Update

[SoulSearch_CO]

Ack. Am I the only one that found this anti-climactic? Yes, good for him - he's a professional. Sounds like a decent guy. But I wanted him to profess his undying love and/or grab Spooks in a passionate embrace. ****. Alright - so keep us updated. If you get your transfer and he doesn't do a damn thing after that to pursue, he's a fool.

 

Hmmm this makes me want to tell my boss how I feel but he is married so I guess that is different...

This actually did make me snort.

[Touche]

Am I the only one that found this anti-climactic?

 

Nope, you're not. That's exactly what I was thinking when I read the outcome. Your scenario made me laugh! I was kind of picturing the same thing...such romantics aren't we?

 

This guy is either a) not interested or b) super cautious because of the work situation - him being the boss and all.

 

Only time will tell. As another poster stated the ball is now in his court.

 

Spook, continue to hold your head high and just be professional and act like you always have.

[Dumbledore]

Spook, continue to hold your head high and just be professional and act like you always have.

I was going to suggest holding her head at waist height, just in case an opportunity presented itself. But, you're right, maybe it's better to start with something more conventional.

[Touche]

I was going to suggest holding her head at waist height, just in case an opportunity presented itself. But, you're right, maybe it's better to start with something more conventional.

 

 

Naughty, naughty!

[spookie]

I got a call from his boss almost as soon as I came in today. He said Jack had relayed our convo from the day before, and that, being as impressed by both me and my work as he is, he wanted to do everything possible to make me comfortable, so I could produce more of it. =) He said I should be expecting a call from HR sometimes soon, so it looks like the transfer ball's already rolling.

 

Meanwhile, Jack is less flirty than normal, but we worked together all morning and we're getting things done, which is probably the best I could hope for for now.

 

I'm a little nervous that after all this drama I'll just end up in a crappy division, where people don't like me or respect me as for some reason these people do; but I can't think about that right now.

[Alpha Female]

I cant believe that people advised this poster to tell her boss she had feelings for him. Huge mistake in my book.

 

Spookie: of course they are going to transfer you. Once you told your boss you had feelings for him you became a human resources target. Now the reputation will follow you that you are the type of woman who falls in love with her boss. Human resources and all of your future managers will now be aware of your history and will watch you for signs of this going forward. They will treat you very sensitively as you are now the type of employee that they fear - the type who is emotionally unstable and may end up in a law suit. I am more than sure they will place you with a female boss next time and that you will be watched very closely for all of your actions and encroachments on policy.

 

What you should have done is ask for a transfer and left it at that.

[Touche]

Believe it. Some of us don't live our lives being politically correct. Too boring.

[Alpha Female]

What does PC have to do with advising a young woman to commit career suicide?

 

I am an HR Director. This kind of drama is not what you want associated with yourself. HR will move her only because she is considered a risk to the company at this point. If her HR department is on their game, they will transfer her, then start proceedings to get her fired. It will take a while, as once an employee presents such risk to the company, you have to tread carefully in protocol to get rid of such an employee.

 

But it remains that the view on her now from everyone is to see her as being emotionally unstable and therefore a risk. It also won't be long before the truth behind her transfer gets out.

[Touche]

How was it career suicide to advise her as some of us did? Aren't you jumping the gun there?

 

Very familiar with HR having been a manager of a staffing agency.

 

I stand by my advice.

[Alpha Female]

Managing a staffing agency is not quite corporate HR.

 

Fine to stand by your advice, but it sounds like you did it for your own amusement.

[Touche]

Managing a staffing agency is not quite corporate HR.

 

Fine to stand by your advice, but it sounds like you did it for your own amusement.

 

I was well-acquainted with all our clients' HR policies. That was part of my job. So yeah, I had to be familiar with corporate HR too.

 

Nope. I didn't advise Spook the way I did for my own "amusement." How insulting. I took her history into account and not just this ONE thread. She's been driven to distraction for awhile by this man. She was thinking of leaving anyway, so where was the great harm?

 

It sure doesn't sound like her boss had a big problem with it.

[Touche]

Just curious about this little tidbit:

 

It also won't be long before the truth behind her transfer gets out.

 

Aren't an employee's records confidential in your neck of the woods?

 

Who would let the truth about her transfer out? Her boss? Doubtful. HR? Not too professional and unethical to boot.

[JamesM]

I have to agree with Alpha Female. Spookie will be known by management as one who transferred due to an infatuation with her boss.

 

What that means is unknown yet, but two things can result...both extreme. One, the next boss may like his subordinates and attempt to get Spookie to like him. Two, the next boss may stay as far away as possible so that he is not a target of a lawsuit.

 

Yes, the next manager will know why the transfer took place.

 

If she went to a different company, then the records would not go with her. However, in this case, her next department will know.

 

Should she have told her boss she liked him? No.

 

What is done is done. I doubt any further damage will happen, but it could.

 

As for other employees finding out, legally it cannot happen, but if the White House has leaks to the press, then how can a small company prevent leaks to its employees?

[shadowplay]

I guess I don't understand why Spookie would pose a threat to the company. I mean what lawsuit would she possibly file? Sexual harassment? She's the one attracted to him.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm going to avoid the spookie side of this equation except to say, don't crap where you eat.

