16 Months & Struggling Again..

[wowIlose]

The last 16 months of my life have been a real test. I am not going to lie and pretend its all been bad. Some good things have happened since the break up. That being said, nothing came without me putting in my all to improve my situation. Despite some advancements I have made for myself in life there has not been a day since the break up that I have felt "normal".

 

It's hard to explain. I can get caught up in moments that make me feel good then when in complete solitude my mind won't let me forget the pain. My mind won't let me forget her. I have really tried letting go- I can say that with pure honesty. There has been moments where I sat there telling myself out loud "something has to give".

 

I told my friend the other day that maybe I have depression. He looked at me and said. "No you don't. Your just a sexually repressed guy". We laughed about it. But maybe hes right. I haven't had sex with anyone else in my life. She was my first and my last. I went from having sex on a regular basis for 4 years to nothing for the last 16 months. That can't be good for anybody's confidence. Meanwhile shes had sex with at least 2 different guys that I am aware of and no I am not snooping- this happened early after the break up when I was still in regular contact.

 

I did everything your supposed to after a break up. I did the gym thing- always was a gym guy but I was there 5 days a week really giving it my all. I worked harder- I got several promotions since the break up. I worked harder outside of work and got my own clients. Really tried to keep myself busy. I ended up getting out of debt and being able to buy a nice car. For a minimum of two months I went out with friends every single weekend. Drank and partied. I got new hobbies- damn I really did it all... the one area I have had constant failure in is trying to date again and maybe this is why I am still stuck here...??

 

I joined lavalife twice in 2008 - on both occasions I was unable to meet anyone on it. When I went out it was mostly clubs. I got a few numbers but it didn't result in anything. Thats the problem with clubs- everyone is drinking and so its easy to get a number but trying to get a date out of any of those numbers is pretty difficult.

 

The only two girls that showed interest in me was one of my best friends EX that broke his heart- and seeing how I was coming from the same stuff i didn't even think twice and I left that alone before it became anything. Then the other girl was one of my other good friends current girlfriend. Of course I left it alone. I even laughed at the whole situation, it was great knowing I was attracting these girls but they where off-limits. I felt I was being taunted by life- as if life was pointing a finger at me and laughing in my face.

 

Then recently I joined up on a different free dating site. To my surprise I was able to meet 7 girls on it in a span of 1 month. I was feeling good. There was 2 girls of those 7 that gave me great initial interest, one girl in particular that I took a liking to and could see myself dating never got back to me after the first date despite everything going extremely well and her even asking me where I want to go with her next. I mean I felt good- I felt it was my break. She was attractive, she was smart and she gave me all the signs of liking me. When I never heard from her again it really confused me and did nothing to help my whole situation.

 

I recently went out with a friend thats still a friend of my exes. We had a good night, had some pictures and they went up on facebook. Now keep in mind I have to this point been in NC with my ex for 6-7 months. For whatever reason I unblocked her on my facebook knowing she would see me in these photos... I dont know why I did this. But when these photos went up she ended up requesting me as a friend. I didn't add her- except a week later I got weak and ended up hitting accept.... after close to 7 months of NC ugh. I didn't send her a message of anything so technically we still haven't spoken since me going hard NC. Its only been a few days but I am wondering if this was the right move.

 

Either way- I just needed to vent. I know it sounds like I am whining and complaining but that isn't my purpose. Writing this stuff out is theraputical.I wonder how much longer before I break this nasty slump. People always say "start dating". I feel like I've been ready to date for at least 6 months minimum except for whatever reason I just can't meet anyone. I feel drained after 7 different dates in one month and 0 results and no I am not looking for reasons for these things to not workout - I am looking for any excuse to like anyone these days. I want to move on so badly but the opportunities just aren't there.

 

Ok I am done. Thanks for reading.

[smile_through_tears]

aww babe you're doing GREAT!! I mean with what you've tried...you're trying to move on, sometimes it's hard to let go...For me it is at least...we're all different...You shouldn't try to find love because when you meet someone with the "intention" to "like" them. It never works. Meet people and get to know them, just as people and if you happen to like any of them, great. I know being single is lonely but for me nothing is worse than forcing myself to like somebody! Hugs to ya!

[lonelygurl]

It sounds like you are doing everything you can. According to the grieving books I am reading it can take some people one to two years or even longer to get over the loss of a loved one.

