Lost in SoCal

[imagine]

I don't think that California will give you a big break.

 

Is there anybody here who can give info what is likely to happen to a walk away wife?

 

StartingOver - what is your present height and weight right now?

[imagine]

I don't think that California will give you a big break.

 

Is there anybody here who can give info what is likely to happen to a walk away wife?

 

StartingOver - what is your present height and weight right now?

[StartingOver101]

there is a no fault law in california if that is what you are referring too. we have been married for 19 years so she gets half of mine and I hers ... she has most of everything since we have been putting 24% monthly into her 401k and none into mine etc.

 

I am 5'8" and weigh 153 at the moment. I was around 210lbs this time last year

[TrustInYourself]

Well, working out harder and more frequently will give you peace of mind. You are showing physical signs of severe mental stress. You're going to have to let some of that go. Face it and deal with it. Acceptance is the first step to recovery.

 

That's hard because right now you feel like you have no choices or no control. That's a misconception. You have all the power to change this situation for the better. You're just taking all the wrong steps.

[Gunny376]

Well SO101 I think your doing the best you can under the circumstances.

 

And the advice that we give is of the take it or leave it kind? If it fits your situation then use it, if not let it go. Every one's situation is the same but they're all uniquely different at the same time.

 

And it wasn't just 2009 Men's Health article of such, its also the Feb 2006 edition of National Geographic, and a book titled "Brain Sex".

 

In the 2006 edition of National Geographic, they show the brain scans of people who suffer from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and they're almost identical as those who are "in love" but the article goes on to say that it doesn't last forever and eventually wears off.

 

If your not sleeping through the night your simply aren't getting enough anaerobic exercise, (oxygen depleting) if your doing the tread mill, and aerobics your actually pumping oxygen into your system, and you need to do more anaerobic exercise (oxygen depleting) such as pump iron and the weight machines. An hour to hour and half 5X's a week. You want to make that you do this at the beginning of your day, and not the end.

 

Action precedes "want" and so your probably are going to have to "make yourself go" for at least the first thirty to sixty days before you "feel like it. After that you won't feel right in not going.

 

You want to completely darken out out sleeping quarters to include "duck taping" and LEDs on the alarm clocks, re-chargers, fans etc. You want to achieve zero light sources to the point to where you can't even see you hand in your face.

 

You might want to invest in some fans, as in more than one. You want your sleeping quarters cool (not cold) and now would to be the time to invest in extra comfy bed liners, comforters, sheets, pillows.

 

You also might want to pick up some melatonin. Its what our bodies naturally produce to regulate our sleep pattern/biological clock. But as we age it produces less and less.

 

Its non-prescription, over-the-counter, non-addictive, and can be found in the vitamin and herbal section of most drug stores. Its light sensitive which is reason you need to blacken out out sleeping area, to include LED's.

 

It comes in 3mmg (micromilligrams), 3 milligrams, and 5 milligrams. Its height/weight sensitive, so you will have to play around with it to find out which dosage works for you. I'm 6'1" 200 lbs and take one 5mg a half hour before going to bed. I have taken as much as 15 mg, but it makes me sluggish the next morning for about a half hour to 45 minutes. (I usually on do that if I'm off the next day with nothing to do, and plan on sleeping in)

 

About a half hour after taking it your eyes will begin to "water" and you'll start yawning. It helps a lot in quieting your thoughts about the spouse, work, the children.

 

It doesn't knock you out, and if you need to get up to tend to a child or something else, ~ you will wake up but you can then go back to bed and get a good night's sleep.

 

As far as the weight loss goes, change up from eating "three square meals" a day try eating eight or nine smaller "snacks-meals" concentrating on fresh fruit and vegetables, some protein, and carbs. (Potatoes, rice, pasta, etc) That is to say eating more often but smaller rations during each "meal" ~ in otherwise your getting the same calorie intake ~ but over the course of "more" meals over the course of 24 hour period.

 

The carbs diet will boost your energy and strength ~ your simply aren't getting enough carbs into your diet. You need to eat pasta, potatoes, spaghetti, lasagna, etc.

 

Whenever we had a big exercise that was physically demanding or PT (Physical Training ~ six mile run, force march, ~ LOL ~ "death-march) session coming up in the Marines we always use to "carb-up" the day before. That is to say we ate potato salad, macaroni salad, baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, scalloped potatoes, au gratin potatoes, french fries, hash browns, spaghetti, lasagna, tuna casserole.)

 

If you increase your "carbs" you will find your "energy level" picking up over time, as well as your weight!

 

Now its true if you "carb-out" without exercsing those carbs are going to turn to sugar, which is going to turn to stored fat, but if you're burning them before they turn to sugar ~ fat ~ its not a problem , and is burned as energy!

 

Which is why Michael Phelps was consuming a 2600 a day calorie diet but was as slim and slender as he was during the Olympics. Most combat deployable Marines and soliders are on a 2400 calorie diet.

 

Three MRE's a day contain that amount of calories. If you eat that and nothing but that for a year or more your going to end up looking like a beach ball without some serious PT (Physical Training) , but if you eat that many calories and do what they do each day? Its not going to be a problem.

[newscs]

So sorry to hear your story. My heart goes out to you. I would have to agree with everyone elses assessment. She has or is cheating. I just cheated on my husband and I am not proud. Only I did it to get back at him for hurting me (see my post). I know its a lame excuse but at the time that was my rationale. Anyway, about the meds. Unless you are a mentally unstable person go with out the meds. You can do it without the meds. I got through one of the most emotional plights in my life doing yoga. By exercising and meditation and or yoga you can recenter yourself. It really does wonders. Only yoga can cause emotions to surface so find a good yoga studio & teacher. I dont know where exactly you live but there are many in so cal.

 

peace.

[newscs]

So sorry to hear your story. I just cheated on my husband and I am not proud. Only I did it to get back at him for hurting me (see my post). I know its a lame excuse but at the time that was my rationale. Anyway, about the meds. I got through one of the most emotional plights in my life doing yoga. By exercising and meditation and or yoga you can recenter yourself. It really does wonders. Only yoga can cause emotions to surface so be cognizant of that and find a good yoga studio & teacher. I dont know where exactly you live but there are many in so cal.

 

peace.

[Gunny376]

Melatonin isn't a "med" its a natural herbal supplement that our bodies naturally creates that is non-prescrition, non-addictive, that regulates our sleep patterns that I just took a half hour ago, and now going to get a good, solid, "yum-yum" nights sleep from!