I broke up with her, but still can't forget.

[Goatsbreath]

nature is smart and I'm going to take her advice for my situation ....haha. Only problem is I can't say Im going to Japan or she will think I'm making **** up. I'm pretty stretched financially at the moment.

 

Hey nature, any ideas what I would say to sound busy about. I mean, this girl is not calling me left and right like in his case but I still think if she does. I mean, its been 18 days NC now and based on our long history I don't imagine never hearing from her.

[nature]

Goat, give me a quick recap of your situation!! Then I'll think of something!!! Busy-ness can be faked in sooooo many ways!! lol

[DJMarky]

Thanks a lot nature.

 

Damn, I wish I got told all this before she called using a private number. Wow, I wish I could go back and change the convo completely, I gave more off a vibe that I hated her rather than indifference. Wish I answered like, 'Yo what's up sex!?', which would have caught her off guard. Can't do that now she isn't stupid, she knows that I know she calls from private numbers now, so can't make it obvious I was expecting a call from a girl.

 

Damn damn damn .. oh well. I don't plan on answering/responding before Japan. Let's wait and see if she tries that private number **** again, this time i'll be prepared.

 

Haha, I used to love this girl so much, now I have so much contempt for her I am intentionally trying to piss her off. I bet she is not used to it, so funny.

 

Her ex ex told her that he was crying in the shower til the hot water went cold. She told me (when we were dating) and we both laughed. Now she has him and this new guy wrapped around her finger, luckily for me I have some self respect and won't let a girl, no matter how attractive, walk all over me.

 

Thanks again.

[Goatsbreath]

Goat, give me a quick recap of your situation!! Then I'll think of something!!! Busy-ness can be faked in sooooo many ways!! lol

 

quick recap: She decided she needed some space, wanted to stay together but move out and have a more open relationship. She wanted to be able to do what she wanted but without having to answer to anyone. She is now 30 and Im 33. I want the opposite, I want marriage and kids and she says this feels like marriage and was not sure she wanted that. Well she moved out and I know she has been hanging out with a guy from her work who is married but seperated, has two kids. Pretty sure this was the plan all along.

 

I did not accept any of it and protested, begged some, cried a lot, she cried AT FIRST and eventually it turned into this. She lives in her new apartment down the road and I totally dumped the apartment we shared and moved in with a friend for now that lives 20 minutes away.

 

In our last conversation over the phone, 18 days ago I told her I was cleaning up the apartment and I found some more stuff of hers. I asked if she wanted me to leave it on her door. She said, "its not like I don't ever want to see you again or anything, I can come get it where your staying or something." I ended up leaving it on her door step the next day anyway.

 

She says she loves me but like a friend and then on the other hand says our relationship started feeling like a marriage to her and she don't know if thats what she wants right now. I know she wants to remain friends but said we should take some space for now. I didn't respond to that statement...hmm. Anyway, we also have a 12 year friendship. I met her before I went away to college back in high school, we dated, she was my first then we went our own ways. We kept in touch, lost touch and then reconnected under the assumption it was fate and we would be together forever. Ok, that was a long recap but thats my story. Thanks

[nature]

Goat...your ex was not ready to commit to you all the way. As you said, you wanted marriage and kids. She did not. Therefore, you must go utterly NC. No answering her calls, no emails, no anything. If she does happen to catch you off guard with a phone call, that's when you act breezy, happy and ohhhhh soooooo busy!! Busy, busy, busy! You are just running out the door to meet some friends. When she asks, "who? what friends". Say, "oh you don't know them". This will bother her. Use the word "them" because she will think you are trying to hide the fact that it is a girl you are mtg. If you run in to her, be breezy, busy and on your way to meet "someone". If she asks who, again say "you don't know them". Be aloof.

