NC Day 26 - I am going to break it

[Zammo25]

Whether I think I'm better then you or not the advice stands for itself. And seriously I went over a year untill I found a new gf I just wasn't tortured the entire year because I did NC and I got over it. Seriously do what you want but you obviously wanted input and you would have realised not every one would agree with you letter. If you send the letter your kidding yourself if you think you won't be looking for a reply atleast for a little while. Dude why don't you just show up at her door and say or read the letter for her because that would be more final then what your planning to do because your just dragging it out

 

I apologise for taking it out on you but I want to go out into the street and punch everyone I see in the face. I am SERIOUSLY pissed off at the moment.

[EmperorR]

when I was going through these phases someone on here gave me this advice, create the letter put it in your drawer or save it as a draft if you typed it, wait a week and if you still want to send it then send it, if not then don't.

 

It saved me alot of stupid heartache, but only you can make the decision for yourself.

[didittomyself]

Why does it mater that SHE has to read it. Sounds like you want to draw some emotion from her. Not worth the time, if you're over her could you not pretend she read it and ritualistically burn it?

I wouldn't think about it, i just wouldn't do it

[Zammo25]

Why does it mater that SHE has to read it. Sounds like you want to draw some emotion from her. Not worth the time, if you're over her could you not pretend she read it and ritualistically burn it?

I wouldn't think about it, i just wouldn't do it

 

It is answering a few points from her last e mail and contact over 3 weeks ago which I did not reply to. She said " she still loves me and cares for me " but can't be with me anymore. What does that mean ?

 

What does a Woman mean when they say that ?.

[DJMarky]

It is answering a few points from her last e mail and contact over 3 weeks ago which I did not reply to. She said " she still loves me and cares for me " but can't be with me anymore. What does that mean ?

 

What does a Woman mean when they say that ?.

 

Might not be the love they used to have, they may love you now as a friend rather than a lover or they are just being polite and don't want to straight out say they don't love you anymore. Sorry for sounding so negative.

 

I could be wrong.

[Dlyrica]

It is answering a few points from her last e mail and contact over 3 weeks ago which I did not reply to. She said " she still loves me and cares for me " but can't be with me anymore. What does that mean ?

 

What does a Woman mean when they say that ?.

 

She either

a) Was trying to be polite and not hurt you (even though her telling you she still loves you probably just drives you crazy)

or b) She REALLY does still love you but also knows that the relationship is not working.

 

I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. I still love him a lot. Yesterday would have been our 3 year anniversary and it hurts to think about that. So why did I break up with him? Sometimes, as much as you love someone, all the help and 'changes' in the world aren't going to save your relationship. People are who they are and even if they seem to 'change' usually many problems still can't be solved unless both people actively want to fix them.

 

I'm sure right now you are thinking you will never be happy again or at least with anyone else. It is an easy thing to think because at one point you were so happy with your ex. What I always think about though, is my other exes in my past. I remember my past exes and feeling the hopelessness of heartbreak with each one. I truly believed after every break up that I wouldn't be happy again. Guess what though? I was happy with other people and I loved the next boyfriend more than the last. I think it's because you learn something about the dynamics of yourself and relationships with each relationship you are a part of.

 

I think sending the letter is going to do more harm than good. If it does help you though then I guess you win. Good luck.

[Meaplus3]

It is answering a few points from her last e mail and contact over 3 weeks ago which I did not reply to. She said " she still loves me and cares for me " but can't be with me anymore. What does that mean ?

 

What does a Woman mean when they say that ?.

 

IMO.. that's a polite way of saying " I'm no longer interested in a Relationship".. for whatever reason.

 

Mea:)

[Zammo25]

IMO.. that's a polite way of saying " I'm no longer interested in a Relationship".. for whatever reason.

 

Mea:)

 

So she DOES NOT love me anymore is what you are saying.

[Green]

So she DOES NOT love me anymore is what you are saying.

 

No she doesn't. She kind of just said it. I mean if she really loved you don't you think she would have sent another letter saying she wants to get back togather. Seriously focus on her actions not her words

[Zammo25]

No she doesn't. She kind of just said it. I mean if she really loved you don't you think she would have sent another letter saying she wants to get back togather. Seriously focus on her actions not her words

 

How can " I still love you care for you " be she noes not love me ?. Why can't Women bloody well just say what they mean and mean what they save. they are headf*cks ALL of them. Better off without them. Bitch !.

[Meaplus3]

So she DOES NOT love me anymore is what you are saying.

 

Yes.. that's what I'm saying.

