Long Distance Relationship Query

[J]

I just started dating someone who lives out of state.

 

What do I need to do to make this successful? Are there any websites that might address Long Distance Relationships?

 

J

[Thomas]

There is no such thing as a long distance mutually satisfying, emotionally fulfilling, healthy long distance relationship.

 

Many people have met on the Internet and sustained nice online or even telephonic friendships for a period of time. Unless both parties are highly unique, unless there is a personal meeting a some point, these will flicker out. At best you could describe them as online temporary acquaintanceships. If they seem intimate, it is only because of the same imaginings that come into play when you cry at a sad movie or television show.

 

There absolutely must be some personal interplay for any chemistry to be detected. Then there must be an in-person courtship.

 

People who sustain long term relationships with those who are geographically undesireable without meeting them in person do it for a number of reasons including a fear of intimate relationships, shame over their physical appearance, to fear their boyfriends, wives or husbands will find out.

 

There is nothing in the world that substitutes for an in-the-flesh courtship where you can observe face and body language, reaction to different situations, and all other facets of a person's behavior.

 

Long distance relationships can be OK but I promise if they go on for long one or both of the parties will meet someone in person they enjoy and go for it.

 

There are many sites on the web that talk about online relationships. Just use a search engine to find them. And best of luck to you!!!

[J]

Thank you for your input and quick response.

 

Here are the details. I met him through a friend of a friend. (He had seen my picture a couple months beforehand) We hadn't met in person, but I detected chemistry on the phone when talking. I was brave enough to ask point blank whether there was any interest in me. After establishing that, we ended up talking for a couple hours each night (and still do every night). Until finally, we traded pictures over the internet.

 

After a couple weeks of this, he came to visit me. We had a good time, not the greatest, and remained in contact with each other. Two weekends later, I went to visit him. We felt much more comfortable with each other the second time around. I can't wait to see him again! Now I'm going back to visit him next weekend for a week. He lives over 1000miles away. ...

 

How long can something like this go on?

 

I am inquiring into possible employment in his state.

 

J

[Thomas]

How long can something like this go on?

 

I am inquiring into possible employment in his state.

 

J

 

It can go on as long as the both of you have money to travel to see each other. But, as I stated, unless the two of you live in the same city, it cannot work over the long haul.

 

I think you have to have incredibly powerful feelings to move to be with someone like this. Telephone chemistry and once every few weeks chemistry is simply not the same as being in the same city and seeing each other often chemistry.

 

But it sounds like you absolutely must find out. Do so while you are young! Find a job in his city and move. Be sure you save enough money to return...just in case. Good luck!!!