 

DJ...you can always fix things! It's ok if you did the angry/sad/pissed off thing the last few months. Now it's time to show her the opposite. This will make her think you have healed and really are over her. I hope you have decided not to go to that Club she is going to. Believe me, she will love the attention of knowing you are there. Do not go. When do you leave for Japan? How long are you going for? No, you don't plan on talking to her before you leave. But if she does catch you, then you play the breezy/happy/aloof card. If she calls from a blocked number, ask her straight out why she's blocking her number. Say to her that you thought it was someone else. Do whatever. Just be breezy. You can redeem yourself! lol No anger. No jealousy. No attention. You are Mr.Happy from now on!!!

[DJMarky]

DJ...you can always fix things! It's ok if you did the angry/sad/pissed off thing the last few months. Now it's time to show her the opposite. This will make her think you have healed and really are over her. I hope you have decided not to go to that Club she is going to. Believe me, she will love the attention of knowing you are there. Do not go. When do you leave for Japan? How long are you going for? No, you don't plan on talking to her before you leave. But if she does catch you, then you play the breezy/happy/aloof card. If she calls from a blocked number, ask her straight out why she's blocking her number. Say to her that you thought it was someone else. Do whatever. Just be breezy. You can redeem yourself! lol No anger. No jealousy. No attention. You are Mr.Happy from now on!!!

 

We have only been broken up for two weeks now, so I haven't been angry for a few months . The first week I barely contacted her, only once to curse at her, then the other times were to reply to her messages/calls. Then this week I have just been ignoring her completely, which is when she called me using a private number.

 

I leave to Japan on Tuesday. I wish we broke up way before this trip so I won't even think about her for a second when I am over there.

 

This club tonight, hmmmm .. it's a good mates birthday, there will be quite literally 20 of us going to this club afterwards. Surely there is safety in numbers? I feel pretty bad not going, cause I feel like I am letting her control my decisions, when really I shouldn't have to. I understand that she will probably try and make me jealous, and you are right, I shouldn't really go. Depends how I feel after my friends birthday celebrations. If I am a bit sulky I won't go.

[BackonTrack2]

Thanks nature!

I haven't got a call from her today. I don't take my phone to the beach, but when I get home there is usually a missed call from her, or a msg, but not today. Maybe she got the idea from last night?

 

 

Thats because she got her FIX already the other day when you picked up, she won't call for a while until she starts to wonder because she knows your STILL THERE. She doesn't have to worry about you anymore, because when you were NC, she was worried, now she's not, so its going to take time for her to call back or if she really wanted those entourage DVD's. ;-)

 

PS, DjMarky, my goal was just to keep you sane enough to not get yourself hurt anymore until the others got involved. Now that I see you have multiple support sources, I will just bash for the fun of it, eitherway, what ended up happening was, you are now armed with a wealth of information, enough for you to TURN the tables on the she-devil, that was not expected.

[DJMarky]

PS, DjMarky, my goal was just to keep you sane enough to not get yourself hurt anymore until the others got involved. Now that I see you have multiple support sources, I will just bash for the fun of it, eitherway, what ended up happening was, you are now armed with a wealth of information, enough for you to TURN the tables on the she-devil, that was not expected.

 

I appreciate that man.

 

Thanks for all the help guys, not sure there is much else you can do.

 

I didn't end up going to that club last night, the wind was cranking! I was out windsurfing and didn't get out of the water til close to 9pm! It was pretty much pitch black .. anyways got home had dinner then realised I was buggered like a ****, did some freelance work and went to bed.

 

Didn't hear from her. I was tempted to message her, but what I do now is write out the sms then delete it. For some reason it makes me feel better.

 

If anything major happens ill let you know. Few more days til I am in Tokyo! Whatttuppp !!

[DJMarky]

uggg .. hungover.

 

****, I went out last night with the guys since it was the last saturday night i'd be here for a while and yeh ended up getting drunk as, there are parts of the night I don't remember.

 

I have a feeling I smsed my ex, but deleted all my msgs cause I didn't want to know about it.

 

Yep, you guys can scold me. I really ****ed up (well I am not sure).

 

Alcohol, WHY WHY WHY!?!?

 

My god I have my fingers crossed that I did not sms her. I really really really hope I didn't.

