exclusive. Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Okay, so my ex and I went through a pretty hard break up from my end but due to recent events with my grandad passing away and his funeral was Monday just gone - I had to throw in the towel on the no contact and I decided at the moment I would like her as a friend. She knows I cannot just be a friend but we let it be anyway... Well, we obviously get onto discussions about us and when shes sober she tells me she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't know if she loves me anymore. However, when she is drunk she calls me up at night and refers to me and Mr Lover, says 'I love you' and 'I miss you' - one night we agreed to see each other before my grandads fuenral as it would be nice to see her to comfort me - well I said I would pick her up from a party and again - she rings me up saying to put my foot down she really misses me, and is looking forward to seeing me. As soon as she gets in the car she says in a sad voice, 'I love you and really miss you' again and then full on kisses me affectionately. We go back to her house and it continues with affectionate hugs, we would most definately would have had sex if it wasn't for the time of the month. Seeing as she climbed on top of me and started to dry hump. Im so confused? What do I do here? I want her back because for well over 6 weeks my life has been crap without her and whenever we talk I feel myself smiling again. But she is scared of telling me she loves me when sober and reckons lovey stuff pushes her away. Yet, when she is drunk she's all over me - any ideas guys/girls? Im stumped Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Go out with her, but it would mean keeping her permanently drunk. Or let her stay sober, but keep away from her. I would combine the two. Drunk or sober, keep away from her. Link to post Share on other sites
me1234 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Alcohol impairs judgement - people do not think as clearly and don't consider the consequences of their actions as much as usual. They act more on emotion, and with their judgement impaired, their emotions are somewhat amplified. I would guess that in her rational sober mind there are reasons for you two to be apart, but under the influence, the inhibitions go out the window and she acts on the drunken-magnified underlying emotions with little regard for any other issues you two have. as for her drunken sexual advances, in addition to lowered inhibitions, alcohol definitely increases sexual arousal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author exclusive. Posted January 29, 2009 Author Share Posted January 29, 2009 I could understand if she did it once, but she says she loves me everytime she gets drunk. Now she is saying she is confused with her feelings and she doesnt know how she feels. I said I'd like to go see her tomorrow night and she said she would like that too - im so confused. She said by staying friends though it will allow her to see whether thats how she feels or she wants more? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 This reminds me of that logo: "She don't like me drunk...I don't like her sober". When a person drinks they say whatever and while part of it may be true most of it is crap. They say true feelings come out when you're drunk. That's bull$hit. All that comes out is words from a drunk person's mouth. Sure some of it may be true but the bulk of it is just BS. Here is another thing to think about...what kind of friend is she if, when you needed her support during your grief, she can't keep her head clear? What kind of support did she offer? Easy sex? Because you could get that from just about any drunk girl, ya know? You probably needed to talk. She wasn't available. I'm sorry for your loss. XO Link to post Share on other sites
msjules Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 My ex-boyfriend spent the better part of December drunk on his @$$ and he was drunk calling and texting me almost every night. We never got together, but he was jealous when I spent time with my male friends. He was telling me he loved me and was wanting to talk about our sexual past, and I thought it meant something. When he sobered up after the holidays, I realized it was was just a drunk guy saying a bunch of bullsh**. He said he was drinking in order to "work out his feelings" but he didn't want to get back together. I wouldn't put a lot into what she's doing. Link to post Share on other sites
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