 

It is not easy to get over someone you really love. I can certainly relate to that. The first time my X left me I was no where near healed six months later when he came back for a second chance. This time around I'm hurting just as bad, but I've been more of a bitch towards him and I sent an email today about how I don't think he ever really loved me and how betrayed I felt and he sent a nasty one back and not to contact him again. It isn't going to make my hurt any better and it isn't going to stop me from loving him or missing him any less. I wish there was some way we could forget and move on just like they do.

 

I'm sure I'll be just like you are in a year and a half from now. I'm only 2 months in and I still get sick sometimes and feel sick pretty much daily when I think about how he is gone. How they can just leave us and hate us like we never even existed.

 

Just keep doing what you are doing and don't rush things.

[wowIlose]

Thanks for the replies. I always thought I was mentally strong. I always prided myself on that but I am starting to see that I am actually not that strong at all. People use the 2 year thing as a mark to get over someone, at my rate it looks like I am heading right for that statistic, I only hope in 6-8 months I'll be moving forward. I try to stay optimistic and will continue to try... the only thing I can really do or anyone can really do is be persistent in the pursuit to move forward.

 

The good part is that its not like it was in the first few months. The pain isn't the same. The pain you have in the first few months of a break up is the unbearable, haunting, very in your face type pain... the pain I am at now is more or less very silent and slow and lingering.. its not on the surface anymore but its still there being annoying

 

I look forward to the day I can look back at all this and say "well that was tough, but it was worth it." - I hope that day is soon.

[Biker2007]

Wow,

 

I am pretty much in the same boat as you. I have not seen my ex for about 16-17 months. For some particular reason, thoughts of her hit me like a ton of bricks last night and kicked my ass.

 

I did as you have...I went on quite a few dates. Most were pretty much a waste of time as I could have cared less. I was just going thru the motions, so I changed my approach. I focused my energy inwards and threw myself into my hobbies. I have been running, xc skiing, cycling, and hitting the gym. I am probably in the best physical shape that I have been in over the last 4 years.

 

I traveled to Europe last summer for a great cycling vacation (and drinking a good amount of beer). Through all this I have felt like something was still missing.

 

Bad dates only made me think of her and how easy our relationship started. Great times only reminded me that I was not sharing these activities with someone special. I have normally been very comfortable on my own. In fact, I think I prefer it a little too much. Since the ex and I broke up, these times alone have been much more difficult. But, I am doing as you are and just moving forward...day by day. I think that is all we can really do.

 

One question for you: Do you feel good about yourself these days in such a way that you are showing an inner confidence to others? This is something I have had to really work on lately as my head was just not in the game. I know others pick up on this especially in the dating scene. I would say keep focusing on yourself and the rest will take care of itself.

 

Good luck!

[wowIlose]

Hey biker, I feel ya buddy. I am so fed up with feeling the way I feel that I am actually angry - not at her or anyone else but myself for not moving on already. Its like a sickness I can't get over. I feel the only way I will be able to get over her is once I meet someone better, someone I will be able to create the same type of memories and maybe even better memories. I mean I know once I connect on a level like that with someone new then maybe I will finally move on. Its the only thing that hasn't happened yet -so it obviously makes me wonder.

 

I feel good about myself as a person. I feel I am confident. Inexperienced but confident. I am new to dating but I don't sit there talking about my ex, I keep things light. I try to find out about her. I really don't know what went wrong with this one girl and I am not one to over analyze(at least not as much as I used to). It is an online dating website that is free. One girl I went out with admitted to me she gets 15 messages a day from guys.

 

Seeing how the girl I thought was into me is attractive, young and smart I can only assume she gets 15 messages a day. I try to put myself in her shoes. Having 15 girls messaging me every day, even if I had a great date my selection is so large and the odds of meeting someone more fun or simply having a better date is pretty good. So maybe she met someone shortly after she met me and liked that person more. I honestly dont know, but I suspect this because the date really wasn't bad. I really felt we had a good vibe unless women are just really good at pretending or are just being nice. I don't know anymore.

 

.. but I am not giving up. I haven't been messaging people on as much anymore and I even passed up on meeting up with one girl because I got burnt out but I think persistence is key. I suspect it won't be easy to meet someone to date on an online dating website but seeing how my real life has 0 opportunity to meet new people because of the nature of my job(office) and no school it really is the only viable option next to cold approaching people on the street which honestly is not my style at all.