 

Oh well, least in Japan there will be no way of contacting her no matter how drunk I am.

 

I don't plan on going out drinking before Japan so i'm sticking to NC.

 

Also, I don't actually want her back. I feel like I am getting better everyday. Reading this thread just proves I was right about how much of a bitch (she-devil) she is. I want to get to the point that she could **** anyone or anything and I wouldn't care. I am getting there.

[BackonTrack2]

Dude as I am writing this message right now in real-time, I have my EX EX in the other room. I just had sex with her, and I went out with her, to some japense place in the city, while I was fawking her, it was not fun. Now that I'm finished and while I was with her in the city I just kept thinking to myself "Where are you", even now as I am writing this post, I am feeling, ITS NOT the same, I still honestly can't believe how my ex threw me away. I miss her and I just want to taste her, but thats not going to happen, I'm never going to call her again, I want so much to call her and tell her I miss her but I won't. I don't even tear anymore, its not even worth it, I want so much for her to come back, in exactly 22 days it will be 1 year of NC.

 

I loved that girl to death and now as I am here smoking this cigarette, writing this post and hearing the train roll across my window, I feel nothing. I don't even wish she comes back, she made her choice, I just have to go through these feelings alone until one day I will forget. In all honesty I know she won't ever come back or call me, I know that.........

 

It doesn't really help though, I still think about her, so I guess what I'm saying to you is that even though we may not resepond, we read your MSG, I know what its like, but thats LIFE and thats the way it works.......

 

Some things are not meant to be, no matter how much you want it. Just stay strong and know in time that feeling will pass....

Now I put my head down in shame, and tell myself "She never loved me", it was all a lie, I imagine it.... It felt so real and now I'm just disappointed. I still can't believe it, I never expected her to leave...... Whatever, its life, who cares, I'll find someone else to get back what I had before....

 

Funny though, she must of already found that...... lucky her......

[Goatsbreath]

Dude as I am writing this message right now in real-time, I have my EX EX in the other room. I just had sex with her, and I went out with her, to some japense place in the city, while I was fawking her, it was not fun. Now that I'm finished and while I was with her in the city I just kept thinking to myself "Where are you", even now as I am writing this post, I am feeling, ITS NOT the same, I still honestly can't believe how my ex threw me away. I miss her and I just want to taste her, but thats not going to happen, I'm never going to call her again, I want so much to call her and tell her I miss her but I won't. I don't even tear anymore, its not even worth it, I want so much for her to come back, in exactly 22 days it will be 1 year of NC.

 

I loved that girl to death and now as I am here smoking this cigarette, writing this post and hearing the train roll across my window, I feel nothing. I don't even wish she comes back, she made her choice, I just have to go through these feelings alone until one day I will forget. In all honesty I know she won't ever come back or call me, I know that.........

 

It doesn't really help though, I still think about her, so I guess what I'm saying to you is that even though we may not resepond, we read your MSG, I know what its like, but thats LIFE and thats the way it works.......

 

Some things are not meant to be, no matter how much you want it. Just stay strong and know in time that feeling will pass....

Now I put my head down in shame, and tell myself "She never loved me", it was all a lie, I imagine it.... It felt so real and now I'm just disappointed. I still can't believe it, I never expected her to leave...... Whatever, its life, who cares, I'll find someone else to get back what I had before....

 

Funny though, she must of already found that...... lucky her......

 

Im confused, so you did have sex with her? Did I miss something, I dont really understand what you are saying here.

[sedgwick]

W

Should you go to japan and not say NOTHING = YES.

 

You should NOT SAY NOTHING!!

NO EMAIL, NO TEXT, No HELLO, No nothing.

 

*bangs head against desk as eyes permanently cross from double negatives*

[DJMarky]

Backontrack I hope in a years time I don't even remember that this girl existed. I am struggling with the idea that I have thought about her everyday for the past two weeks.

 

She called me last night, I didn't call back. At this stage I don't even think I can talk to her after what she did.

 

Flight is in about ~36 hours, see if I can stay NC til then.

