Author missmich Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 Are we allowed to say the B word here? I'll just use the BRAT for now since that one also works! Holy crap! What a spoiled little brat she is! We had another chat tonight and really surprised me with some of what she told me. I knocked on her door when I got home,just after 9pm t say hi,happy birthday etc... as I always do when I get home or when she comes in. It's freaken normal to say "hi,how was your day at school/work/etc...? when you live with someone. Right? That's what I thought. She was mad cuz I asked if they were rich since she could shop almost daily! LOL Yeah,ok maybe that should not have been asked. lol Well we were having normal small talk and I asked a question about why she keeps all her receipts (someone told me about some bonus at tax time when you pay with credit card and I was curious) and she sorta explained it to me. I left and came back a few minutes later to ask if she bought toilette paper and she said no. She looked angry and was counting her stupid receipts (all 200 of them lol) and so I had to ask what was wrong. She was like how did you know where I keep them? LOL OMG I said I saw her put them there one time. So I thought this was the perfect time to sit down for another chat. She told me that I ask to many personal questions and that in Korean it's very rude to ask about her family or her boyfriend unless they are close friends. Well,since I've never been to Korea I said I didn't know that so it wasn't fare to be mad at me for that. Then she sometimes she is scared of me! Um,ok what do I do that scares her? I want to know I said so I don't do it again. Also I'm a nanny and it's important that I'm not doing anything scary with the kids I care for. She wasn't able to tell me what I did that was scary though. She says I worry about her to much,so I said ok I will not do that anymore. I will not warn her that getting a 3 year contract for a cell when she is here for just 7 months is a dumb idea. I will not educate her on how to rent an apartment here either....you sign a lease for 1 year and if you break you pay! lol I will stop giving her good advice about things when I think she will find trouble anymore. I said since we will live together until March 24th (unless I find a new roommate before then) we must be civil so I asked what boundries she would like. Well,seh doesn't want me to ask her how school is anymore or to knock on her door at all or talk to her! That isn't really the definition of civil though. :confused:But whatever! I did knock on her door once more after our chat! Boy was I mad at her for doing something stupid and wastefull! She had tried to make some fermented garlic and I noticed the garlic had turned blue,it was so pretty Tonight AFTER I tied up the garbage bag and had it ready for her to take out tomorrow she tossed the garlic in the new bag! So now I had to put that new bag in the garbage with just the garlic in it b/c I really didn't want that stinky and moly stuff sitting in my kitchen for a week! I told her next time to throw something out before I get the garbage ready! Man she was being so stupid! I didn't say that,but I did tell her to think about things more next time and use more common sence. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 Please believe me when I tell you I truly am not trying to rub your nose in it, but you see now what I meant about the Worzel Gummidge head thing? You have to keep this side of things very business-like. Please, for your own sake and peace of mind, draw up a good rental agreement for future tenants and a little informal list of house rules to clip to it. Make sure you keep copies of everything, and sign all copies, together. Dated, too..... Good Luck. No,I understand what you meant and I should have had something written. I just wasn't thinking in that way. I didn't get the feeling that we would need a written agreement. I will make one up now though for the next person. Link to post Share on other sites
jasminetea Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 I will make one up now though for the next person. Well that's a good lesson learned then May I suggest you bite your tongue very hard for the next few weeks while she's still with you. The fallout from getting mad over things like throwing garlic away at the wrong time just isn't going to be worth it for you. I know it seems so unfair to hold your tongue when someone behaves badly, but taking the high road in these matters always pays off. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 While the Korean girl sounds very painful, I wouldn't want to live with you either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 Really Enema? Why not? Link to post Share on other sites
Jenny123 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 I have had a few room mates, a few ended badly. Tips: Rules!!!!, preferences- said from the start. (it's then not taken as personal attack). Don't Tip-toe, If something has to be said, diplomacy used. Don't get too involved, stay at a friendly but seperate lives relationship. Live with your own culture. Found it easier myself- no misunderstanding's! Share electricity, heating bills. Pick some-one similar age. If you don't mind me saying, I wouldn't appreciate constant knocks on doors.That is their room & seeking privacy. Good luck GEISHAWELK advising straight to the point:) Link to post Share on other sites
citizen67 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 "The problem with her staying up late at night is that she is very tired in the morning and sleeps late and then rushes around in the morning and makes a lot of noise in the process. Her freaken alarm went off at 6:30am" I was with you until that part - you can't have rules like "you can't stay up late and rush around in the morning". Apparently you are perfect. The electricity, ok fine, I see your point. I think you want someone quiet as a mouse - Oh and what business is it of yours how much $ her parents send her , or what she buys? I hope you don't charge alot of rent Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted February 12, 2009 Author Share Posted February 12, 2009 If you don't mind me saying, I wouldn't appreciate constant knocks on doors.That is their room & seeking privacy. Yes,her room is private and that's why I knocked on the door instead of just walking in. It may seem from the posts that I knock on her door and interupt her constantly,but I actually don't. Sometimes there's something I need to ask her or say to her and I