artbrat Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Lately, a close group of work friends is making me crazy. It's all about what everyone else is doing or not doing. They feel victimized. Some are obsessed about opportunities or projects they felt entitled to, but end up assigned to someone else. These friends tend to keep close tabs on others and stuck in this mode of behavior. They even snipe at one another behind their backs. I admit I took part for a while. Thankfully, I backed off. It simply doesn't do me any good and interrupts my productivity. These friends appear to be confused about my new attitude. When the chatter starts, I clam up, change the subject or excuse myself. Nothing in the department seems to be right or good enough in their opinion. Plus, I sit next to a chronic complainer. About work, her life, her inability to find a significant other, you name it. It's exhausting! We have a cubicle environment and that adds fuel to the fire. Lately, I started plugging in my iPod because of the distractions and background noise and my own ADHD. They ask me if anything is wrong - constantly. OMG! I can't win. I truly like these friends for their good qualities which are many, except when it comes to this. A lot of insecurities happening underneath? Maybe I'm there to work. How can I distance myself gracefully but keep their friendships? ~peace and love Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 First of all, smart move to distance yourself from negative influences, office or otherwise. We've all done it and regretted it. I don't know if you can retain their friendship but you can keep it light, civil and above all, professional. What draws people together in the office, tends to be common complaint/office gossip. Link to post Share on other sites
doushenka Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 You're doing everything right. Just smile, nod, and keep your nose in your work -- they'll soon get the message. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 all the office enviroments i've worked in were dysfunctional....and i'm talking Fortune 500 companies here Link to post Share on other sites
Posco_Proudfoot Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Lately, a close group of work friends is making me crazy. It's all about what everyone else is doing or not doing. They feel victimized. Some are obsessed about opportunities or projects they felt entitled to, but end up assigned to someone else. These friends tend to keep close tabs on others and stuck in this mode of behavior. They even snipe at one another behind their backs. I admit I took part for a while. Thankfully, I backed off. It simply doesn't do me any good and interrupts my productivity. These friends appear to be confused about my new attitude. When the chatter starts, I clam up, change the subject or excuse myself. Nothing in the department seems to be right or good enough in their opinion. Plus, I sit next to a chronic complainer. About work, her life, her inability to find a significant other, you name it. It's exhausting! We have a cubicle environment and that adds fuel to the fire. Lately, I started plugging in my iPod because of the distractions and background noise and my own ADHD. They ask me if anything is wrong - constantly. OMG! I can't win. I truly like these friends for their good qualities which are many, except when it comes to this. A lot of insecurities happening underneath? Maybe I'm there to work. How can I distance myself gracefully but keep their friendships? ~peace and love Where is your manager in all of this? The type of environment that promotes this behavior usually have managers that are MIA and don't manage anything, including this. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 3, 2009 Share Posted February 3, 2009 Where is your manager in all of this? The type of environment that promotes this behavior usually have managers that are MIA and don't manage anything, including this. I agree with this to a degree. It's reliant on how badly it affects employee moral on the whole. In the past, when employee moral has dropped as a whole, I've gotten together meetings with assorted staff members, including HR, to discuss the issues. If the issues were petty, driven by a few agitators, the agitators were separated and quietly removed, if necessary. If the issues were valid, then changes happened to provide for equitable treatment. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts