Author Lauriebell82 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 LB,I wonder how it would have been had you insisted he came to your parents? I would bet money that you would have argued and he would have still seen his friend. You don't know that. If I trusted him that little, I shouldn't be with him. He is not the manipulative liar that all of you are making him out to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 LB,I wonder how it would have been had you insisted he came to your parents? I would bet money that you would have argued and he would have still seen his friend. It seems that people all around you (your mum, his friend, your friends, 80% of us here) think that you deserve more - I wonder when you will realise this too? Did you ask me to type all that out, just so you could say it's all b.s.? Why did you even bother if you already had your mind made up? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Is that "resign" or is that "re-sign"? I gotta tell ya, when I hear one of those conversations coming on, I just go with my gut. If my gut says I'm being played, I go with that. I'm rarely wrong, rather stupid for not following my gut. I declined to take a phone call today based on that feeling and I was exactly right. The context is OT so I won't get into it, but the caller was/is another master at extraction (I call it this because of how one feels after the anesthetic wears off). When I was your age I believed all the BS women (and men) bamboozled me with, much to my detriment. I just laugh at them now and trust that inner compass. Life is short and people are a dime a dozen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 Okay, if you guys are so brilliant, what WOULD have been a solution to the issue or a "non b.s." conversation? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Did you ask me to type all that out, just so you could say it's all b.s.? Why did you even bother if you already had your mind made up? Ok LB, prove me wrong then. The next time he changes plans and you get mad, stick to your guns and see what happens! I HAVE already made my mind up about you two LB, based solely on what you type on here and nothing else. This man is not the guy for you IMO. I used to think he was and I used to think you had a good relationship, but I have changed my mind based on the fact that he plays you like a fiddle and does just what he wants, when he wants! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 LB,I wonder how it would have been had you insisted he came to your parents? I would bet money that you would have argued and he would have still seen his friend. It seems that people all around you (your mum, his friend, your friends, 80% of us here) think that you deserve more - I wonder when you will realise this too? Actually we were going to go see my parents earlier for brunch, but my mom said that she had a doctor's appointment. So he even offered to do that, and we had it all set up. Was that just a game too? Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Okay, if you guys are so brilliant, what WOULD have been a solution to the issue or a "non b.s." conversation? I think that when his friend called he should have told him he had plans already but could see him another day! That is what you would have done if you had plans with him and your friend asked to see you that day wouldnt you? This should have been a non issue! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I thought it was a decent convo and solution, I guess that's why I was a little confused by everyone's reaction. My one friend (who is dating his friend casually) told me that his friend thinks I should resign the lease. Not sure what that means though... Did he mean give up the lease? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 He told his friend that he would talk to me about it, but didn't tell him that he was breaking his plans with me. (I got upset the night before before he could tell me that). So he told me the whole conversation and said that he did want to watch the game with his friend, however he would go to my parents bc he had already agreed and he knew it meant a lot to me. I don't believe him for a second. You got upset the night before because you thought he was breaking plans with you. He obviously knew that's why you were upset. Why else would you be upset? He backpeddled only after thinking about it some, realizing he was in the wrong. There was no "good conversation" or compromise here. Just a band-aid on his very poor choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Actually we were going to go see my parents earlier for brunch, but my mom said that she had a doctor's appointment. So he even offered to do that, and we had it all set up. Was that just a game too? He plays you LB, he gets what he wants and you get what he wants too! Are you happy with that? Do you think it will change once you marry him? Have kids? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lauriebell82 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 Did he mean give up the lease? No "re-sign." Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 My one friend (who is dating his friend casually) told me that his friend thinks I should resign the lease. Not sure what that means though... Carhill, she means "re-sign" (she and I already talked about this). It means that he wants more free milk, LB. Until he decides if this is the cow he wants. Without a guaranteed future (lease period) to keep thinking about it, he's afraid he'll have to sh*t or get off the pot...neither of which he wants to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Why should he get married when he can just do what he wants and she will put up with it? Whatever she gets upset over, gets resolved and he always gets it his way, that will not be changing any day soon - It seems he is training you to be the perfect wife and forgetting that he is far from perfect! LB is a good girl, she deserves so much more! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 He plays you LB, he gets what he wants and you get what he wants too! He worked that conversation pretty good, I tell ya. He always gets HIS way, and convinces LB that it's what she wanted too. I wonder if he could teach me some of his skills... Link to post Share on other sites