 

No she doesn't. She kind of just said it. I mean if she really loved you don't you think she would have sent another letter saying she wants to get back togather. Seriously focus on her actions not her words

 

Green makes a very good point here.

 

Mea:)

[serendip]

I hear what your saying bu this NC stuff is a load of BS for people trying to act as if they don't give a damn and saving face. Well I don't care I will send it and then put it all to an end. I do not expect or want a reply but I ned to do it. The trouble with LS is that it is a load of disillusoined people who are angry and bitter about being dumped. We only see the angry people on LS the ones who have lost in love. It is not a balanced forum. Not balanced at all.

 

Why are you on here asking for advice then?

 

It sounds like you are opinion shopping...hoping someone will agree with you that it's a good idea...and you are trying convince yourself it's a good idea and that it doesn't matter if she responds or not.

 

Sorry dude...but you are lying to yourself and others. You totally want a reaction from her hoping this final letter will trigger something in her. Well...chances are it won't. She couldn't give a damn about you when it comes to wanting you back...if she did...then she would be contacting you. No matter how many final letters you send...it won't make a difference...you have to let it go ...hardest thing to do dude.

 

If she wants you back....she will come back. If not then nothing you can do or say will change her mind...all it will do is add to your hurt.

 

Also...if you can't handle a differing opinion...then don't come on here and ask for it.

[Zammo25]

Why are you on here asking for advice then?

 

It sounds like you are opinion shopping...hoping someone will agree with you that it's a good idea...and you are trying convince yourself it's a good idea and that it doesn't matter if she responds or not.

 

Sorry dude...but you are lying to yourself and others. You totally want a reaction from her hoping this final letter will trigger something in her. Well...chances are it won't. She couldn't give a damn about you when it comes to wanting you back...if she did...then she would be contacting you. No matter how many final letters you send...it won't make a difference...you have to let it go ...hardest thing to do dude.

 

If she wants you back....she will come back. If not then nothing you can do or say will change her mind...all it will do is add to your hurt.

 

Also...if you can't handle a differing opinion...then don't come on here and ask for it.

 

I accept what you saying but LS is a fourm for lets be honest losers. Don't get me wrong I am a loser as well. But it is always so negative. If someone says they love you it must be they don't love you. It is always the negative , no wonder people can't get or keep hold of their partners which such an attitude.

 

She may still love you, you do not know she doesn't or the other people on here you have the high and mighty attitude of she does not love you. You don't know here. Maybe she does but I did not fulfill the things she wanted. But , no SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU.

 

I doubt anyone on here will find and keep a partner will such a flimsy attitude giving up at the first hurdle. It is a forum for people ( like me ) wallowing in their own self pity.

[Dlyrica]

I know I'm not wallowing in my own self pity..nor do I think I or anyone else on LS is a 'loser'

 

I'm not exactly sure where you are getting that from.

[Zammo25]

I know I'm not wallowing in my own self pity..nor do I think I or anyone else on LS is a 'loser'

 

I'm not exactly sure where you are getting that from.

 

We are all losers as we have been dumped, rejected and abandoned. If our love and we were worthy we would not have been.

 

There are people still living in hell 3 years on.

 

This is hardly a site for the winners in life is it ?, be honest.

[Dlyrica]

We are all losers as we have been dumped, rejected and abandoned. If our love and we were worthy we would not have been.

 

There are people still living in hell 3 years on.

 

This is hardly a site for the winners in life is it ?, be honest.

 

Wow thats a pretty depressing way of looking at things. I still hold my opinion.

[Zammo25]

Wow thats a pretty depressing way of looking at things. I still hold my opinion.

 

I am sorry if the truth hurts.

[Geishawhelk]

If it were true, it might hurt, but hold some value.

 

However, fortunately - it's not true.

 

It's just your perception, through your jaded and hurt eyes and heart.

Others on here have also been through what you're experiencing, and have come through it.

 

if you let yourself, you will move on.

If you insist on remaining in this state, inspite of repeated attempts from others to convince you otherwise, - you won't.

 

Either way, the choice is, as always, yours.

 

Now that's True.

It hurts, but it IS True.

[Zammo25]

If it were true, it might hurt, but hold some value.

 

However, fortunately - it's not true.

 

It's just your perception, through your jaded and hurt eyes and heart.

Others on here have also been through what you're experiencing, and have come through it.

 

if you let yourself, you will move on.

If you insist on remaining in this state, inspite of repeated attempts from others to convince you otherwise, - you won't.

 

Either way, the choice is, as always, yours.

