chris250 Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Why take the risk of getting married when the divorce rate is high in the US? There's too much at stake. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Why take the risk of getting married when the divorce rate is high in the US? There's too much at stake. IMO the only reason to get married is to pro-created. otherwise there is no point. i mean there may be some legal positives but they are not that impt. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Man you always post such synical/depressing threads. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 most of the time, people get married because they're willing to take a leap into the unknown. Yeah, it's scary, but the idea of beating the odds is more thrilling than finding sasquatch AND getting him to pose for you seriously, people do it because they are cool with playing the long shot. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Hey, why get up in the morning since you know life is fatal, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris250 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 Hey, why get up in the morning since you know life is fatal, right? That's a bad analogy. You are comparing apples with oranges. Getting up in the morning and leaving my house is a necessary risk for survival. Eventually I would need to go the grocery store to buy food. You might argue that I could get someone else to do my groceries but there is no guarantee that somebody will always be here to do it for me and even if they were always here they would get tired of it. My survival does not depend on our willingness to risk getting married. That's the difference between taking the risk of getting married and taking the risk of leaving your house every morning. I take the risks in life that my very existence on this planet depends on. I take the risk of driving because it's the only way for me to get to work. If I lived in a big city where all my needs were in walking distance then I would see driving as an unnecessary risk. Now if you can show me evidence that my survival depends on my willingness to take risks with marriage then I may reconsider your analogy. Link to post Share on other sites
oceangrl Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 I've asked myself the same question...and I thought that the best way to avoid divorce is to never get married in the first place.. I guess you have to love the person enough to take that chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Crestfallen_KH Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Because most people are capable of hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Why take the risk of getting married when the divorce rate is high in the US? There's too much at stake. Why live when the risk of dying from cancer is so high? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 I guess some of us think the gamble is worth it. Anyway, it's not as big a gamble when you know the game. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Why live when the risk of dying from cancer is so high? this kind of reminds me of a conversation a friend and I had after Linda McCartney died of cancer. We were talking about what a beautiful marriage the McCartneys' had, and Paul must've been devastated to lose her like that when he expected to live a long, full life with her. Then my girlfriend asked, if you knew your spouse was going to die young (Linda was only in her early 50s), but you knew that your marriage would be a grand one full of love and passion and friendship, would you still get married? she said no, because the pain of loss would not be worth it. i said yes, because the pain that comes later is much worth the happiness you have in the meanwhile. I guess it all depends on whether you think the glass is half full or half empty... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 I think people should have to pass a psychological and polygraph examination for marriage. Part of the examination should include testing, in reference to core values, beliefs and most importantly, the raising of children. No couple should be allowed to get married, if they don't pass. They can co-habitate if they want. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Amen I would now engage in psychological-based PMC prior to any future marital consideration. TBF, and we covered this in MC, my wife and I likely would've passed the "tests". The incompatibility is at a more basic, instinctive psychological level. I would, without prejudice, likely not consider someone who admitted to (or demonstrated) a difficult childhood as a marital partner, unless psych work showed they had resolved those issues. OP, I was being sarcastic with my "fatalistic" commentary, but, think about the progression. When you get into your 50's and 60's and look back at your life, it will make more sense. IMO, seeing the positive aspects of all potentials leaves one to lead a happier, more fulfilling life. YMMV, of course Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 People still get married, because they don't believe divorce will happen to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris250 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Share Posted January 31, 2009 Actually it would be better for the economy not to get married. Weddings are too expensive. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Actually it would be better for the economy not to get married. Weddings are too expensive. How is it better for the economy NOT to get married? People spend money on flowers, clothes, etc. etc. Isn't that good for the economy? Anyway, you can always elope or have a very small wedding that cost very little like we did.Our wedding certainly didn't help the economy! Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Actually it would be better for the economy not to get married. Weddings are too expensive. Unless you are a photographer/caterer/cake maker/dress maker/hotelier/car hire company/florist/jeweller/honeymoon resort...... Link to post Share on other sites
