tabitha83 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 hi, my partner is 45, i am 26 and we have 2 gorgeous kids. we have had a pretty up and down relationship, and last month we were arguing a lot...together at the start of december, then on the 20th he texted me from work randomly,saying he wasnt coming home as he was sick of the arguments. we made up and were starting to try again over xmas bv things were still a bit strained. on new yrs day we had a huge row, and after that we were sleeping in seperate rooms and he was saying it was over between us. anyway the reason for my post is we started to talk about trying again - again! - around 2wks ago. we are back together but just after we got bk as a couple, i found a number on his recieved calls on his phone. i confronted him and straight away he said it was a wrong number. long story short, a few days later i found out it belonged to a woman he had been out for a drink with. i phoned her and she told me she was 38, from up north and had been down over xmas visiting her mother. she had caught his bus a few times over the course of a couple of wks and he asked if she was single and said he was. apparantley they went out for a drink one sunday afternoon sometime after new yrs day - i worked out it was probably jan 5th when technically we had split,but only just! anyway she reckons when they went out he said he was living with his ex but we were seperated. she wasnt interested in him and says they never did anything except spend 20mins having a drink before she did a runner! thing is,my partner says he always told her he was with someone but going thru a rocky patch - he also says that she sent him a text a few days after i spoke to her asking if they could be friends and he told her to leave him alone. she had told me she wasnt going to contact him again after i had phoned her! he also says he didnt see her so much as relationship or sex-partner material,mainly just wanted someone to chat to without arguing for once. i dont believe that, plus she told me she was 38 - nearer his age than me - only just five feet tall and a size 6 - so more petite than i am. that gets to me, my partner says he loves me,regrets what he did and has been trying with me since we got bk together,but it plays on my mind and i cant even kiss him anymore! how do i get over this - or should i even try, should i leave him? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 It sounds like the woman was being honest in that she simply met him for a drink and he told her he was not attached. She wasnt very interested, and that was it. He is telling you SHE had continued to contact him to boost his ego. For whatever reason, he wants you to believe she was more interested than she was. So, there is the problem. Well, two problems. First, his ego needs boosting. Maybe the age difference, maybe the on again/off again nature of your relationship. And then there is the cheating - because that is what he did. He hid it from you. When you have children with someone without benefit of the committment of marriage , you give up something not too many people think about. When you are married - legally, with that piece of paper - it makes it harder to just move out and walk away or go back & forth. Of course, it doesnt stop arguments or cheating. But the back & forth just isnt so easy and when you have to really change things to move out or see other people .... its more of a committment. Link to post Share on other sites
LovieDove24 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I couldn't get past the first sentence that he is 45 and you are 26. Yipes! Sorry this is mean I know... Link to post Share on other sites
MSUE Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I can't get past that either...sorry... Link to post Share on other sites
Libellule Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 To hellwith what the others say ok there not helping... The thing that seems to be is that all the fihgting in your relationship and all the negative energie is making him retreat in his own little bubble... its making act like aq child... wich is going to see someone else to talk to besides you.... hes basically runing away from his problems... wich is why he told the girl that he was single. Also... you have every RIGHT to be hurt angry and sad... its basically cheating and weather ou were with him or not it a matter of respect and lain dignity not to do that. Anyways... thats just my giving... But i think you guys shoukd maybee go to counselling for all your fighting and then maybee things would get better because you guys have been trying on ur own and its not working... Link to post Share on other sites
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