griffinchicken53 Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 every now and then i get the notion that maybe things will improve. I have a negative outlook, sure, but every now and then I think it is going to get better. Case in point. i start kind of liking someone, I start thinking what it would be like if she liked me as well. It is like I play out what could happen if that was the case....then after a few weeks of thinking of it as a possibility, reality starts to set in, nothing is going to happen, i don't have anything to daydream about, and i start getting depressed. this has been a pattern, how do i fix it somewhat. i know nothing wrong with daydreaming but sometimes it messes with me emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 1, 2009 Share Posted February 1, 2009 Proof if proof were needed that "The Secret" is a bunch of hooey!! The minute you srat seeing yourself wandering off into an imginary predicted scenario - stop yourself and just tell yourself - "Let's wait and see, in the meantime, grab a bite to eat/a coffee/some sleep/do some work/go for a walk - or whatever's appropriate to the moment. Allow me to explain something for a second.... we spend so much time re-hashing and grinding frustratingly over the past ('I wish I'd done/said....') or projecting forward into a predicted future ('I hope this will happen/that won't happen, i wonder if....?') that we completely miss out on how enjoyable and alive the present is. We constantly miss out on it because we're always elsewhere. Please - do me a favour: Either buy, or hire from the library, the excellent book by Eckhart Tolle titled "The Power of Now." It will change your life. I guaran-fecckin'-tee it . Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Share Posted February 2, 2009 the example i can give. in another thread i asked about "lunch with a girl" or something like that. so in my mind i start thinking of myself as less of a loser, start thinking of conversation topics, where would be somewhere to go eat, etc. Cuz let's face it, I haven't had any one on one time with a woman (don't mean that in a sexual way, but strictly platonic) in 5 years. so it's been 3 weeks since she said she'd let me know. So now the "daydream" whatever you want to call it has worn off and i'm back to thinking "ok it was just a polite blowoff and she's hoping i will forget ever asking her" i guess i'm still the loser i've always been and all my meals will be enjoyed by my lonesome. that's just the most recent example. sometimes i just daydream because i am bored or to take my mind off of something else in life that is bothering me. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Have you actually bothered reading my post, or is this just a "I'm feeling sorry for myself" thread, because you're living in la-la land all the time? Please clarify..... Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
MindoverMatter Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 When you have trouble disconnecting from a day dream, make yourself focus on something that relates to your senses. For example: drink a glass of water. But first, hold the glass in your hand, feel the smooth surface, the cold, the weight in your hand. Then raise it, put in on your lips, sip...taste it, feel how the liquid goes down your throat.. You get the picture. This is what some people do to disconnect after meditating for a while, or the other way around to get in a calmer state of mind when they have been multitasking and overstressing too much. For the other kind of daydream: see Geishawelk's post. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted February 2, 2009 Share Posted February 2, 2009 Case in point. i start kind of liking someone, I start thinking what it would be like if she liked me as well. It is like I play out what could happen if that was the case....then after a few weeks of thinking of it as a possibility, reality starts to set in, nothing is going to happen, i don't have anything to daydream about, and i start getting depressed. Nothing's going to happen unless you make it happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author griffinchicken53 Posted February 3, 2009 Author Share Posted February 3, 2009 it's half and half geisha. part just feeling sorry for myself. I don't like reality. i'm in debt, had some past medical issues that have left me needing to be on expensive medication for the rest of my life, i live at home, haven't had a date in 10 years. so i feel the need to escape. i don't mean this to sound like i have trouble distinguishing between the two. I can't find anything to enjoy about life right now. I go eat food and i realize i'm buying it with borrowed money and cant enjoy it, Link to post Share on other sites
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