I'm in love with my best friend, we're both girls, and she has a boyfriend

[OujiNoOkami]

I've found myself in a difficult situation in regard to my best friend. We've known each other since elementary school, but over the past year we became best friends. About two months ago I started to love her more than a friend. I'm 19 years old (and a girl too) and I'm not attending college yet, she's 18 and going to a community college, and her boyfriend is going to college at least an hour away.

 

On New Year's Eve we had been drinking at a friend's house and she got so drunk that she couldn't even stand, so I carried her upstairs to put her to bed. To make the long story short, she ended up crying and clinging to me saying that she loved me. I thought she meant she loved me as her best friend, so I was just kind of like 'yeah, you're my best friend I love you too. Plenty of people love you, like your boyfriend.' She insisted that it wasn't the same and that she loved /me/. Three days later after we got off work, we went to a Waffle House to get some breakfast. She seemed like she had a lot on her mind, so I asked her about it. She told me she had a love triangle going on between a mutual friend of ours, her boyfriend, and me. I told her I had feelings for her too, and she just merely said she figured.

 

Needless to say her boyfriend doesn't treat her as well as he should, and none of our friends approve of their relationship. She's had at least one really bad relationship in the past that was abusive, so I'm wondering if that could be a reason why she won't break up with her boyfriend entirely--- perhaps she feels insecure or useless if she's not with him. Technically, they broke up last month, and she told me that she's waiting for him to change and that he's trying to (I personally don't think you should ever change who you are or ask anyone else to if it's true love). She said she told him not to talk to him until Spring Break. However, we had been drinking recently and I checked her text messages and they've been talking. I cautiously asked her about it when we were sober and she tried to play it off like it was nothing (she has a habit of lying to please people I think). She had told me once before that she broke up with him, and then went back to him. When she did that she wrote me a note saying that he missed her and she was going back to him because it was the role she was meant to play, and that she truly loved me and was sorry for hurting me.

 

I swear she keeps dropping me hints that she wants to be with me but at the same time she won't let go of him, and even though she complains about how much of an ass he is she still won't let him go (I think she might pity him or feel that she can make him feel secure and help him). We end up wrestling quite a bit just for fun, and she always ends up biting me, especially my ears. I've told her before not to mess with my ears because at first it tickles, but then it makes me flustered. She stopped for awhile, but then she started to do it again. Recently she's been biting me all over, but I can't use all my strength and wrestle back entirely because I feel like I'll hurt her.

 

If anything, I really just want her to get out of the relationship she's in. She really does deserve better and the guy's a total a**hole. He's very uncaring and arrogant, and he thinks he's so much better than everyone else. He has his life planned out to every last detail basically, and in a nutshell told her that she was never part of his plan (in a disrespectful way as I've been told). And yet, she's still with him.

 

I love her so much that I just want her to be happy, even if all I can do is be her best friend... but I don't think I'll ever stop loving her and feeling for her like I do. I also feel like I can't weigh her down or get in the way. I've been so tempted to move out of town in hopes of making things better, but I just can't. I want to be able to protect her and look out for her. But she's said before that I need to go after my own happiness, and I've told her before that more than anything right now I want to be with her. It's almost like the movie Imagine Me and You, but in real life.

 

I feel absolutely terrible because there's a guy that I've recently met that has a massive crush on me. I feel nothing for him really, but we've just met. I've been trying to disconnect how I feel for my best friend by hanging out with him, because I see no other way to get past how I feel. At the same time, as bad as it is for me because I know better, I've been trying to make her jealous in hopes that she might pursue me.

 

Sorry all of this was so long, there's so much more to the situation... so if there are any questions I'll be checking back. I really hope someone can help me out with all of this, because I really don't want to get myself in too deep with this guy but I don't know what to do about my love for my best friend. Please help?

[shadowplay]

We end up wrestling quite a bit just for fun, and she always ends up biting me, especially my ears. I've told her before not to mess with my ears because at first it tickles, but then it makes me flustered. She stopped for awhile, but then she started to do it again. Recently she's been biting me all over, but I can't use all my strength and wrestle back entirely because I feel like I'll hurt her.

 

 

Thanks, you just succeeding in making me all horny.

[OujiNoOkami]

Thanks, you just succeeding in making me all horny.

 

I'm sorry...? ^^;

[carman15]

she probably doesnt like you if she has a boy friend.......