Ex GF wants to remain friends but wants affection and couples stuff.

[consume]

My ex and I broke up this past fall, but remained friends and talked frequently. She moved away to another town, and just within the last month we started hanging out again. I see her about 2-3 times a week, but she has specifically told me on many occasions she cannot be in a relationship, and only wants to be friends. Problem is, when we hang out, she wants affection, sex, holding hands, basically everything couples do.

 

Last night, I brought the issue up to her and she got really upset. I understand she doesn't want to be back in a relationship, I know she's trying to get her new life in order and she has a lot on the go, but I don't think what she's asking is fair.

She know's that within the next week, things are going to get busy for her, and her and I won't be able to see each other for a while. Since we won't get to see eachother for 1-3wks between, I asked her if we'll still be affecionate all the time, and she doesn't know.

Which then made me ask... well maybe being affectionate right now isn't a good idea, because it'll only hurt you and I during those times, and it's messing with my head. And on that she replied, I'd rather have it for the next few days then not at all. She tells me she still wants to be with me, still loves me, but can't be in a relationship, doesn't want to be a couple, and she's not sure if she ever will right now.

 

I feel like she's being selffish towards her own needs and disregarding the long term affects. Am I right?

[JennaGennaro]

YES, you are right on all counts. She is using you and it is not fair to keep you holding on to a thin thread like that when you could find a girl that DOES want a relationship with you.

 

Just curious, but who ended the relationship in the first place?

[Enema]

She likes sex and affection... but wants them with someone else.

 

Until she finds that someone else - you'll do.