 

Its a bit depressing- I can't help but feel down after constant failure and feeling stuck. But I haven't completely given up- I am going to keep trying because its the only thing I can really do anymore.

[Biker2007]

Wow,

 

You must have felt the same about your ex as I did. I was crazy about my ex. This sucks, but it simply takes time. I am embarrassed to say that I am stuck on somebody that I knew for a very short time...just a few months.

 

On the surface, she was everything I could have asked for in a woman. I am not one to believe in love at first sight, but I will admit the thought was definitely running through my head after the first few weeks w/ my ex. I am old enough to know the first few months can seem perfect, but I it takes time to really get to know someone. I suppose I looked past some of the red flags I saw: insecurity, selfishness, and temper tantrums (lacked maturity). I'll have to go back and read your situation for the details, but did you see any red flags that in hindsight you know you should have done something about?

 

I have thought about "meeting someone to get over my ex". I suppose that is why I tried to get back into the dating scene very quickly. However, I started to really think this could be a bad idea (at least for me). I was afraid I would start dating someone just because I wanted to forget my ex...and I did not want to hurt anyone else (I had made that mistake in my past). My only advice here is make sure you start dating somebody for the right reason...as you know how much it hurts to have your heart messed with.

 

As far as the on-line dating goes, don't get too worked up about it (I know, easier said than done). I have had dates from on-line web sites that were great and then hear nothing from the girl. Also, I once had a friend that found out he was on a date w/ a girl that had lined up 4 other dates for the same day...so,if you go the on-line route just be a little cautious and keep it light.

 

For the moment, I have stopped the on-line sites and just plan to do things I enjoy. Normally, this is when I am the most relaxed, happy, and confident about myself. Whichever route you go, just enjoy things and remember the lessons you have learned from this experience (and the others to come).

[ninjaturtles]

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[BackonTrack2]

Ok Romantcs enough is enough.

 

A) Dude, your going to have to make it your Mission to fawk something, anything. Thats mission 1.

 

b) Mission 2 is to realize its OVER, who cares, whatever, thats life, move on now. Who cares how many dudes she's having sex with, she's not yours, never was, thats why she left.

 

The time you've spent together, was good, but its over now, like 5th grade, then you went to 6th and 7th and so on, and son.

 

16 months or 1.5 years = LONG, thats a long time. I'm sure there are females out there whom want to have sex with you.

 

You are still struggling because deep down you don't want to move on and you haven't even probably taken the time to build a bond with another female. Getting over someone just doesn't happen, just like that, its an active process, like when you met the person and fell in love with them, you did things, you went out, got closer, yada yada, yada....

 

 

So now, you have to MOVE ON, go out, talk with other females, just get COOL with them, spend time, and let nature do its course, if you don't actively try to rid yourself of this female, well, your going to be the dude thats posting on internet website, still romantaicizing about his ex, feeling depressed and sorry for himself... Oh wait a minute.. You are that dude...

 

Damn dude, why would you want to be that dude??? Don't be that dude......

 

Its not a good look, and I don't even know you but I feel sorry for you and others can sense this, so they probably pity you secretly.... Thats bad... You'll never get any pussy like that.....

[ninjaturtles]

The last 16 months of my life have been a real test. I am not going to lie and pretend its all been bad. Some good things have happened since the break up. That being said, nothing came without me putting in my all to improve my situation. Despite some advancements I have made for myself in life there has not been a day since the break up that I have felt "normal".

 

It's hard to explain. I can get caught up in moments that make me feel good then when in complete solitude my mind won't let me forget the pain. My mind won't let me forget her. I have really tried letting go- I can say that with pure honesty. There has been moments where I sat there telling myself out loud "something has to give".

 

I told my friend the other day that maybe I have depression. He looked at me and said. "No you don't. Your just a sexually repressed guy". We laughed about it. But maybe hes right. I haven't had sex with anyone else in my life. She was my first and my last. I went from having sex on a regular basis for 4 years to nothing for the last 16 months. That can't be good for anybody's confidence. Meanwhile shes had sex with at least 2 different guys that I am aware of and no I am not snooping- this happened early after the break up when I was still in regular contact.

