Shyness and true self

[gopher]

I've been in sales since I was in my mid 20's and the last 12 years or so, I've been in a National management position. It's my job to work with customers and the sales team in all 50 states. Needless to say, I travel a lot and combine that with working from home, makes it hard to meet someone.

 

I've known for many years that, while I've been very successful in my career, that's it's out of my comfort zone. You don't have to be a fast talking used car salesman type to be successful doing what I do, in fact you'd most likely fail if you appraoched it that way. However, you do need to be fairly outgoing, extroverted and a good conversationalist, none of which come naturally to me, I am basically a shy, deep thinking, introverted, laid back home body with a very dry sense of humor.

 

So, I basically "fake it" when it comes to my job, I am outgoing, extroverted, funny and contantly trying to make small talk, all of which wears me out. By the time I get back home from a trip or to my hotel room at night, I am exhausted physically and mentally.

 

Unfortunately, In the past, I've always done this in relationships too...because I think my true self is boring and not that interesting, I've tended to be my professional self, especially when I first meet someone. Of course, I can only keep this up for so long before I am worn down, and the relationship peters out.

 

Honestly, this past week, I've reached my limit on being someone other than my true self. I need to find a career that is more in line with my personality, in order to retain my sanity. I've looked into free lance writing and am exploring other entrepenurial options. Just deciding that has been a relief for me.

 

The same holds true on the relational side....but, quiet and shy works much better for getting dates when you are 22 and kind of cute, than if you are 47 and not that cute anymore. Again, though, making that decision is a relief and whatever happens or doesn't happen in this area is fine. At least, I'll be real and true to who I am.