 

Now that's True.

It hurts, but it IS True.

 

So what you saying is give up on life. Move on to what ?. Have you moved on ?. You are still on here. You are not out having a good time , dating other guys , your life is still on hold. Its not easy so to be lectured by people who are hypocrits is hard to take.

[Zammo25]

She either

a) Was trying to be polite and not hurt you (even though her telling you she still loves you probably just drives you crazy)

or b) She REALLY does still love you but also knows that the relationship is not working.

 

I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. I still love him a lot. Yesterday would have been our 3 year anniversary and it hurts to think about that. So why did I break up with him? Sometimes, as much as you love someone, all the help and 'changes' in the world aren't going to save your relationship. People are who they are and even if they seem to 'change' usually many problems still can't be solved unless both people actively want to fix them.

 

I'm sure right now you are thinking you will never be happy again or at least with anyone else. It is an easy thing to think because at one point you were so happy with your ex. What I always think about though, is my other exes in my past. I remember my past exes and feeling the hopelessness of heartbreak with each one. I truly believed after every break up that I wouldn't be happy again. Guess what though? I was happy with other people and I loved the next boyfriend more than the last. I think it's because you learn something about the dynamics of yourself and relationships with each relationship you are a part of.

 

I think sending the letter is going to do more harm than good. If it does help you though then I guess you win. Good luck.

 

Yeah but here you are back at square 0. Do not go into another relationship as it will happen again as I know it will with me.

[Geishawhelk]

So what you saying is give up on life. Move on to what ? Have you moved on ?

YUP!!

You are still on here. You are not out having a good time , dating other guys

I have a partner and have had for the past 4 years. I came out of a 22-year marriage....

 

your life is still on hold.

Far from it sunbeam!

 

Its not easy so to be lectured by people who are hypocrits is hard to take.

Quite so.

That's why I feel I have a point.

 

You - unless you drop this self-pitying, sorry for myself, woe-is-me boo-hoo attitude -

never will.

[Zammo25]

YUP!!

 

I have a partner and have had for the past 4 years. I came out of a 22-year marriage....

 

 

Far from it sunbeam!

 

 

Quite so.

That's why I feel I have a point.

 

You - unless you drop this self-pitying, sorry for myself, woe-is-me boo-hoo attitude -

never will.

 

Why are you on here if you have been happy for 4 years ?. All you do is dish out tellings off. I am pretyy down but you are in a happy relationship for 4 years so how the hell can you empathise with this situation. Its like an ex smokers telling all the smokers off.

[Zammo25]

YUP!!

 

I have a partner and have had for the past 4 years. I came out of a 22-year marriage....

 

 

Far from it sunbeam!

 

 

Quite so.

That's why I feel I have a point.

 

You - unless you drop this self-pitying, sorry for myself, woe-is-me boo-hoo attitude -

never will.

 

Play hard ball if you like. I don't care. I still cannot see why you are on here. This is a site for all the losers and heartbroken, dumped and rejected. You do not fit into that category according to you. What possible insite can you provide to this crap situation apart from stop boo hooing.

[Green]

Play hard ball if you like. I don't care. I still cannot see why you are on here. This is a site for all the losers and heartbroken, dumped and rejected. You do not fit into that category according to you. What possible insite can you provide to this crap situation apart from stop boo hooing.

 

This kind of stuff is entertaining to me so you could say the satisfaction of giving advice and having it work for some one is my reward. I don't consider myself or you a loser but your attitude is very negative and will only cause you more pain. You obviously need to be miserable because you're doing everything in your power to think about this at all times. I would recomend you give other people on LS genuine advise meant to help them out, posotive advice and take a vaction from thinking about your problems, this thread itself only makes you think about ur situation and get more depressed. Don't send the letter, and if you have or do then remember you said this was the final letter. If you really want to try and get your gf back a letter probably won't do it you should show up in person and talk to her... if thats not an option the just let her go

[Geishawhelk]

If this site is for the people you say it's for, why are so many of them arguing with your PoV...?

 

and -

an interpersonal relationship advice and assistance center providing a forum to confront personal conflicts, promote participation in self-discovery and responsibility, and to share dating tips, love advice, and platonic relationship resources.

 

That's from the intro. Nowhere does it say that this is a site for "losers and heartbroken, dumped and rejected".

 

I think you're the one in the wrong category.

So if anyone should consider whether they actually belong here - it's you......

 

Stop holding pity parties.

Or stop posting.

Either way, your progress is your choice, and you can choose whether to look up, or down.