its over

[kurty]

i just broke up with my gf yesterday whom i had for 3yrs +. i'm 25 while she is 22. she say she is tired of quarrel.

i tried to please her by keeping my cool at all times, but she say she don't see the effort in me.

 

from the start, we are together by a bond call loneness. we belong to those lonely soul. this 3 yrs, we become each other friends, lover, gf, best friend and she become my pillar of support. now that she's gone. i really don't know what to do. we still remain as friends. i tried to ask her out for a show or something today, she reply she got something on.

 

i just don't know what i gonna do, my tears just flow and my heart aches. i wish i can throw away my brain and heart so i won't cry or feel pain.

 

will we be together again? i not sure, we been on and off for the last few months. this time, she sound very serious.

 

i don't how to live my life alone. the worst part is i'm still doing my national service. ( army ) i hated most

 

so lost now, i just type wats come on my mind.

[kurty]

really doing nothing other than crying and thinking.

 

wat can i really do ?

 

sad, very sad. i thought we quarrel are just part and parcel in the relationship. i still have alot undone matters with her...

 

i just find it hard to let go..

 

my past relationship, i took about 4yrs to forget..

 

i'm just cursed in relationship.

 

fated to be alone

[moimeme]

i don't how to live my life alone

 

You need to take some time to learn how to live alone. You are still young and have years and years in which to meet someone. It will be very painful now and for a while, but you will heal again and you will find the right person.

[kurty]

yeah, thanks for replying. time heal all things but how long will it takes, no body know..

 

i just back from running 5km and 1hr of soccer.. the amazing part is i'm a hardcore smoker.. i still can run the 5km effortlessly.. guess life still goes on.

 

as for my ex, we still remain as friend.

 

what should i say or do? i afraid if i go too near to her, she will withdraw, but if i don't work hard, i will lost her forever.

 

another is when at home, i tend to think of her. once i think of her, i will cry....

[gocubsgo]

i feel so bad for you.

you sound utterly heartbroken.

 

we've all been there and the only thing that helps is time.

but the hardest part of it all is yet to come.

 

you absolutely have to cut all ties with her.

i mean NO talking. as long as you still talk to her, she will be on your mind.

any contact (whether it's bad or good) will only keep her in your thoughts and

that is obviously the last thing you need.

 

the saying "out of sight, out of mind" is the god's honest truth!

live by it.

 

it will be the hardest thing you've ever done but it works.

i promise.

[kurty]

it been sometime ever since i wrote something again. and found out i'm not the only one who undergoing this era of pain. but still, i don't know where to begin

 

let me tell how i live my life during this period.

 

first, i did not heed your advice. i still keep contacting my ex. and i regreted it.

 

life is tough, beside this problem, other problems also came at this time.

i'm just deal one at a time other wise i go mad.

 

 

few hours ago, i cried. i cried for a long time until my eyes are swollen.

during the day, i was holding my tears. i saw a gf come and fetch his bf from the camp. i envy the fellow and miss the past.

 

i then, call my ex. each time i call her, i do it with alot of courage. i know what she will say to me but i still do it. like what she mention, she don't mind answering my call if we just chat like a friend without mention our relationship. each time, i do that. she say she hated me for it.

 

though i know i'm in wrong, but i did not give up. therefore i keep finding her hoping that she will come back to me. if she really love me or value the 3yrs we had, she won't hurt me.

 

today, she say she wish to put a full stop to our relationship. she want an end. i was speechless.

i know my hopes were gone, no matter what i do. she not gonna come back.

 

i wish to stop but i don't know how or where. i been ill for some time, but i did not go through any medication. i hardly eat or drinks. everyday i only sleep for about 3 hrs, even though i took a lot of pills to force myself to sleep. i having asthma attack but yet i still smoke. i know something, i have given up hope, i don't wish to carry on life. i wish to see how long my body could last, i doing self destruction.

 

i don't believe in love anymore, lost faith in it.

 

i wish to start afresh, but don't know how. is there any good method?

 

i have recently sign up for social work, hoping it will occupied my weekend free time.

i wish to expand my social life but don't know how.

i don't have much friends, everything i just kept within me.

[Again]

It is a really hard time. Try to make yourself feel better for just "you" right now. Wake up in the morning and go for a run, smile at people along the way. Come back, eat a decent meal and try to get out and involved in something. Find something that you truly enjoy.

 

The most important thing is to stay busy during this time. I am going through the same thing. Keep yourself healthy, it makes you feel much better when you wake up in the morning.

 

At night, when things are the worst, try your hardest to stay busy and keep your mind occupied. You are at the army base right? Can't you and some othery guys get together and do something? Try it, if you have not.

 

Just stay healthy and busy. It hurts so much, but things can only get better for you.

 

Hang in there!

[kurty]

thanks, i hanging now..

 

i try to keep myself really busy during the day. still miss her, went to a photo shop just now and collect the photos we used to take.

 

still holding ...

[hopeinternational]

You feel so lonely because your attention is all on her and she's no longer with you anymore. You need to shift your attention elsewhere, by doing things with other folks. How about getting closer to your army buddies and your family?

 

Over time, you'll find that there are truly wonderful people out there whom you may have not noticed or appreciated while you were in your former relationship. It's time to move on and look beyond that one person. The pain will be there until you can do this.

[kurty]

she told me to let her go, she dream of a nightmare about me that i rape her..

the words she said cuts like a knife.

 

i cried as usual,

 

right now, we are still friends. this sat, she say she want to go out with me. going out together seem to be a good sign but it also set me wondering if there is patch-back on our love.

 

totally, i can't forget her. i find her everyday. asking her how she is, it stress her up, i do know the outcome when a person too stress up. they will scream or avoid you. thats what i think she is doing.