 

I did everything your supposed to after a break up. I did the gym thing- always was a gym guy but I was there 5 days a week really giving it my all. I worked harder- I got several promotions since the break up. I worked harder outside of work and got my own clients. Really tried to keep myself busy. I ended up getting out of debt and being able to buy a nice car. For a minimum of two months I went out with friends every single weekend. Drank and partied. I got new hobbies- damn I really did it all... the one area I have had constant failure in is trying to date again and maybe this is why I am still stuck here...??

 

I joined lavalife twice in 2008 - on both occasions I was unable to meet anyone on it. When I went out it was mostly clubs. I got a few numbers but it didn't result in anything. Thats the problem with clubs- everyone is drinking and so its easy to get a number but trying to get a date out of any of those numbers is pretty difficult.

 

The only two girls that showed interest in me was one of my best friends EX that broke his heart- and seeing how I was coming from the same stuff i didn't even think twice and I left that alone before it became anything. Then the other girl was one of my other good friends current girlfriend. Of course I left it alone. I even laughed at the whole situation, it was great knowing I was attracting these girls but they where off-limits. I felt I was being taunted by life- as if life was pointing a finger at me and laughing in my face.

 

Then recently I joined up on a different free dating site. To my surprise I was able to meet 7 girls on it in a span of 1 month. I was feeling good. There was 2 girls of those 7 that gave me great initial interest, one girl in particular that I took a liking to and could see myself dating never got back to me after the first date despite everything going extremely well and her even asking me where I want to go with her next. I mean I felt good- I felt it was my break. She was attractive, she was smart and she gave me all the signs of liking me. When I never heard from her again it really confused me and did nothing to help my whole situation.

 

I recently went out with a friend thats still a friend of my exes. We had a good night, had some pictures and they went up on facebook. Now keep in mind I have to this point been in NC with my ex for 6-7 months. For whatever reason I unblocked her on my facebook knowing she would see me in these photos... I dont know why I did this. But when these photos went up she ended up requesting me as a friend. I didn't add her- except a week later I got weak and ended up hitting accept.... after close to 7 months of NC ugh. I didn't send her a message of anything so technically we still haven't spoken since me going hard NC. Its only been a few days but I am wondering if this was the right move.

 

Either way- I just needed to vent. I know it sounds like I am whining and complaining but that isn't my purpose. Writing this stuff out is theraputical.I wonder how much longer before I break this nasty slump. People always say "start dating". I feel like I've been ready to date for at least 6 months minimum except for whatever reason I just can't meet anyone. I feel drained after 7 different dates in one month and 0 results and no I am not looking for reasons for these things to not workout - I am looking for any excuse to like anyone these days. I want to move on so badly but the opportunities just aren't there.

 

Ok I am done. Thanks for reading.

 

Hey!!!! In my opinion, the only way you will be able to COMPLETELY move on, would be to meet someone new. There is still a void in you that is yet to be replaced. You have done everything required in the books, but those activities are incapable of filling the void. Some people are able to move on without replacing their exes. Others find it more difficult. I do not long for ex and I am not in pain per say. However, there is void in me waiting to be replaced with someone deeper than what I shared with my ex. How else am I supposed to completely move on? My last memories are of him. You are doing great however!!! Be optimistic, one day this will all be a distant memory.

[BackonTrack2]

Don't listen to this female, she's a female. Listen to MEN.

 

Forget what you've said, yes there is a VOID in you, whatever, 16 months = TOOO LONG, if this was maybe 2 months, OK... 5 months.. OK... 6 months.. OK... 8 months.. OK.... 1 year... Hrm... Getting worried, 13 months, ewww, really worried, 14 months, ok... somethings wrong... 16 months GOD DAMN.........

 

NO!!!! Dude if she was your first, that means you were a virgin and i must tell you sex is easy to get, girls are so easy, soo soo easy, just be yourself.... they will give you pussy and NO YOU DON'T have to have another to move on, thats horse ****.

 

All you have to do is FILL that time you've one spent with the EX doing something else, like masturbating, or reading a book, or, NOT POSTING on this forum talking about how you can't move on, OR, I don't know, a puzzle, do something, something, anything,, run outside naked, who cares.....

