Buehlz Posted September 27, 2003 Share Posted September 27, 2003 well I am 30 year old man that has been married to my wife for almost 5 yrs. We have a Step son (7 yrs) and a son (3) Well about 3 weeks ago I came home from work and she wanted to talk. Went on to tell me that she wants a Divorce. I got upset and packed a bag and left the house after telling them that Daddy was leaving and not sure when he was coming back. Well I only made it 3 hrs sitting in my car and I had plenty of time to think about what I really wanted. So I went back home. Asked, Begged and pleaded for forgivness. Didnt work. left work 3 hrs early the next day to come home and talk. She wasnt there so I sat down and had a talk with a very good female friend of ours. Our friend went on to tell me where I was lacking in my marrage and the kinds of things that I should do to help my situation. Well I wrote a long love letter to my wife and talked about the mistakes that I have made and how I want to make everything right. I read this letter to her when she got home that night. She said it was everything she wanted to hear but it was too late that the damage had been done. Well about 1 1/2 weeks after that I moved out (under her request) she had finally agreed that she wouldnt file for divorce and try to work things out but we still need to live apart. Her with our 2 kids and me with a friend. About a week after moving out I finally got her to agree to goto councelling. Well last night I was on the computer and noticed that she was on Yahoo messanger. So I talked to her for a short time. I then read her profile to see that she had changed it. Saying something about being seperated and her intrested including the boys and anything to get out of the house and have a good time. Well then I got a wild hair up my butt and searched the Yahoo personals. I found that she had posted there. the title saying something about Romatic looking for a good man. and it went on in her discription that she was looking to meet some nice guys and what did they have to loose. I confronted her about that and she deleted it. But then went on to say that for the 3 time since our break up that she found cookies from porn sites on our computer. I cant explain why they are there I dont want anything to do with porn since it has distroyed our marrage, she had been battling my addiction to porn for 2 1/2 yrs. I am confused lonley and feeling suicidel some times. I know I would never do it but I sometimes feel like it would be easier than dealing with this kind of pain. But I wouldnt do it because I love my wife and kids and someway some how want to work this out. Link to post Share on other sites
2SidestoStories Posted September 28, 2003 Share Posted September 28, 2003 feeling suicidel some times For this, I beg you...seek out a counselor. You are unable to see it right now, but you have more than plenty of reason to continue living and finding your happiness. Please please PLEASE speak to someone who can help you beat your depression. There is a possibility that in talking to a professional, you will be able to get through your depression, as well as your self-professed porn addiction. I cannot emphasize this enough in writing! You have the will to come here and post your message on a forum full of strangers. I for one am a stranger who is concerned enough to tell you that taking your own life will only cause more pain and hardship for the people you seem to want to still have in your life. Trust me, even though I'm words on a webpage. Get help with this. Take your feelings seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 you have taken the first steps in recovery in posting on this site - you have to talk and talk about this until you you cant talk anymore. both of you feel betrayed and abandoned, but she is further down the line to rebuilding her life than you are. its easy to revert to past behaviour to deal with issues, but this is your time to make a difference to your life - theres quite clearly a real history in this, are you really sure you dont know how those cookies turned up? if you truly arent, maybe they were old cookies, or cookies of games downloading sites or something - they do turn up without asking. anyway, the clue to what your wife wants is in what she wrote in the yahoo thingy, she wants fun and a good time. deal with your problems and do as 2sides says. and keep talking on here - say what you want to say. take care Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts