NC Day 26 - I am going to break it

[Zammo25]

Think nothing of it.

You need some rest.....

 

Take care, sleep well, and get a good night's kip.

 

O would like to apologise if Iupset anyone last night and in particular geishawhelk. I was out of order but her tough love was not something I wanted to here. I guess I am in denail / anger stage. It is possible I will have other days like yesterday but will try not to lash out to people trying to help and support me. I do not think we are all losers but sometimes if feels like it. My self espeem, self worth and self confidence is at an all time low as is on life support. I am not a bad looking man and I think I have some good qualities but I will not ever give my heart to anyone again. I fear I am going to become a bitter man and if I meet women will just use and abuse them. Sorry but thats how I feel. Twice I have had my heart trampled on and its not going to happen again. If I feel I am getting feelings for someone again I will walk away. I would rather be on my own for the rest of my life than ever go through this hell again.

[awesomeallalone]

i hear ya on the never falling for anyone ever again.... why would i want to put myself through this hell again.... i would not! i fear im turning into this bitter dont believe in love anymore woman i think its sad.... but for now thats how i feel and seriously im starting to doubt this whole "love" thing.

[msjules]

If I feel I am getting feelings for someone again I will walk away. I would rather be on my own for the rest of my life than ever go through this hell again.

Zammo, if you allow this to happen, then the person who hurt you will continue to have power over you and that is not good. I have been divorced twice (I walked away from both marriages) and was dumped 4 1/2 months ago by a man I loved more than either of my husbands and I loved them a LOT. I am also afraid to love again, but I plan to work on myself and get over this jerk of a man who really is not the person I thought he was. I want to love again someday and find someone who is more deserving of me.

 

It was very big of you to apologize and acknowledge your pain and anger. You seem like a quality person and my hope is that in time you will heal and be able to move on and love again. I am the the same age as you and it is never too late. Take care.

[Goatsbreath]

If I feel I am getting feelings for someone again I will walk away. I would rather be on my own for the rest of my life than ever go through this hell again.

 

Butters : I love life

Stan : Huh? But you just got dumped.

Butters : Well yea and I am sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something can make me feel that sad. It's like...it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. The only way i could feel this sad now, is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So what i guess im feeling is...like a beautiful sadness.

[Geishawhelk]

Zammo, I'm sorry if my approach was a bit like a bulldozer in a glassware shop, but sometimes, a swift kick gets the dander rising, and i think - although it was upsetting at the time, for you - it did a small bit of good.

It got you emotional.

 

Like it or not, we're all emotional people, and the fact that you can show emotion of this kind is comforting.

It shows without a shadow of a doubt that you still have a pulse.

 

Let me tell you why it's important to have a pulse.

 

You know in hospitals, those machines which monitor your heart-beat....?

The line goes up...... and then down...... and then up again...... and then down again....

Up and down, up and down, and the heart is still beating strongly.

 

Life's like that.

Up and down, up and down, but your heart still beats.

 

It's when the monitor - and your life - flat-lines - that you have a problem.

 

You have up and down days at the moment.

Days of clarity and realisation, days of deep despondency and despair.

 

Life's crap right now.

 

But look.

You are, at least, still here, after all these days.

 

You've had major trauma, and right now, you're struggling on a life-support machine.

 

But your heart is still beating, and you are feisty, angry, and downright bolshy.

 

Good.

 

That's just what your heart needs right now.

 

A bit of "Grrrrr!" a bit of "Aaaargggh!!" a bit of "F**k you!!"

 

It's time you were angry.

It's time you did kick some @$$.

It's high time you fought back.

 

Because if you don't, and remain in a state of doom & gloom, you'll head towards the downward spiral.

 

And flat-line.

 

Don't let yourself do that.

 

I'm glad, for one, that you got sufficiently mad to bark back.

[nature]

Geisha...your words immediately above are FANTASTIC!! I agree!! It is better to feel passionate, than to flatline in a state of numbness.

[Zammo25]

Zammo, I'm sorry if my approach was a bit like a bulldozer in a glassware shop, but sometimes, a swift kick gets the dander rising, and i think - although it was upsetting at the time, for you - it did a small bit of good.

It got you emotional.

 

Like it or not, we're all emotional people, and the fact that you can show emotion of this kind is comforting.

It shows without a shadow of a doubt that you still have a pulse.

 

Let me tell you why it's important to have a pulse.

 

You know in hospitals, those machines which monitor your heart-beat....?

The line goes up...... and then down...... and then up again...... and then down again....

Up and down, up and down, and the heart is still beating strongly.

 

Life's like that.

Up and down, up and down, but your heart still beats.

 

It's when the monitor - and your life - flat-lines - that you have a problem.

 

You have up and down days at the moment.

Days of clarity and realisation, days of deep despondency and despair.

 

Life's crap right now.

 

But look.

You are, at least, still here, after all these days.

 

You've had major trauma, and right now, you're struggling on a life-support machine.

 

But your heart is still beating, and you are feisty, angry, and downright bolshy.

 

Good.

 

That's just what your heart needs right now.

 

A bit of "Grrrrr!" a bit of "Aaaargggh!!" a bit of "F**k you!!"

 

It's time you were angry.

It's time you did kick some @$$.

It's high time you fought back.

 

Because if you don't, and remain in a state of doom & gloom, you'll head towards the downward spiral.

 

And flat-line.

 

Don't let yourself do that.

 

I'm glad, for one, that you got sufficiently mad to bark back.

 

Thats wonderful. I have not had a reply and in many ways do not want one as I have closure on it in my way and said all I had to.

 

A still have massive hole in my life and an endless emoty feeling. This week we had 5 inches of Snow which is unusual but it made me feel very alone. I walked my Dogs and saw familes and couple laughing and playing in the Snow and thought what fun I would have had with mx ex. Also valentine's day is going to be especially hard.

 

Everytime I walk into shops and see rows of valetines card I feel very sad and almost sick.

[LovieDove24]

Everyone says it will get better, you will find someone else blah blah blah, you have found someone better good for you but it aint going to happen to me. NC achieves NOTHING so what is the point of it all. I am going to send the letter, what the hell difference will it make, it breaks the sacred NC , whoopee do, if its over what the hell difference does it make anyway. Lets all pretend we are hard and don't give a damn. If you think I am ready for dating someone else after 4 weeks you must be haiving a laugh. Its an effort to have a shave in the mornings. I am glad you could move on and not give a toss after 4 weeks but I have taken it rather harder.

 

 

The people receiving the advice also always say they will never get over it sooo...cliches on both ends.

 

But truthfully life always goes on.