 

Im confused, so you did have sex with her? Did I miss something, I dont really understand what you are saying here.

 

He had sex with his ex ex, not his last ex. Two different girls involved.

 

*bangs head against desk as eyes permanently cross from double negatives*

 

Haha I noticed that as well!

[DJMarky]

Eh, so I logged onto msn for the first time this week, didn't look who was online as I typed in my password and minimised it.

 

She starts a convo, i give one word replies, somehow convo goes to her wanting to see me tomorrow and get icecream with me tonight, and how she is bored of the new guy. ****ing user bitch. HAHAH! Wow, she is making it so easy for me to get over her.

 

[EDIT]

 

Ofcourse I said no.

[nature]

She starts a convo, i give one word replies,

I hope they were replies about how busy you are and how excited you are for Japan!!!!! Remember, you are happy and busy....no rudeness or anger!!!

 

somehow convo goes to her wanting to see me tomorrow and get icecream with me tonight,

I hope you said, ohhhhh that would be nice, but I'm just toooooooo busy getting ready, have a million things to do and people to see before I leave!!! But in future, you should remove her from your MSN. As in, do it now. Why do you still have her as a contact? Remove her.

 

and how she is bored of the new guy. ****ing user bitch.

She actually has the nerve to say this to you? This girl really has no respect for you at this time. No respect. I would never bring up a new person I was dating, no matter how little I cared for my ex. That's just hurtful and rubbing salt in the wound. She really is full of herself. Arrogant.

 

HAHAH! Wow, she is making it so easy for me to get over her.

No she's not, because you are not remotely over her.

 

How long are you going to Japan for?

[stillafool]

DJMarky, this girl is a total playa. She is playing everybody and you guys just let her get away with it because she's, what, hot!?? Dude, tell her to lose your phone number and don't ever contact you again. You'll see her 20 years down the road a lonely, fat old lady.

 

See guys, women aren't the only ones who fall for the "bad boy". As you can see men fall just as hard for the "bad girl".

[DJMarky]

She starts a convo, i give one word replies,

I hope they were replies about how busy you are and how excited you are for Japan!!!!! Remember, you are happy and busy....no rudeness or anger!!!

 

somehow convo goes to her wanting to see me tomorrow and get icecream with me tonight,

I hope you said, ohhhhh that would be nice, but I'm just toooooooo busy getting ready, have a million things to do and people to see before I leave!!! But in future, you should remove her from your MSN. As in, do it now. Why do you still have her as a contact? Remove her.

 

and how she is bored of the new guy. ****ing user bitch.

She actually has the nerve to say this to you? This girl really has no respect for you at this time. No respect. I would never bring up a new person I was dating, no matter how little I cared for my ex. That's just hurtful and rubbing salt in the wound. She really is full of herself. Arrogant.

 

HAHAH! Wow, she is making it so easy for me to get over her.

No she's not, because you are not remotely over her.

 

How long are you going to Japan for?

 

I am in Japan for a month. Flight is tonight.

 

Yeh when she said she would drive to mine and we would get ice cream I said sorry I couldn't I was going to a mates for beer, pizza and videos (which was true), then when she said she wanted to see me tomorrow (today) in the morning I said I couldn't cause I had to get some more things for Japan (not entirely true).

 

I have blocked and deleted her off my msn now. My mistake.

 

Yep, the fact she brings up the other guy is like w t f, but I did what you told me and didn't act annoyed or anything. Just kept it brief, like oh that's nice.

 

She wrote like a paragraph telling me what days she was doing what drugs and I was just rolling my eyes going my god you are a poser, but just replied with oh sounds like good times or something to that effect.

 

DJMarky, this girl is a total playa. She is playing everybody and you guys just let her get away with it because she's, what, hot!?? Dude, tell her to lose your phone number and don't ever contact you again. You'll see her 20 years down the road a lonely, fat old lady.

 

See guys, women aren't the only ones who fall for the "bad boy". As you can see men fall just as hard for the "bad girl".

 

Yeh I can see that now.

