shorty19632003 Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Hello everyone, I need to talk to someone here that might understand what i am going through with a male married male friend of mine. I am a single female and i have become friends with a guy friend for about 4 months now.When i first noticed him i didn't realize he was married, he didn't wear a ring and i just thought he was single.Well we became to know each other well and i was becoming interested and attracted to him. I thought he was so goodlooking and i would watch him alot and there was alot of eye contact between me and him.Well about a month into knowing him we got to know each other pretty well and then one day he mentioned he was married with 2 kids (11 & 12).He showed me pictures of his kids and i showed him pictures of my kids (24 & 26).I was so shocked that he was married with kids and he knew it.So the day he told me that he was married with kids, he came up to me and he put his arm around me and started massaging my shoulder and neck.Well as the days went by we would still talk about things going on in our lives and i have learned that we have alot of things in common, we enjoy the same things in life.He mentioned to me several times that him and his wife just don't get along well at all and he is not happy in his marriage. He has been married for 15 years.He said they seperated for 2 years and he said that his wife makes enough money to support herself and thier kids. He could make it on his own if he had to.He has mentioned to me that they only have sex once a month or once every six months.When he said that i begin to wonder about him.Is he trying to have to have a fling or affair with me or is he just being friends ? I am so confused about him.I don't want to lose him as a friend.We just have become close friends. I am attracted to him and he is attracted to me too, i just have that feeling in my gut. I don't want to come between his family at all. What do you think is going on here with him ? Thanks so much !! Link to post Share on other sites
avasmomman06 Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Your situation sounds similar to mine, a few threads down from yours. It sounds like he's wanting to pursue an affair with you though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shorty19632003 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 Hello, I read your thread and your situation is alot like mine. Very interesting reading it. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I see no similarity whatsoever. Avasmomma is in a platonic relationship that used to be sexual. she's being used as a prop-buddy and a boredom reliever by a guy who's not as into his wife as he should be. Avasmomma has no intention whatsoever of getting sexual with her friend, again. (AFAIK)...... Shorty is in a relationship that unless she moves away from, with ruddy great big, huge - enormous - strides, is going to end up in a full-blown physical sexual affair and ruin so many lives you won't know what hit you. Never believe a guy when he puts his wife down this way. Take it with a pinch of salt. He paints his wife in a bad light to get the sympathy vote from you. He is ever-so-gently steering you towards an affair. He has sex on his mind, and he has sex with you on his mind. He's looking for an OW. You're prime meat for a candidate. Link to post Share on other sites
nittanylion Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 He wants to have friend with benefits. He is not looking for relationship with you, and if he is, he becomes a cheating husband. Do you want this to happen to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Ramrod Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I vote affair too. Don't go there. P.S. He sounds sleazy and creepy to me too. They say it takes one to know one. Well, my psychic radar tells me the guy is bad news. I should know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shorty19632003 Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 Why do you think he sounds creepy, sleazy ? He is a guy that has feelings too. What if he is not happy in his marriage and wants to talk to me about his problems ? Everyone needs someone to talk to about things going on in thier lives. I know i do. I do talk to him about things going on in my life. He is very understanding and supportive.I will continue to talk to him. If it does cross the lines then i will discuss whats going on with him. I am not going to walk away from him just because he talks to me. I don't mean to sound mean, thats just the way i feel. I am NOT going to be the OW.If he wants me then he needs to be seperated from his wife then we will go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Why do you think he sounds creepy, sleazy ? He is a guy that has feelings too. What if he is not happy in his marriage and wants to talk to me about his problems ? Everyone needs someone to talk to about things going on in thier lives. I know i do. I do talk to him about things going on in my life. He is very understanding and supportive.I will continue to talk to him. If it does cross the lines then i will discuss whats going on with him. I am not going to walk away from him just because he talks to me. I don't mean to sound mean, thats just the way i feel. I am NOT going to be the OW.If he wants me then he needs to be seperated from his wife then we will go from there. Oh dear the voice of the naïve.... If he was as unhappy as he says he is, the first person he should be talking to is his wife, and then a counsellor. He's shying away from that, because it's so much nicer to talk to a receptive, desirable, prime young lady with whom it would also be rather good to have sex. Trust us, we've seen this so many times before on here, it's kinda like a stuck record. I'm glad you are continuing to talk to him. Because I guarantee it, in a week you'll either be back saying that - "OMG! You guys were right! The sleazeball came onto me and tried to kiss/grope/touch/poke/ penetrate me! I couldn't believe it!!" or - "OMG! We were just talking and then we made love! we couldn't help it, it just happened!" Look, ultimately, whatever you decide to do, is up to you. You run a thousand miles - your choice. You decide to leap into bed with him - your choice. But do this with your eyes open. Know that it happens. And it's happening to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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