 

As for Jack, he's going places. Smart move to tell HR. This will ensure that if sexual harassment is put onto the table, he didn't do anything.

 

If in the future he changes his mind and does something, this information will still be in spookie's file and the onus will lay with spookie even worse, to prove otherwise.

[Touche]

I guess I don't understand why Spookie would pose a threat to the company. I mean what lawsuit would she possibly file? Sexual harassment? She's the one attracted to him.

 

I agree.

 

.................

[shadowplay]

Would it still be considered a no-no for her boss to date her once she's transferred to another department?

 

From his response he's obviously very professional. Even if he likes her, I'm concerned that he won't pursue her even when she's transferred for this reason.

[Trialbyfire]

Would it still be considered a no-no for her boss to date her once she's transferred to another department?

Company policy/Employees P&P manual, will define if fraternization is acceptable between management/supervisory staff and line staff, regardless of reporting line.

[Alpha Female]

Touche: Sorry, I didn't get the feeling that she said she was in a position to change companies. I got the point that she felt stuck where she is.

 

And yes, employee records are confidential, but you are assuming that Jack wont tell someone, or that Jacks boss wont tell someone, or that someone in HR wont tell someone, or that Spookies new boss wont tell someone. These things have a way of working around the rumor mill. If you know about corporate life, then you would know that people have allies and confidantes in all departments and levels. This info will end up getting out.

 

James: exactly my point. I have seen "confidental" information leaked more often than I can count. Too many people already have their hand in this pot.

 

Shadowplay: she poses a threat on many levels. She is now viewed as being unprofessional and emotionally unstable. Her company will now have to worry about her trumping up nuisance suits. When you have a female underling exclaiming feelings for a male superior and asking for a transfer, everyone braces for a lawsuit. HR is now wondering if they were actually involved, and he ended it, and thats why shes leaving. I am more than sure that Jack had to answer some tough questions when he went to HR and his boss about her reasons for wanting out. Her company is worried about her turning this around as an harassment suit against Jack, and honestly, he will now be watched for a while as well. She put him in a difficult situation by doing this. Right now, Jack is busy trying to defend himself, act as cleanly and professionally as possible, and then get her out of his department as soon as he can.

[AlektraClementine]

This is my honest opinion. I don't think he actually wants to date her. People bend the rules all the time in the name of attraction. I could be wrong and have been before... but the fact that Jack went to HR immediately says to me that she freaked him out. Maybe there are some do-gooders out there who would do the same thing: follow protocol and talk feelings later. I highly doubt it though.

 

AlphaFemale said something about how HR will now see her as emotionally unstable. I couldn't agree more. If you cannot go to work everyday and deal with attractions (we all have them) without unburdening your soul to your boss, then you are incapable of managing yourself in a PROFESSIONAL environment. i.e. emotionally unstable.

 

Jesus - there are people losing their jobs every single day in this country. Work is not a place to play games.

 

edit- sorry I forget not everyone is American on this board. I don't know where the OP lives.. haha.

[Trialbyfire]

I don't think it's as dire as considering her unstable but it's generally frowned upon, when personal situations enter the workplace. It's one thing, if it's a family emergency and another, where personal attraction happens between staff members.

 

In spookie's favour, she's young and inexperienced. This should be taken into consideration, if the HR dept and management are any kind of judge of character. She's shown her abilities to be a smart and productive employee.

 

Having said all that, it doesn't change my set opinion about not crapping where you eat. The potential drama just isn't worth the risk to career.

 

Say it's a situation where it doesn't break any employee guidelines. If you're going to attempt to date someone within the company, only do it at arms-length and ensure that both parties aren't prone to break up drama, if it doesn't work out. Stay away from previously committed persons!

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Clearly you see that Spookie may have put herself at professional risk by this request for transfer. Alpha, you in particular seem to have some insider information regarding the HR process. So...one question....

 

 

Why the ****didn't you say anything before this? Why didn't you use this information to inform Spookie about the risks involved? Now you're just going to scare her, because what's done is done.

 

Not fair.

[AlektraClementine]

Spookie - had Jack indicated any signs of attraction for you? I ask because normally people send signals that if paid attention to, offer a "come hither" vibe.

 

If he did not, I question why you proceeded. It's not like it's a bar and you can just go home and never be seen by this person again.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Spookie - had Jack indicated any signs of attraction for you? I ask because normally people send signals that if paid attention to, offer a "come hither" vibe.

 

If he did not, I question why you proceeded. It's not like it's a bar and you can just go home and never be seen by this person again.

 

Yes, he did. Read her threads.

[AlektraClementine]

Clearly you see that Spookie may have put herself at professional risk by this request for transfer. Alpha, you in particular seem to have some insider information regarding the HR process. So...one question....

 

 

Why the ****didn't you say anything before this? Why didn't you use this information to inform Spookie about the risks involved? Now you're just going to scare her, because what's done is done.

 

Not fair.

 

my answer - didn't read the thread when originally posted. If I had I would have said:

 

I had a boss one time and developed a mad crush on him for 6 months. Didn't expose myself. Continued working on work. Crush went away. I still work with him to this day and am very thankful that I didn't jeopardize my employment and professional reputation. There was another young female who had a similar crush on him and did make a pass at him. She wasn't fired but was forever viewed as unprofessional despite her performance at her tasks.