Must be well educated?

[Star Gazer]

SG are you confusing education with intelligence?

 

Not at all. Education is a VALUE. Intelligence is a TRAIT.

 

A college education does a lot more than literally educate someone until they're intelligent. It also opens their eyes to different experiences and perspectives. It creates an open, curious mind. It also causes one to learn how to balance one's social life with other responsibilities (classes/deadlines vs. relationships).

 

A desire to attend college/become educated is a VALUE of desiring to GAIN intelligence and experience and an open mind...regardless if it's forthcoming or not.

 

I greatly value the college experience on the whole. I will only date those who share that same value. It's really not worth arguing about.

[wuggle]

It's really not worth arguing about.

 

Of course it is, that's one of the reasons were all on this site.

 

A college education does a lot more than literally educate someone until they're intelligent. It also opens their eyes to different experiences and perspectives. It creates an open, curious mind. It also causes one to learn how to balance one's social life with other responsibilities (classes/deadlines vs. relationships).

 

Wow, I never realised that the American education system was so much better than everyone else's - fair play.

 

Education is a VALUE

 

Disagree, IMO education is simply a series of events, I accept that the ultimate aim of education is to enhance intelligence but so often this doesn't suceed. Some of the most stupid people I have met have had a good education.

 

I will only date those who share that same value.

 

I know many intelligent people who are not well educated. If you are only going to date people who have been educated to a similar level as yourself, you may be stifling your own growth by not allowing yourself to have relationships with very intelligent people.

 

I never went to college, does it show

[Weird]

I'd think actual intelligence/logic is more important than being well educated. As the OP stated, I know people who went to university and are pretty dumb. On the flip side, I started to go to university and left early on because I didn't feel it was worth my time and went into the working world. The "well educated" crowd would assume the university person must be smarter than me or know more than me but reality often says otherwise. In fact, I only know of one person in my life (happens to be my brother) who finished university and who is more intelligent than me...the rest aren't. Not trying to be cocky or anything with that but just merely stating the truth.

 

So to me, being "well educated"/finishing university is not that big a deal if the person actually shows signs of intelligence. Hell, most people who finish college made getting wasted and trying to hump as many people as possible their priority and had crappy grades to boot...how is that something to be impressed with or require from a person?

[Star Gazer]

Wow, I never realised that the American education system was so much better than everyone else's - fair play.

 

What gave you the impression that's what I was implying?

 

Disagree, IMO education is simply a series of events, I accept that the ultimate aim of education is to enhance intelligence but so often this doesn't suceed. Some of the most stupid people I have met have had a good education.

 

Again, I agree that sometimes the goal of an education isn't met. But that doesn't lessen the value - in my eyes - of seeking an education.

 

I know many intelligent people who are not well educated. If you are only going to date people who have been educated to a similar level as yourself, you may be stifling your own growth by not allowing yourself to have relationships with very intelligent people.

 

AGAIN, I never said people who aren't college educated aren't intelligent. However, I will never again date someone who doesn't value the same things I do. A college education is one of those things.

 

I never went to college, does it show

 

Yes, because only people who didn't go to college are the only ones who get defensive about this...and in the same vein, in my experience, it is only those who didn't go to college "don't get" why it's so important to those of us that did.

 

I'd think actual intelligence/logic is more important than being well educated.

 

I don't disagree with you, but again, that's not the point of the OP's question. I value both equally.

[wuggle]

Yes, because only people who didn't go to college are the only ones who get defensive about this...and in the same vein, in my experience, it is only those who didn't go to college "don't get" why it's so important to those of us that did.

 

You were supposed to be gracious and say "No".

 

Trust me I am not defensive on the issue of the need for education, I am a big fan. The distinction that is the core concern of this thread IMO is that of education Vs intelligence. The only reason I posted here was that you seemed to be getting the two confused . If you are happy believing that "education is a value" rather than "Intelligence is a value" then I will leave you with this (IMO Mistaken) notion and we will disgaree.

 

I sincerely hope though that you don't place limits on your life by only dating people that are "Educated" - It would be a shame to deny some truly intelligent person the delight of getting to know you and vice-versa.

 

take care.

[Star Gazer]

The distinction that is the core concern of this thread IMO is that of education Vs intelligence.

 

I never said education was more important than intelligence. For the third time, I find them equally important. While I will only date educated men, I certainly won't date an unintelligent man simply because he has a diploma.

 

I sincerely hope though that you don't place limits on your life by only dating people that are "Educated".

 

Well, I have... and I will continue to do so. I'm sorry if that offends you or anyone else, but it's a value I hold. We all have our own sets of values, don't begrduge me mine and I won't begrduge you yours.

[anne1707]

I certainly won't date an unintelligent man simply because he has a diploma.

.

 

But would you date an intelligent man who has not got a diploma?

[Star Gazer]

But would you date an intelligent man who has not got a diploma?

 

No, I would not.

 

Again, I value the very process of seeking an education just as much as I do simply being intelligent. They must have both. If someone does not value the process of seeking an education, then he and I are simply incompatible.

 

And I'd like to add that my dating pool has never been diminished because of this.