MindoverMatter Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Are you thinking about re-signing the lease? Back in the days you once said, that you didn't want to end up like one of those women, who spend year after year in a relationship without getting a proposal, stuck in a rut, patiently awaiting a ring and a promise. And I never thought that I would say it, but, you are on your way of becoming just that. A woman who readjusts her own opinion, her wishes, her reality to what makes the relationship go on. Afraid of what might happen if they ever stood their ground. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 LB is a good girl, she deserves so much more! We all agree on that one. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Are you thinking about re-signing the lease? Back in the days you once said, that you didn't want to end up like one of those women, who spend year after year in a relationship without getting a proposal, stuck in a rut, patiently awaiting a ring and a promise. And I never thought that I would say it, but, you are on your way of becoming just that. A woman who readjusts her own opinion, her wishes, her reality to what makes the relationship go on. Afraid of what might happen if they ever stood their ground. Couldn't have said it better myself. She's also going to readjust her position about the "waiting 3 months" issue. Nothing will change, no improvements will have been made... and yet, she will re-sign that lease. She'll do the same thing next year, without a ring. And the next year. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I do not think I have ever read a thread by LB where she is angry over something and it is not resolved in her bf's favour I agree with you SG, on everything you have said (thats a first eh lol) and I would like to hope that LB could calm down and realise that we are not saying to get out now, just to open her eyes and see the woods through the trees! To make choices based on facts and not her fairytale! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Well, let's look on the brightside... LB is young. So even if it takes her a lot longer to realize that this relationship isn't going to make her happy, she'll have plenty of time afterward to find someone who can. (I know I'm talking out of my a$$ here, I'm just trying to look at the positive!) Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I do not think I have ever read a thread by LB where she is angry over something and it is not resolved in her bf's favour I agree with you SG, on everything you have said (thats a first eh lol) and I would like to hope that LB could calm down and realise that we are not saying to get out now, just to open her eyes and see the woods through the trees! To make choices based on facts and not her fairytale! Lord knows I wish I had listened to YOU last year! Argh. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Lord knows I wish I had listened to YOU last year! Argh. WOW!!! Words I never thought I would hear lol - Amazing when you meet the right one isnt it? Makes you see the past mistakes so clearly! It is always easier to find a solution and see things for as they are when you are not emotionally involved, I hope that one day LB realises this. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I don't know I guess I just thought that at LS there is no limit on how much you can post about a relationship. Really, if everyone is sick of hearing about my troubles I'm unsure why my threads get so big. If you are sick of hearing it, then why respond? Seriously... Of course there is no limit about posting LB- and don't stop posting, that is what this forum is here for. If people didn't give a crap, you wouldn't get replies at all. I think people react in certain ways because they DO care about your well being- and sometimes people on the outside can give you a perspective you might not be seeing because you are too close to the situation. It's just sometimes I read your posts and I just feel you're compromising too much. That makes me upset on your behalf. But ultimately, none of us have to live in your shoes. People DO want to see you happy- and have the best relationship possible. You deserve it- you really do. I guess the big question is- are you truly happy being where you are with this guy right now. Can you see the capacity for change and growth in the relationship? People do want to see you happy - there wouldn't be so much strife and differing opinions being posted on your thread if people didn't want to help. Don't stop posting. When are you going to Vegas? D Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Slightly offtopic: Is this the thread you refer to? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t138279/ Oh man, that was an awesome thread to look back on and see how painfully right I was, and how painfully, painfully wrong "some others" were. "Will you invite me to your wedding, Star?" "Maybe it shows that I'm very good at recognizing the signs of a good man. Of a good relationship. / Are you? / I'm seeing those same signs, from what Star has told us, in HER guy. She's got a rare guy here. I can tell." "I'm sure Star will dump this gem of a guy tomorrow!" Gem of a guy xD hilarious stuff! Ontopic: I'm going to have to agree with Shadowplay in that I used to cheer for this relationship, but I can see that he's a real dickhead now. I still think there's a chance you could work, but it will take a lot of change from HIM, which I doubt he's capable of at this still-immature point in his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Oh man, that was an awesome thread to look back on and see how painfully right I was, and how painfully, painfully wrong "some others" were. You actually find it AWESOME to see the pain I experienced? Link to post Share on other sites
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 You actually find it AWESOME to see the pain I experienced? Not at all! But I'd like to think that being forced to listen to our negativity/realism at least helped prepare you somewhat for the inevitable. It sucks what you went through, but you came out a better person in the end, didn't you? I can only hope the same for LB. Link to post Share on other sites
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