Feeling apathetic towards women...

[kdark]

For the last six months, all I can feel towards women is complete and total apathy, and I can't find out why.

 

I just have no interest in trying to pursue a relationship, a friendship with benefits, or even just a one night stand.

 

I've felt slightly lonely, but it's never going to get to the point where I feel lonely enough to want to try to pursue something with a girl I enjoy being around. And that's another problem, I haven't found any girl that I enjoy their company enough that I want to try to see how it goes with them. I've had plenty of opportunities from great looking, nice, and all around high quality girls, who I know in my head I should go for, but I never bother to try, and always turn them down.

 

The only thought that runs through my mind when a girl approaches me is "Why are you talking to me? Don't you have anything better to do than to hit on me?"

 

The few times that I have seen or talked to a girl that I think has a lot of potential, the thoughts going through my mind are that I shouldn't even waste my time, and that she isn't worth the effort.

 

Things are going really well in my life. I have a great job, enough money to be comfortable, my own place in the center of a party town, plenty of good friends, and I am well on my way to finishing my college degree. I should feel great, but I just feel meh.

 

I used to think it was feelings for my ex girlfriend, but everytime I see her I don't want to have anything to do with her. I will see her once every couple of months at work, and when we exchange pleasantries I just want to end the conversation and get back to what I was doing. Our relationship ended very abruptly, and I think she may have broken my will to date anyone, even her again.

 

It just doesn't make sense to me. Dating someone else didn't make me feel better, dating her again isn't going to make me feel better, random sex didn't make me feel better, focusing on work and school doesn't make me feel any better, and I almost feel like my friends are bothering me when they ask to hang out. Does anyone else have any suggestions on how I can move on, and get to a happy point in my life instead of this state of limbo I have been in the past six months?

[Adamagnet]

Do you still enjoy personal hobbies?

[Geishawhelk]

Depression hits you in weird ways.

It's not apathy.

You need to see someone professional, because you're depressed.

Really, you are.

 

Giveaway?

 

This bit.

 

I've had plenty of opportunities from great looking, nice, and all around high quality girls, who I know in my head I should go for, but I never bother to try, and always turn them down.

 

The only thought that runs through my mind when a girl approaches me is "Why are you talking to me? Don't you have anything better to do than to hit on me?"

[kdark]

I still enjoy personal hobbies, but they just feel like time fillers instead of actual enjoyment and fulfilment. I'm very easily bored.

 

Geisha, that's what I was thinking too, and you're usually spot on with what you see. I've never been to a professional, but This has gone on too long for it to fix itself. Any tips on how to go about looking for someone professional?

[lazlow99]

They should have a counseling service at your college/university. Try them, that way you wouldn't have to pay either.

[Geishawhelk]

Your first port of call is to go and see your doctor. Tell him your fears and (I don't know how you feel about this, but) explain that you don't want to go down the anti-depressants route at all/just yet (I don't think you'll need them) but that you'd like him to suggest a person you could go and see.

Alternatively, do it either by word of mouth, or look up someone local.

The important thing is to not necessarily settle fo the first person you meet.

You need someone with whom you click and can establish a working rapport with.

I'm not suggesting you'll get dependent on them, but good therapists are usually good at spotting that anyway....

But you need to find someone that when you leave their studio, you feel that some progress was made.

And remember -their job is to bounce stuff back atcha. They don't help you, by helping you, they help you by letting you help yourself.

 

I want to wish you real good luck in this, because you deserve to smile and feel good about yourself again, very soon.

 

((hugs))

[kdark]

I'm hesitant to use my universities counselor, because I know a lot of people who have seen him, and my major is counseling at my university, so i will have run ins with him later in class and such.

 

I'll keep you guys posted on how things work with finding someone.

[Adamagnet]

I'm hesitant to use my universities counselor, because I know a lot of people who have seen him, and my major is counseling at my university, so i will have run ins with him later in class and such.

 

If you can solve your own problem with his help, wouldn't that be a boon to your progression in the profession?

 

If you can't recall any specific event that precipitated your emotional state change then you can do some simple things that help to mitigate apathy: increase your exercise regimen, take a magnesium supplement, cut out ethanol, avoid the media, and get a minimum of 10minutes of sunlight daily. Even though you mention that this started in the summer, depression can alter your perception of time...

[Weird]

Welcome to the club where you finally realize that life is nothing but events that fill time and thus take an indifferent feel to it all.

 

You may be suffering from depression or you may just be enlightened to the reality of life.

 

I also think you may just be happy with doing things on your own and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing "wrong" with a person if they have no interest in trying to get hooked up and just be alone and enjoy that alone time.