 

Education to me is very similar to faith for many others. If someone is a devout Christian, would you begrudge them for not wanting to date someone who has no faith in God, despite the fact they're a very nice, wonderful person?

[wuggle]

Stargazer, I would fight to the death for your right to place limits on your life, but your really can't be too annoyed if I get a little upset, I hate seeing wasted potential, it saddens me, whether this is caused by educational or religous bigotry.

 

Hopefully you will one day meet an intelligent, uneducated Athiest and fall madly in love with them.

[anne1707]

Do you not realise that there are many who are intelligent who cannot get the education you see as so important through no fault of their own or because of their personal circumstances when those opportunities might be available? Or choose not to to take a formal education because they see that as not appropriate to their style of learning? Are you just dismissing these people automatically as not good enough for you?

[Star Gazer]

Stargazer, I would fight to the death for your right to place limits on your life, but your really can't be too annoyed if I get a little upset, I hate seeing wasted potential, it saddens me, whether this is caused by educational or religous bigotry.

 

What potential has been wasted? Nearly every person I interact with on a daily basis is college educated...literally, right down to the people who make my coffee at Starbucks. I have more in common with the barista who leaves work wearing her Cal sweatshirt than I do with an "intelligent" person who's never stepped foot into a college classroom.

 

And I am no bigot. That's ridiculously insulting.

 

Do you not realise that there are many who are intelligent who cannot get the education you see as so important through no fault of their own or because of their personal circumstances when those opportunities might be available?

 

Who? You want to talk about "personal circumstances" as being a reason to not seek a college education? I call b.s. on that, but let's talk about my personal circumstances, then. I was raised dirt poor by a single mother, and found myself contributing MY income from the age of 15 to help her and my grandmother make ends me. I still put myself through school. As far as I'm concerned, once you're college aged (ADULT), there are simply no excuses to not seeking a college education.

 

I don't seek a Harvard grad, for chissakes.

[ColorCube]

No, I would not.

 

How would you feel if a man you wanted to date told you that your education wasn't of the caliber he was looking for, since he is a Harvard grad and you are not ( I'm just guessing you are not highly educated ).

 

Even though you hold a degree the fact you hold it really means nothing about intelligence.

 

I know people with masters that are just as dumb as a box of hammers, but they hold a great degree.

 

Have you never dated a man that wasn't college educated?

[Star Gazer]

Are you just dismissing these people automatically as not good enough for you?

 

Why are you trying to make ME out to be a bad guy?

 

Why are you trying to convince me to date someone who does not VALUE the same things I do?

 

You have a cute kitty in your picture. You clearly value animals, or at least, cats. Would you date someone who hunted cats? Probably not, and I'd never begrudge you that, saying, "What, is the nice guy who's got all these wonderful qualities "not good enough for you" (snide voice) simply because he doesn't value the same things as you?" Snicker, snicker...walk away.

[Star Gazer]

How would you feel if a man you wanted to date told you that your education wasn't of the caliber he was looking for, since he is a Harvard grad and you are not ( I'm just guessing you are not highly educated ).

 

"Just guessing"? Nice ATTEMPTED dig. What's your beef with me? Lose it, will you?

 

That said, yes, I AM highly educated (Master's and J.D.), but not at Harvard. However, if someone wanted to date someone who had reached that caliber, then fine. That's their value, their choice. It says nothing about my worth, just that our values aren't compatible.

 

Even though you hold a degree the fact you hold it really means nothing about intelligence.

 

And you obviously cannot read, because I've said just that about four times in this thread alone.

 

Have you never dated a man that wasn't college educated?

 

Read above. I will never do it AGAIN. Thus, I have in the past.

 

Logic - that's taught in college as well.

[ColorCube]

As far as I'm concerned, once you're college aged (ADULT), there are simply no excuses to not seeking a college education.

 

Actually there are, Many entrepreneurs don't have degrees. They have what it takes to create a business and make it successful , Bill Gates comes to mind.

Not everyone makes education a priority, sometimes they make success a higher one.

[ColorCube]

"Just guessing"? Nice ATTEMPTED dig. What's your beef with me? Lose it, will you?

 

No dig was intended, I was just stating a fact that I felt relevant to my question.

 

Thanks for answering the question though.

[Star Gazer]

Actually there are, Many entrepreneurs don't have degrees. They have what it takes to create a business and make it successful , Bill Gates comes to mind.

 

I realize plenty of people don't have degrees. However, you haven't addressed Anne's perspective that circumstances somehow prevent people from getting a college education. As far as I'm concerned, you can always go to college. Nothing is stopping you.

 

Not everyone makes education a priority, sometimes they make success a higher one.

 

Precisely. However, the examples you posted above are the very, very rare exception to the rule. Someone who chooses financial success in short term (because for anyone other than Bill Gates, it's short term) over seeking an education is not someone who I am compatible with. This is MY preferance. I will always prefer someone who seeks an education over someone who sought merely to put money in the bank. It's a difference in VALUES.

[ColorCube]

As far as I'm concerned, you can always go to college. Nothing is stopping you.