 

i know the solutions to tat, stop pestering her.

but i can't do that.

 

i know the solution yet i can't carried them out.

i hate myself for being so low and acting like a pest.

 

i dream of being together with her again. her mum dislike me. i always worried, the longer we stay apart, the further we drafting away. but what can i do. her doors are shut at me. i tried to break in, it only makes her more scared of me.

i becoming a monster at times, i wish i can end it all. whats the point of living when life is so bitter.

 

why don't she give me a chance?

 

HELP ME!

 

cherrie, i really going nuts. i becoming sick. i don't know what the hell do you want, i want to start afresh with you.

[dontomaso]

Kurty.. Hey Bro... Sorry to hear about your pain.

 

Just think about how awesome it's going to be when you find your next gf. The beginning parts of a relationship are so special and you get to experience all of those wonderful feelings all over again. It may not happen too soon, but that's okay... as you heal you will learn A TON about yourself. You will be a better and stronger person for having gone through this whole experience.

[UCFKevin]

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. There's nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel better. We've all been there. It's rough. It's extremely rough. If you want to close yourself off from everyone else and be alone, do it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't fool yourself into thinking if you go out and try to have fun, it's going to work, because it won't. At least it never did for me.

 

And these people saying leave her alone and walk away, it's SO much easier said than done. Eventually, it'll happen, it'll have to, but man, when you're in a situation like this, the last thing you want to do is walk away.

 

If you want to cry, cry. Don't feel ashamed for it. I've shed quite a few tears in my life over women, and I don't feel any better after crying but it's getting it out of my system at least.

 

Life will go on. You will meet someone new. Just deal with this day by day. Every day, it'll get barely better, in a tiny miniscule sort of way. I know the pain you're in, bud. I was there myself recently and nothing but time could help.

[kurty]

thanks everyone, thanks

 

today, is my first day trying out not to contact her. hopefully i can do it as i spend half of the day sleeping.

[UCFKevin]

If that's what you gotta do, do it. I did that myself. Don't let yourself come apart at the seams and please don't physically do anything, even if that makes completely stop eating. I didn't eat for three or four days when my breakup happened and when I shaved, my face was THIN as hell and I freaked out.

 

I walked away from my girlfriend, who wants her space, walked away in the sense that I'm done fighting for her because I fought all I could and did all I could so now I just have to give her the time and space she wants, and not calling is HARD AS HELL. But I'm doing it.

[ang]

Perhaps I can give you some hope today -- I'm going through the same thing. You're not alone. It's so easy in this world of ours to think that you're the only one feeling so helpless and alone. You're not. Go out there today and know for a fact that you're not alone.

[kurty]

thanks guys for being there for me..

thank you

[UCFKevin]

I tell you one thing that's helped me out BIG time is this place.

 

Knowing that people are going through the same exact situation with almost the same exact circumstances and reading about it and talking about it helps so damn much. I'm glad I happened upon this place.

[kurty]

believe it or not, i don't belong to those kind who got much friends.

kinda sad but its the truth

[kurty]

hi

 

i shouldn't bother you with such stuffs but i can't find any people to talk to.

 

many things happen to me, hurting me and bringing me down. now i at 6 yrs ago starting point. cherrie had broke up with me about a mth ago. the reason is because of janice and i not a good bf. janice now working in CGHospital , it happen when i saw her and pass her a note. she say wanted to meet up. all this 6 yrs, the scars is there. i tell myself, i don't want to face. i want to face the devil. i did, we met up. chat for an hour. i also realise something, she forgive me. i felt i owe her nothing at all. nothing. my heart and hand don't hurt anymore. but i also find out one thing that is true.

 

cherrie told me i still got feeling for janice. she was like a replacement of her. i know its not right but i don't wish to do it either. i still have feeling for janice even after all these yrs. today, saturday, i confess to her. though we started of a bit nasty words and so. but i manage to cool down. i must have change something within this 6 yrs. i can't suffer from nothing. and it work. i manage to bring her down though the bad impression of me in her still exsist. but i know i am a changed man. after talking to her for 23 mins, i told her everything about my feeling. there is no more hatred between any of us. all she want is to be my friend again. but i can't do that, i really can't.

 

i don't know how to be friend with her, i expect too much from the unexpected. it really hurt me deeply again. i wonder, why after so many yrs, the feeling is still there. i am the world greatest fool. wat a fool i am. i shouldn't meet her in the first place then i won't be in the current situation. but i don't want to hide. i tired of hiding away from the devil. she did nothing wrong, the one who is in wrong is me, i shouldn't have feeling for her. she told me that it is really impossible for us to be together ever again.

 

i remember a story which taught me something. the gaps in our hand are for someone to fill them in. i willing to face the future together with her, no matter how hard the route gonna be. we will face it together. its a dream that i ever thought i will see her and talk to her. its also a dream that i dream of being together. but the reality told me she is not mine anymore. she belong to someone else. even if she is free, we are not gonna be together ever again. just like the moon and the sun. i stuck in the circle again.

 

but i don't want to go round and round. i told her not to find me anymore. though it hurts and i regret, i think its a better choice for me. every man in this world got a role, maybe the role for me is to be alone forever. i got no feeling and fear love. i don't wish to hurt anyone by being a replacement. i'm just too disappointed, why give me a dream when its not gonna be real. i hate myself for being so emotional and sensative. the only friend now is GOD, he knows me. he watch me cry, he knows how sad and disappointed i am. he never say anything, just there for me. i wish i can be in some accident or coma, i forgot everything. the memories hurt, they are too painful. i don't want to be me, being me is too emotional and weak.

 

kurt