chris250 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I think men should consider themselves lucky if they are in a relationship where they don't have to make any decisions. I want her to tell me that I cannot talk to other girls. I am looking for a girl who gets jealous easily. Why? because women with high interest level do not want me talking to other girls. If she says she does not care that I talk to other girls then it's a red flag that she has low interest level in me. So if she tells me that she doesn't want me talking to other girls or even looking at them then that's a sign to me that she wants me all to herself. She's interested in me enough that she wants me all to herself. Bottom line. If your girlfriend does not mind you talking to other girls then that's a red flag that she is losing interest level in you. She should want you to give up your female friendships. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah8688 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 i dont necessarily think that is entirely true. I think that if the guy has crossed the fine line between talking and flirting, then the girl should get jealous. It isn't fun to have a paranoid significant other Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Maybe she's just mature and knows that trust is a vital part of any successful relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Um, negative. A woman that gets jealous easily is insecure. She's insecure about her ability to hang onto her man, and she's insecure about YOUR level of commitment to her. It's not a healthy emotion when allowed to control a person. Kind of like anger - they both serve a purpose, but emotionally healthy people know how to control both. Link to post Share on other sites
Squirtal Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Jealousy is a very negative emotion. I could never tell my partner who to talk to. I trust him and I can tell you my interest level is very high. I have noticed in some cases..not all, that people who get overly jealous are doing so because they are playing away and that they think "If I do it then he/she does it". It can also be looked on as controlling or having huge amount of insecurity..or of course having a bad past, we all handle things differently. Jealousy while at first maybe flattering for some, grows tired after a while and can kill a relationship. Although if you have a jealous partner and can handle and actually feel good by it..fair play to you. I personally would hate it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris250 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Share Posted January 28, 2009 Well I would hope that she finds me attractive enough to care about who I talk to. Link to post Share on other sites
Squirtal Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I don't think its about how attractive someone finds you..I think its how trustworthy you are to someone. And trust is the main basis to a successful relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
prettybaby Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Dude, you have issues Your perception of reality and human psychology is so twisted. It's like, where do I even begin? Link to post Share on other sites
joh2141 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Actually, girls who won't "care" if you talk to other girls are the ones you want to be with because that shows that they trust you. Girls who say no don't trust you. A relationship with no trust is as good as dead. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 EVERYONE gets jealous. They are liars if they don't. It just depends on whether you SHOW it or not. Girls who tend to show it more can be more insecure or it's because they care so much that they can't imagine their SO being/flirting with anyone else. I also think there is a fine line though by being jealous (feeling upset when SO flirts with others/talks about others). It's more like a SO who completely controls what you do, telling you where you can/can't go. Plus, how in the world are you not supposed to look/talk to other girls? Maybe not be all over them/flirt with them but TALKING AND LOOKING are human reactions. You can't prevent them. That to me would be a huge red flag in itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Dude, you have issues Your perception of reality and human psychology is so twisted. It's like, where do I even begin? I think Chris enjoys the attention of us saying that his threads are "weird" and that he is off balance. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 A woman prepared to control you to this extent is also quite prepared to make you miserable. As long as you fit in with her agendas, she doesn't give a stuff how you feel, what you think, or what your say is in the matter. A woman like this won't be attracted to you in the slightest. Not in the way you'd want. She'' be "attracted" to you because to her, you'd be a spineless wimp, whom she can manipulate and control, and who, if he really is this compliant, deserves everything he gets anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
