wish he was cuter

[A.Person]

I've got a boyfiend who I've been with for a few months. I think he's really kind and smart and he makes me happy. I guess the problem is that he's not exactly the best looking guy i know. At first this didn't bug me, but recently I've been thinking back to all the cuter guys I've been with (I've been around the block). I feel bad that I've never had the strong physical attraction for him that I've had for so many other guys (most of who were one night stands). I was kind of worried about how I'm going to feel about him in the future. In a way I think he's cute, but only in the way that some people think their chihuahuas or pug dogs are cute. I was contemplating about whether or not I should try to alter his apperance, but I don't want to be one of those girlfriends who try to change their man. I want to know if there are people out there who had long term relationships with people that they didn't think were too fine. I'd like to know what I can do about this because I really like him.

[Tony T]

You said right up front that he is kind and he makes you happy. That is what we look for in a relationship.

 

Physical attraction is important and it seems it has been getting you a lot of one-night stands. There are many studs in the younger, good-looking male crowd and that seems what you've been attracting up to now.

 

Your guy will become better looking to you over time. You may not have gone through enough heartbreak and pain to appreciate him yet, though.

 

It is not wrong or superficial to expect to be attracted to the person you are dating, so don't feel bad. Matter of fact, it's a pretty sane goal. But though there are some decent guys in the stud zone, the greater number of them are probably going to break hearts until they are worn out and ready to settle down. Of course, you might be right there when that happens.

 

As for changing your guy, if I had a penny for every woman who wanted to change a man, I would be a multi-millionaire. I wouldn't go that route until he asks you to get a boob job or liposuction. I think if you were really in love with him you wouldn't want to change him.

 

I guess really what I am trying to say is maybe you should look out for a man you don't want to change, which may take you some interplanetary travel to find.

 

Good luck!!!