Ramrod Posted January 31, 2009 Share Posted January 31, 2009 Wrong. Money spent on weddings support and stimulate the economy. Money stuffed inside of matresses or mason jars buried in the backyard slow and stall the economy. Get your facts str8 before you pontificate. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Reasons me and my boyfriend plan on getting married: - Love(the obvious one) - To announce to our friends and family that we are seriously committed and not just being "serial monogamists" - To show the other person that we are seriously committed by attaching ourselves to eachother legally - To ensure we both have extended medical coverage if one of us loses a job - To gain access to hospital room if one of us is in an accident - So that if we have problems, we are encouraged to remember how serious we are, stay and work things out, and not just easily leave a co-habitation arrangement - sick leave, bereavement leave, pension and retirement benefits, family health insurance plans - property/inheritance rights - If one of us dies while leasing, the lease is automatically given option to renew for the survivor - Easier to buy/rent a home together as we are considered "more responsible" and "settled down" - Easier to adopt animals as it is counted as "a more stable home" - statistically, married people are almost twice as happy as unmarried people - Also, we're sick of people asking "Oh, so are you still dating that guy/girl I met last summer?" as if our relationship may end at any moment just because we're "only dating" We do plan on going to marriage counselling so there are no sudden nasty surprises. I'm amazed more people DO NOT do this. Faith and love is one thing, but wouldn't you want to KNOW about "irreconcilable differences" before you legally bind yourself to someone? I adore TBF's suggestion! Also, for what it's worth, we don't plan on having kids. The idea that you would "get married to pro-create" is such a foreign concept to me. Sperm and eggs don't need a marriage license to get together, and the legal repercussions of HAVING kids with someone else effectively chains you to them in ways MUCH beyond marriage. I know some long term co-habiting couples with kids and I doubt their child could ever tell the difference between them and "married". It's one thing to look at the statistics and say, "Oh, well, there's a rising rate of divorce! Better not get married!" And quite another to make a mature, thought out commitment to another person. So many people get divorced now because there is little stigma to divorce. So when the going gets tough, they break up. I know some people who got married very young who even SAID, "Oh, well, if it doesn't work out, we can just get divorced!" Years ago, there was no encouragement to get divorced and couples would try and WORK THINGS OUT before even considering divorce. Marriage is hard, it's work. When it's happy it's great, but when it's crappy, you have to push through. There's a reason the vows say "for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health." I think too many people view those vows as just a traditional thing to say, and fail to see them as ACTUAL vows that you make to another person. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I think people should have to pass a psychological and polygraph examination for marriage. Part of the examination should include testing, in reference to core values, beliefs and most importantly, the raising of children. No couple should be allowed to get married, if they don't pass. They can co-habitate if they want. it's called "engaged encounter" (or for you older Cathliks, "pre-cana sessions") Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I think people should have to pass a psychological and polygraph examination for marriage. Part of the examination should include testing, in reference to core values, beliefs and most importantly, the raising of children. No couple should be allowed to get married, if they don't pass. They can co-habitate if they want. it's called "engaged encounter" (or for you older Cathliks, "pre-cana sessions") Man I wish there were more secular options like this. So many marriage counselors me and the bf have looked into are very religious. And apparently, "without god our marriage is destined to FAAAAIIIL!". I mean, I know religion is an important thing to work out for many people, and if you're getting married you want to be on the same page, but once me and the guy say "No, we're both atheists", I'm thinking that maybe moving on to the next question is better than trying to convert us on the spot. I have had counselors(admittedly, probably not very good ones) try to convince me to pray before, or accept faith in blah blah blah, and one of my dad's kooky counselor friends was a super wiccan, and she was INSISTENT that any problems I had would be solved by accepting the goddess into my heart during a knife/candle altar ceremony. LOL I hold out hope we can find a non-religiously based premarital counselor. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 try this, through the national healthy marriage resource center: marriage resources/nationally Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Why take the risk of getting married when the divorce rate is high in the US? There's too much at stake. I don't know. Even though I'll be moving in with my partner soon, I have already decided that I will not get married again. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 chris250 there is no reason for you to take a risk and get married. Stay single, you seem happy that way. Don't worry about why others decide to make a move that you view as a mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris250 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 chris250 there is no reason for you to take a risk and get married. Stay single, you seem happy that way. Don't worry about why others decide to make a move that you view as a mistake. I am not happy staying single. I am not happy this way. By the way you didn't answer my question. The subject of my thread isn't about whether or not I should worry about what others decide to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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