Alpha Female Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 A friend of mine invited me to a superbowl party tomorrow at his friends house. I have wanted to meet these friends for a while, so I accepted. Last week, I asked if I could bring something to drink. He said they like wine. So, I said I would bring a bottle or two. Well, somehow that has now morphed into he and I are picking up two large pizzas and wings and splitting the cost, plus, I am still supposed to bring the wine I bought. So, I know this sounds petty, but if these people are hosting the party, then why are we bringing all the food and drink? WTF? Somehow, my offer to bring a bottle of drinking wine for $10 has grown into me paying half for all the food and then still bringing booze. I figure I'll spend like $40 tomorrow. Like I said, I know it sounds petty, but really - isn't this a bit much to expect from a guest? I know if I had a party, I wouldn't ask people to bring everything. At this point, I can just stay home and watch the game. How should I handle this? I dont want to go in resentful, but then again, I feel a little taken advantage of. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Are you in college? Maybe they're strapped for cash. In my college days, who ever had the moola bought the food and drink( usually several.) So maybe it's a financial thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpha Female Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 No, we are all older and all work. I just feel put out to be asked to bring everything when I dont even know these people. If I knew them, it would be a non-issue. But, we haven't. And even though I earn more than everyone, I dont think thats a reason to take advantage like this. I dont want to cancel, but I probably will. Otherwise Ill be too resentful and really I can stay home and watch it on HDTV! ha ha Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Sounds more like a "gathering" than a hosted party. "Hey, why don't we all watch the SB at my place?" <--- you'll probably be expected to bring something. BYOB and BYOF. "I'm hosting a SB bash, come over if you'd like!" <--- you're not expected to bring anything. You've been looking forward to meeting these people, and you have the means to contribute. To not go would seem petty. Bring the wine, and call it a day. Just don't be mad if there's no food there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpha Female Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 That's not an option. My friend is coming to pick me up tomorrow and then we are supposed to go pick up all the food. Im supposed to be ordering it! So I cant get out of that portion. This went from me asking what I can bring to drink to be a good guest, to now paying for pretty much the entire party. I guess I can go and not bring the bottles of wine I bought. But then Ill be mighty thirsty! When my friend told me today that he wanted me to add an extra pizza to the order and that he would split it with me, I asked if these people had any food at all! He said he didnt know. I just feel like Im being taken advantage of. These arent my friends so its not like we have a relationship and this is cool. It doesnt matter how much money I have. That shouldnt mean Im expected to pay for the entire event. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Two large pizzas and some chicken wings is paying for the entire event? I find that difficult to believe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpha Female Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 I have been asked to bring the wine AND the food. It is only going to be the 4 of us. So yes, this is the entire event. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 You OFFERED to bring the wine, you weren't asked. Your friend who you're going with is splitting the cost of the pizza and wings with you. You don't know if other food or drink will be provided. I highly doubt that the person who's house you're going to isn't going to make any food or drink available. But it's your choice. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Star, If I bring 2 large pizzas (with anchovies) and 4 bottles of Yellowtail can I come to your party? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 BF and I are actually having a Mexican Fiesta! themed party. So please bring some guac and tequila instead. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Sorry, Tequila turns me into the "incredible Hulk", I start throwing buses and beating up policia and sh*t . Not good. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Mojito stuff then? Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Anything but teq. unless it's mixed well. Like a sunrise, yum. Link to post Share on other sites
summer19 Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 hmmm i know today is superbowl day..but have you talked to your friend?? and asked why all of a sudden you are expected to bring everything when you are a guest? I mean bring something ok..but i agree it looks like they just want some free pizza. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Alpha Female Posted February 1, 2009 Author Share Posted February 1, 2009 I told him last night that I wasn't going to go. I made up an excuse. Yes, I feel put out that as a guest, I am expected to bring the entire party. I asked a few friends, and they all agreed it was pretty classless. If I knew these people, I would have no problem with it. When I have people over, I never expect nor ask them to bring a thing. I thought asking last week what I could bring, and him telling me they like wine was enough. As far as the food thing - I think he should have paid for all of it. These are his friends, not mine. Him telling me he will split it seemed a bit much. Ive made other plans and although perhaps it wont be as fun, at least I wont feel taken advantage of. Link to post Share on other sites
Crestfallen_KH Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 I guess I don't understand why you couldn't have just said "No, sorry, I can't split the cost of food as well. I'll just be bringing the wine as I've already offered." That way, you still could have gone and not been resentful. Now you're not going to meet these friends who you were originally looking forward to meeting. Not only that, but this guy was counting on you to pitch in because you said you would. Now, instead of being the friend who had a limited budget, you're the total flake who left your friend holding the bag on game day. Don't get me wrong, I can understand why you felt put out. I'm a generous person and I've historically been roped into paying for more than my share, but at some point I ovaried up and just said "No." It just seems like this whole situation could have been avoided had you just stood up for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 I'm sure the guy said, "no problem, I'll bring the food" and if so, HE should have paid for it all. But, it does seem a bit petty on your part to have cancelled, how much could 1/2 of two pizza's and hotwings cost?...Let's say it was $60 total with the wine. You wanted to meet these friends anyways right, what would a night out to dinner and drinks cost? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 The HOST should be asking people to contribute to the pizza and wings..NOT your friend. Seems your friend is in the wrong here to ask you to pay for HALF of the food and bring wine. There's nothing wrong with bringing a bottle of wine and afew bags of chips..But what he has asked you to do is crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Its easy for those of us who have been around awhile or who go to many functions to know that the right thing to do would have been to say: I'd be happy to bring a bottle of wine. If they wont be serving food at their party, I'll eat before we go. OR for college age: Lets split the cost of the dinner and drinks 4 ways. But this is something we learn as we go. It is astounding how much "hosts" expect from "guests" in exchange for company. These days If I need to do more than attend with whatever is I want to bring I just don't go. Link to post Share on other sites
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