prettybaby Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I think Chris enjoys the attention of us saying that his threads are "weird" and that he is off balance. I'm starting to think the same. His threads can't possibly be real lol Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 even if i care deeply for a man - i don't care who he talks to or looks at. that's his business. i am not a gal who will go getting all upset over something i can't control. doesn't mean i don't like him... just means i'm not over reacting to his behavior. let's be real - any man or woman should be capable of having a conversation with any one on the face of the earth... it's the intention of that conversation that makes a person suspect in these situations. this is where a person shows there true character. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Dreamergrl is banging her head against the wall - darn that hurts. Therapy Medication Head Issues Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Dreamergrl is banging her head against the wall - darn that hurts. Therapy Medication Head Issues LOL, oh definately. I'll add one: Relationship books Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 LOL, oh definately. I'll add one: Relationship books Ooooh better yet, group therapy Link to post Share on other sites
Ramrod Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Watch the movie Fatal Attraction. Then get back to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 EVERYONE gets jealous. They are liars if they don't. It just depends on whether you SHOW it or not. Girls who tend to show it more can be more insecure or it's because they care so much that they can't imagine their SO being/flirting with anyone else. BZZZZZZ. WRONG. Girls who are jealous are insecure in their relationship. Period. There is no "or..." I don't get jealous with my BF. Rather, I trust him completely. Am I a liar? Link to post Share on other sites
AlektraClementine Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I wouldn't call you a liar Star Gazer but I might disagree that all jealous women are insecure. Jealousy in it's natural state is perfectly normal I think unless you start acting like a wacko about things. I get jealous from time to time and I control it. Never snoop. Honest with the BF about it which goes both ways. I mean, I guess you're right if we're playing the semantics game. I infer that your use of the term insecure though, is meant to describe a more severe case of insecurity. Because essentially you are saying that your non-jealousy is a product of feeling secure about yourself? Right or wrong. I think we all have insecurities. No one honestly thinks they are completely flawless. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Here's where I sit on this. If you find the right person for you, this type of trigger doesn't happen. You KNOW when someone's all in. As someone who's possessive/territorial, where I expect that I'm his and he's mine when invested, the only two times this was triggered, was a situation with someone who cheated on me and one where who knows how invested the guy really was, regardless of words. So chris, if you're triggering jealousy or territorialism in someone, expect that this doesn't create a healthy relationship environment. If the girl or woman is anything like I am, she'll pull and run, instead of cling. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Girls who are jealous are insecure in their relationship. I wouldn't call you a liar Star Gazer but I might disagree that all jealous women are insecure. Because essentially you are saying that your non-jealousy is a product of feeling secure about yourself? Right or wrong. I think we all have insecurities. No one honestly thinks they are completely flawless. Re-read what I wrote. I didn't say a jealous person is in and of themselves insecure. I said they are insecure in their relationship. A very important distinction. Link to post Share on other sites
AlektraClementine Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Re-read what I wrote. I didn't say a jealous person is in and of themselves insecure. I said they are insecure in their relationship. A very important distinction. Thank you. I did "re read" what you wrote. Still. I think my logic applies. To what extent are you saying that a jealous person is insecure "in their relationship". How jealous? How insecure? Is there a way to be 100% secure with your relationship? I think it's wonderful that you never feel jealousy. That's really good for you. You realize though, that that's very uncommon. I think it's more important that the jealous party learn how to rationally deal with jealousy. It's not our faults that define us. It's our ability to deal with/resolve issues as they come. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 Still. I think my logic applies. To what extent are you saying that a jealous person is insecure "in their relationship". How jealous? How insecure? I don't think your logic applies. The extent a person is insecure/jealous in their relationship will obviously depend on the individual and the relationship involved. The fact of the matter is, if you're jealous, you're not secure in your relationship. For one reason or another, whether minute or significant, you feel threatened. Is there a way to be 100% secure with your relationship? I know I am in mine. Does that mean I know it will last forever? Nope. But if it does end, I know it will have nothing to do with another woman. I think it's wonderful that you never feel jealousy. I didn't say that either. I said I don't feel jealous with my current BF. Why? Because I am secure in my relationship with him. In other relationships, I didn't feel secure...and hence, I was jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 I understand the argument about insecure/jealousy. Yeah they can happen concurrently. Jealousy can be categorized in different levels as well. If you hear(and this question is thrown out to everyone) your boyfriend talking about an ex would you feel a LITTLE pinge of jealousy? Most likely. Not always, but I think most women do. It's great to be secure in a relationship. I still maintain that everyone feels a "little" jealous of someone in their life at some point. In every relationship, no, in SOME relationship in their life, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
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