breyedgirlbc Posted September 27, 2003 Share Posted September 27, 2003 I have already been on here a few times trying to deal with my ex, and figure out ways to help me get over him and outta my life....cause what i have been dealing with up until this point is just so not healthy for me. I was trying to be friends with my ex for the last year out of my life(we had a 2 year relationship)not because it was what i wanted, but because i knew he wanted to remain friends really bad, so i thought i could do it for him, which was just a bad idea to begin with. Anyway a little while ago i decided that no, i couldn't do it anymore because i was just hurtin all the time, and was finding it really hard.....to put it mildly. My ex, is a really stubourne, pig headed person that thinks he is perfect, and always right, he will not listen to anyone elses point of view, and hates it when people stick up for themselves...i believe its called CONTROL!! I had finally had enough of feeling that i was being walked all over, him coming in and out of my kids and my life whenever he felt like it, and always expected me to be the one to kiss his ass and keep in touch. When he would keep in contact it was all about him and what he was doing and how he was feeling, not even asking so much as how we were!! I ended up telling him, that i didn't think it should be so hard to keep a friend, and that i didn't feel that friendship should hurt the way ours did, so i was sorry i couldn't be the friend he wanted me to be, but i had to start thinking of me, and move on in my life, because i realized that by holding on to something that was already gone, was only gonna make it harder for me to move on. I told him that i would no longer be contacting him, but i wished him all the best and i hope his life worked out the way he wanted it to. I thought that was gonna be the end of things, and i was very sad, but i was prepared to finally do this once and for all. About a week later he wrote me back this mean e-mail saying that he couldn't handle being friends with me as it is just too"tuff to handle" and for me not to expect to be hearing from him anytime soon as the ball is in my court now, its up to me to decide when if ever i want to be his friend(minus the drama). Now this guy knows how to get my goat, was that e-mail just so he could get the last word in, because i had put in my e-mail that i wouldn't be contacting him anymore, he also wrote that it really sucked because he cares about us and had a really great time with us....is that about guilt?? Since the e-mail, i did everything in my power to not write back, but because i am a sucker and have a big heart he made me feel bad, like i was such a bitch for wanting to move on and feel happier in my life. So now i have been feeling like a horrible person because i do love this guy so much, but on the other hand i know by staying in each others lives in only prolonging something that is quite obviously over. I have tried to talk to him to say i don't hate you, i just can't do this anymore, but he won't talk to me.....should i leave things the way they are and just take it for what it is, or should i go against what i think is right, and keep trying to talk to him, even though i think thats what he wanted, to make me feel bad about sticking up for myself.... i just want this to be over because it is taking away all the energy i have and making me really sad, with him in my life i am finding it hard to move on and give anyone else a chance, but i don't want to feel like he hates me either....i am so confused!! HELP!!! Link to post Share on other sites
wiseluv34 Posted September 28, 2003 Share Posted September 28, 2003 hi there, sounds like if you're going to take control of your life and be happy and not sad, then you need to be wise..and let that fool go! he sounds like a complete jerk, and why would you worry about his feelings? you said that when you talk to him, he isn't concerned about you nor your kids. GET OVER HIM, move on. he only loves himself! when a man loves a woman, he sacrifices (meaning gives up), himself, just to please you and to make you happy. you will not be happy with the right man in your future, if you keep holding on to this loser! apparently, no other woman desires to put up with his bull, b/c he keeps making your life miserable. just ignore him, because he only care for himself. holla back p.s. i was involved with a loser like your guy, and he made me feel unhappy during our 4yr relationship, b/c he only loved himself, he only looked out for himself. TRUE LOVE IS SACRIFICING, GIVING UP HIMSELF JUST LIKE JESUS DID FOR US. NOW THAT'S REAL LOVE Link to post Share on other sites
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