 

I would like to get her reaction when she looks in the mirror and realises, wow, I am not as hot as I used to be. Then looks back on her life and realises what a whore she was.

[DJMarky]

Ok guys, probably my last reply to this thread for atleast a month.

 

Taxi comes in 30 minutes.

 

****, I went to the beach today and now my shoulders are burnt, going to be ****house carrying around a hiking bag!!!

 

Anyways, Cheers for all the help.

[stillafool]

Have fun and let us know how it went!!!

[BackonTrack2]

Update,

WOW, re-reading my threads, seem like so long ago, even though it was only last week.

 

I think I moved on, I got a new girl now, I like her, I'm going to keep her. I have to build with her now, I can taste her now, her skin is like semi-sweet, it has a taste to it.

 

Ex seems like ancient days, it doesn't even bother me.

 

I think I got over it, took a year though, in the end, I don't even know what happen, I was messed up mentally for a long time and lost lots of money but other than that, I am find. I do know she cheated on me and told me to fawk off, I know that much.

 

Everything else, I can't remember, i guess it was all lies or maybe not but that was the past, this is the present.

 

Took me a while, I guess I was the one holding myself back in reality. Delayed life progress, almost didn't make it, luckly my friend(s) saved me.

 

My current girl, i'm digging her, I am going to keep her, she's mature, 29. I wonder what my ex is up too, but ah, it really doesn't matter anymore.

 

So thats it, thats life, we all move on, sooner or later.

[DJMarky]

OMFGOSH it's over already!!!

 

That holiday was so awesome. Met so many awesome people.

 

At the resort in Hokkaido I had unlimited food (awesome buffet) and as much drink (beer, cocktails, milkshakes etc) as I wanted, all inclusive! So basically day consisted of getting up, having an awesome breakfast (pretty much anything you can think of related to breakfast), snowboard, lunch, snowboard, dinner, bar!

 

The rest of the holiday was also awesome, except when my ex decided to send me an email with a picture of her in lingerie saying she missed me and wanted to talk.

 

I got back today, talked to a friend who told me one of his friends (an aquintance of mine) saw her out one time, asked her if we were still going out and she told him that we never were lol.

 

I had no intention of going back to her, no matter what bull**** she said, but that really just finalises it there!

[DJMarky]

Wow, so I kept ignoring her and she snapped.

 

Wrote to me saying that none of her friends have ever liked me, all her male friends want to smash me so I should watch out and that she liked ****ing the other guy.

 

Hahah, it is really getting to her.

 

Such a whore, oh well lucky I got out early.

[DJMarky]

Wow, ok so I am trying to brush this off and not care but I do. I feel sick that she could rub it in my face like that.

 

I just got to keep ignoring her emails/phone calls and not talk to her and hopefully I can get over her fully.

 

I really thought after Japan I would be fine.

 

*Sigh* .. what is wrong with me?

[CoB]

sounds like your ex is a basketcase man lol good job on the NC, its hard.

 

Look at it this way though, obviously the NC is really messing with her or she wouldnt have freaked out like that. That should just be more motivation to keep goin with it. What else could she possibly do now lol other than get more and more torn up by not talking to you!

[WiseOne1]

It's now in concrete, I see exactly what your ex is doing!!! Hmmm

She’s using your for validation, she’s hurt very badly, my guess is this new guy is treating her like she**, he cares so less about her, that he doesn't even want to spend the time even debating with her over the smallest issue.

 

So she contacts you and every little time you get mad, or curse her, or whatever it maybe, it makes her feel good for 2 reasons,

 

1. She feels better because she can show it to her friends, and also tell her friends how your treating her and since she’s a liar possibly making her self look good, like she’s being stalked!

 

2. She feels better because regardless if you interact with her in a bad or good way, she knows she still has someone that loves her, as long as she can get a reaction out of you, rather it be good or bad, she’s done her job!

 

Don't you see, you have her going crazy!! She is really the pathetic one, she’s the one who's toting you and contacting you, if she was really happy with this new guy you would be the last thing that is on her mind.