 

That is so true Star, my Mother went back in her late 50's to get her degree that she didn't get a chance to finish since she was busy raising 3 kids.

 

By the way, I do think compatibility can come in the type of education some may have and don't think you are making any mistakes by having standards.

 

Just remember that when we set those standards we also remove many possibilities, good and bad ones from our pool of resources.

[wuggle]

Stargazer, I am intelligent enough to realise that you hold a different opinion from mine, it is 1.20 am and I am going to bed. Good night, sleep well.

 

 

ps please keep arguing with colourcube I will catch up tomorrow.

[Star Gazer]

That is so true Star, my Mother went back in her late 50's to get her degree that she didn't get a chance to finish since she was busy raising 3 kids.

 

My mother did the same thing. She started when I was 5, and it took her until I was in high school to finish - but she did it, and with a near 4.0. I graduated college 3 years after she did. If she could do it given our circumstances, I knew anyone could. It's a VERY IMPORTANT value for me, one that I will NOT compromise.

 

Just remember that when we set those standards we also remove many possibilities, good and bad ones from our pool of resources.

 

I realize that, but I think it's well worth removing a small handful of people from my dating pool. Besides, it's never really been a problem for me. Other than ONE person (a rekindled high school sweetheart), I've never met anyone I've been interested in (without knowing their educational history) who didn't turn out to have a college education.

[anne1707]

What potential has been wasted? Nearly every person I interact with on a daily basis is college educated...literally, right down to the people who make my coffee at Starbucks. I have more in common with the barista who leaves work wearing her Cal sweatshirt than I do with an "intelligent" person who's never stepped foot into a college classroom.

.

 

So much for the college education then if serving coffee in Starbucks as opposed to getting a career.

 

 

And I am no bigot. That's ridiculously insulting.

.

 

Youi say you see intelligence and education as equally important but then say you will date some one who is educated but will not date some one who is intelligent (and not formally educated).

 

 

As far as I'm concerned, once you're college aged (ADULT), there are simply no excuses to not seeking a college education.

.

 

You managed it under your circumstanes. Good for you. But it is not possible for everybody and through no fault of their own.

 

 

Why are you trying to make ME out to be a bad guy?

 

Why are you trying to convince me to date someone who does not VALUE the same things I do?

 

Not trying to make you out as the bad guy at all. There is no need to be so defensive. And just because someone has not had a formal education, does not mean they do not value that. Any intelligent person would want to gain further knowledge and see education as a potential route for development.

 

I realize plenty of people don't have degrees. However, you haven't addressed Anne's perspective that circumstances somehow prevent people from getting a college education. As far as I'm concerned, you can always go to college. Nothing is stopping you.

 

Stargazer - there are people I know who wanted a college education and were more than capable but it just was not possible. One of these is possibly the most intelligent person I know.

[Storyrider]

So much for the college education then if serving coffee in Starbucks as opposed to getting a career.

 

 

 

 

Youi say you see intelligence and education as equally important but then say you will date some one who is educated but will not date some one who is intelligent (and not formally educated).

 

 

 

 

You managed it under your circumstanes. Good for you. But it is not possible for everybody and through no fault of their own.

 

 

 

 

Not trying to make you out as the bad guy at all. There is no need to be so defensive. And just because someone has not had a formal education, does not mean they do not value that. Any intelligent person would want to gain further knowledge and see education as a potential route for development.

 

 

 

Stargazer - there are people I know who wanted a college education and were more than capable but it just was not possible. One of these is possibly the most intelligent person I know.

This is handled differently in the UK than the US. We don't get stuck in a college track or non-college track early on, as you do in the UK. Anyone who has a HS education and the money can go to college here, as most community colleges are open-admission.

[wuggle]

Does that mean we are cleverer in the UK ?

 

(sorry off to bed now honest !)

[Star Gazer]

You say you see intelligence and education as equally important but then say you will date some one who is educated but will not date some one who is intelligent (and not formally educated).

 

That is NOT AT ALL what I said. I said I would not date someone who IS educated but NOT intelligent. I also said I wouldn't date someone who's not college educated, but intelligent. I also very clearly said they must be BOTH educated and intelligent. I value them equally.

 

You managed it under your circumstanes. Good for you. But it is not possible for everybody and through no fault of their own.

 

Stargazer - there are people I know who wanted a college education and were more than capable but it just was not possible. One of these is possibly the most intelligent person I know.

 

I still call B.S. on this. I did it. My mom did it at 40. ColorCube's mom did it at 50. There's NEVER an excuse or reason to not pursue a college education. All it takes is one class at a time. So please don't play the pity card on that one.

 

Storyrider]This is handled differently in the UK than the US. We don't get stuck in a college track or non-college track early on, as you do in the UK. Anyone who has a HS education and the money can go to college here, as most community colleges are open-admission.

 

Precisely. No excuses.

[Storyrider]

I still call B.S. on this. I did it. My mom did it at 40. ColorCube's mom did it at 50. There's NEVER an excuse or reason to not pursue a college education. All it takes is one class at a time. So please don't play the pity card on that one.

 

Not sure this is available in the UK system, Star. That might be part of the disconnect here.