 

What I'm trying to say, is YOU, have to make YOURSELF move on, YOU have to deciede within YOURSELF, enough is ENOUGH, forget all that fancy talk about filling a void, yada, yada, even though its True, BUT still, like i said before, your #1 mission in LIFE at this point in time should be to go outside and fawk something, anything.

 

If you want to get technical, your body is accustomed to that certain female, like breathing, sort of, and your sex drive and sex organs is accustomed to her Virginia, or that feeling of her Virgina, but I don't know, if you know, ALL GIRLS have one, and its the SAME feeling, (some are loose, some are tight, some are more wet than others, some you like, some you don't, some your like "what the hell was I thinking") what will happen is, it will just KNOCK that last remanding physiological attachment/dependency form your subconsciousness that you have stored in memory (that you don't even know you have stored in memory) towards your ex.

 

Thats only one part of it, the physical aspect of it, then lets not forget about the emotional depedency you had intertwine with her as well as just her general presence. You have to knock out all fascists of that female from your life, step by step.

 

The most IMPORTANT KEY though, maybe would be the bond you establish with another (that's going to be hard)

 

Don't be that dude, that post(s) on a internet website about his ex girlfriend whom he loved so much but left him and is now having sex with others and how he can't forget and yada yada, blah blah... Don't be that dude man..... You want to be that DUDE??? You know you are THAT GUY right?? Thats you.....

 

Go out there and make it your goal in life to have sex with any female within viewing range, that's your age and find attractive.... Those are your criteria(s), keep it simple, your on a mission.

---

 

As to your comments, its been 16 months, DATE!! You will not hurt anyone, nope, they won't get hurt, just date, establish relationships, get closer, stop being scared, get some pussy, make a friend in process.

 

And datting is EASY, there is only ONE KEY, that is BE YOURSELF, BE who YOU ARE, don't try to fake it, BE WHO YOU ARE, girls will like that its so simple... Like math, 1+1=2

 

Good Luck

[ninjaturtles]

Don't listen to this female, she's a female. Listen to MEN.

 

Forget what you've said, yes there is a VOID in you, whatever, 16 months = TOOO LONG, if this was maybe 2 months, OK... 5 months.. OK... 6 months.. OK... 8 months.. OK.... 1 year... Hrm... Getting worried, 13 months, ewww, really worried, 14 months, ok... somethings wrong... 16 months GOD DAMN.........

 

NO!!!! Dude if she was your first, that means you were a virgin and i must tell you sex is easy to get, girls are so easy, soo soo easy, just be yourself.... they will give you pussy and NO YOU DON'T have to have another to move on, thats horse ****.

 

All you have to do is FILL that time you've one spent with the EX doing something else, like masturbating, or reading a book, or, NOT POSTING on this forum talking about how you can't move on, OR, I don't know, a puzzle, do something, something, anything,, run outside naked, who cares.....

 

What I'm trying to say, is YOU, have to make YOURSELF move on, YOU have to deciede within YOURSELF, enough is ENOUGH, forget all that fancy talk about filling a void, yada, yada, even though its True, BUT still, like i said before, your #1 mission in LIFE at this point in time should be to go outside and fawk something, anything.

 

If you want to get technical, your body is accustomed to that certain female, like breathing, sort of, and your sex drive and sex organs is accustomed to her Virginia, or that feeling of her Virgina, but I don't know, if you know, ALL GIRLS have one, and its the SAME feeling, (some are loose, some are tight, some are more wet than others, some you like, some you don't, some your like "what the hell was I thinking") what will happen is, it will just KNOCK that last remanding physiological attachment/dependency form your subconsciousness that you have stored in memory (that you don't even know you have stored in memory) towards your ex.

 

Thats only one part of it, the physical aspect of it, then lets not forget about the emotional depedency you had intertwine with her as well as just her general presence. You have to knock out all fascists of that female from your life, step by step.

 

The most IMPORTANT KEY though, maybe would be the bond you establish with another (that's going to be hard)

 

Don't be that dude, that post(s) on a internet website about his ex girlfriend whom he loved so much but left him and is now having sex with others and how he can't forget and yada yada, blah blah... Don't be that dude man..... You want to be that DUDE??? You know you are THAT GUY right?? Thats you.....

 

Go out there and make it your goal in life to have sex with any female within viewing range, that's your age and find attractive.... Those are your criteria(s), keep it simple, your on a mission.

---

 

As to your comments, its been 16 months, DATE!! You will not hurt anyone, nope, they won't get hurt, just date, establish relationships, get closer, stop being scared, get some pussy, make a friend in process.

 

And datting is EASY, there is only ONE KEY, that is BE YOURSELF, BE who YOU ARE, don't try to fake it, BE WHO YOU ARE, girls will like that its so simple... Like math, 1+1=2

 

Good Luck

 

LOL!! He shouldn't listen to me. Lol. I do agree with your post. However random sex may not be the answer. Suppose he indulges in random sex and it starts to remind him of 'the love he made with his ex'. In my opinion, he should date a girl he likes, not just look for random girls to sleep with. :-0 . Well I am female so I guess you understand these things better.lol. Actually, wowilose maybe you could try that. (Bacon's suggestion). It's possible it would help. Go on and get laid. It might help.

[wowIlose]

Hey bacon. I get your point and even though its been 16 months (yes a long ****in time) I still feel I've made progress. I don't post here a lot. I am not that guy trust me. I came here to post to let out some frustration because I know exactly what needs to happen but its simply not happening. Maybe you don't understand my dilemma.. I am trying to get laid bud lol.. I am obviously understanding this is a necessary step to move on. Yes, I know I am more than capable of getting laid as well BUT I am not going to do it with a girl I am not at the very least physically attracted to... I don't want to **** some girl just for the sake of ****ing some girl... Unless shes ATTRACTIVE to ME. I have had maybe 2 or 3 chances with girls that just were not my type.. girls I was not very attracted to at all. Could of had sex but I am glad I didn't because I would of felt like **** after. I am not sloping down to screwing just any girl, I know it won't help me... it will make me feel worse. What do you think I will think after? I already know - "Wow, is this what its come down to? ****ing girls I don't even think are attractive... so sad".

 

That being said.. yes i need to get laid .. I know this dude LOL, but its not that simple and no I am not being picky... I work out 5 days a week, I am in great shape, I take care of myself and look good so I expect the same from my sexual partners. Its also not THAT easy. It may be for you - you may have some crazy confidence and girls start undressing themselves in 5 minutes from meeting you... I dont have that, at least not yet. The concept of casual sex with a random person I just met is foreign to me and doesn't even feel like something possible - though I am sure it is more than possible I just need to get there. Anywho thanks for the advice but please dont place me as THAT guy.. I may still have feelings towards my first love but I think thats understandable givin my sitaution and its not like I am on forums trying to get her back.. I am trying to move on so give me some credit here

[lonelygurl]

Don't listen to this female, she's a female. Listen to MEN.

 

Forget what you've said, yes there is a VOID in you, whatever, 16 months = TOOO LONG, if this was maybe 2 months, OK... 5 months.. OK... 6 months.. OK... 8 months.. OK.... 1 year... Hrm... Getting worried, 13 months, ewww, really worried, 14 months, ok... somethings wrong... 16 months GOD DAMN.........

 

"

 

Everyone grieves differently

 

Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried – and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.

 

 

MYTH: Grief should last about a year.

Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.

 

 

 

Grief is a roller coaster, not a series of stages

 

It is best not to think of grief as a series of stages. Rather, we might think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer. The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss. Even years after a loss, especially at special events such as a family wedding or the birth of a child, we may still experience a strong sense of grief.

Source: Hospice Foundation of America

 

 

 

 

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

[mousse]

Hey wowilose,

 

I remember your story well. I just wanted to say that you shouldn't worry about those feelings you have, or think that you're moving on too slowly because I think they're part of the process of completely healing. My break up happened 2 years ago now but I still find myself missing my ex from time to time, because just like you I haven't been able to find someone that attracted me as much as he did. I did hook up with two guys since the break up, but it didn't help healing the pain. My pain healed because I slowly accepted the break up, not because I went out with other people.

 

I think you'll stop missing your ex when you find someone new that can make you feel completely fulfilled, like you did in your last relationship. This takes time, because finding a person that can match you on all levels is rare. It's not something that just happens every month, so you shouldn't feel bad about not being in a new relationship, I personally feel there aren't that many people that could be great match for us. Continue living your life, doing new activities, meeting new people, as other posters said, I think you're doing great. One day, when the time is right and that you're fully ready for it, you'll meet someone new and start another great relationship.

 

All the best.