need to go to her room cuz that's where she is most of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted February 12, 2009 Author Share Posted February 12, 2009 "The problem with her staying up late at night is that she is very tired in the morning and sleeps late and then rushes around in the morning and makes a lot of noise in the process. Her freaken alarm went off at 6:30am" I was with you until that part - you can't have rules like "you can't stay up late and rush around in the morning". Apparently you are perfect. The electricity, ok fine, I see your point. I think you want someone quiet as a mouse - Oh and what business is it of yours how much $ her parents send her , or what she buys? I hope you don't charge alot of rent I don't have the rule of "you can't stay up late and then rush around in the morning" at all. She can stay up all night if she wants to,hell it's after midnight right now and I'm on the net cuz I just got off work and will go to bed in an hour,but I am being quiet,only the sound of my keyboard. Tomorrow I'll sleep in late and won't be in a rush and making a lot of noise. The problems with her rushing around in early morning are: I can hear her alarm go off at 6:30am for 10-20 (loud music) She slams the door when she comes out of her room,stomps her feet on the way to the bathroom and slams the bathroom door. In the kitchen she slams the micro wave door shut and knocks things around,opens and shuts the fridge loudly a few times and slams things down on the counter. Runs down the hallway to the door and shuts that loudly as well. I don't expect anyone to be quiet as church mice at all at anytime,BUT when you share a space with someone you should use common courtesy about noise when others are sleeping. I feel I charge a very fair amount for rent. I ask for $380 (Canadian) and that includes heat,hot water,electricity,local calls and wireless internet.The room is furnished with a bed,desk,chair,dresser,table and 2 lamps and also bedding and towels. She buys her own food,but I share my salt,pepper,spices and tea. I also have a basket in the bathroom full of lotion and body wash and bubble bath that roommates are welcome to if they want to use it. I have tons of it so I like to offer it just to be nice. On the desk in the room is a bunch of info about the city. On her first day here we went for a walk and I showed her around the area so she'd know where all the shops were and showed her around the grocery store even. No,it isn't my business how much money her parents send or what she buys at all. I shouldn't have asked that question,but I was curious and also being a little bit sarcastic towards her. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 When you live in a space, and it's your space, and you let part of it for whatever reason, there have to be extremely clear and defined boundaries right from the outset. If you are going to put a roof over someone's head, and ask for financial restitution, both sides have a right to know precisely what's what, why and when. As the owner or main tenant, missmich has an obligation towards her tenants, but as paying guests in her environment, they also have obligations towards her, and as such should be held accountable, if those requirements are not met. If missmich is wise, (and I think she is) she will prepare a legal tenancy document (if it's signed 'name-printed' and dated by both parties and agreed to, it's binding) together with a smaller informal document on living requirements, to be given to the next tenant. Nothing heavy, just something outlining house rules. If any are up for negotiation, this can be done at the time, and the rules amended, and initialled by both. For example, (not saying that this would be applicable) but a rule list requesting that all tenants be in by 1am would be inappropriate for someone working shifts.... so flexibility in this aspect would be good. But the Tenancy Agreement should have no room for manoevre..... You can tell I've done this before, can't you....? Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted February 12, 2009 Author Share Posted February 12, 2009 You do give good advice GW! I was very clear with my boundries before she moved in and I should have written them down and had her sign an agreement. I will be very reasonable with what my boundries are and will make sure the next roommate knows beforehand what to expect so there are no surprises and so they can't say "oh but I didn't know that". I will be very fair and flexiable. For example b/c the light and noise in the kitchen bother me when I sleep at night or early in the am I don't want cooking going on at certain hours,but if you do get home late please make a sandwhich,get some cereal or heat some leftovers in the micro wave,but be quiet. I don't want either of to go to bed hungry. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 I'm trying to keep the peace here and be nice to her until she leaves. Also tomorrow is her birthday. Tonight I knocked on her door to ask her to sign the little agreement we made and she ignored me! So she is not trying to even be civil. We'll see how it goes tomorrow. Seriously missmich is the money shes giving you worth all this crap? sounds like shes a spoiled brat just think about it who pays for everything for her why mommy and daddy doesn't that ring a alarm bell for you?? Long as she wants to go make it easy and ditch her just make sure she squares up with what ever back rent if any. And just let the rest future moneys go why drag out till almost the end of march? Common I'm sure you can replace her in no time I wouldn't think there would be a shortage of possible options lil advice tho try an older one maybe less bulls**t and more maturity is always a bonus!.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missmich Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 Oh,she's gone now! She came home one day and started to YELL at me about something so I told her to get her shoes and we were going to the bank machine so she can get her refund and get OUT now,that night. I knew she wouldn't leave unless I gave her a full refund so that's the only reason I gave it all back. Then when she was packing her stuff she attempted to kick my cat!!! Luckily I was there to see what she was about to do or my poor boy would have been kicked in the tummy! He loves to go in her room and her door was open b/c I was there talking to her and he ran in. After she left I cleaned her room from top to bottom and washed the bedding and noticed that she stained my sheets so 1 had to be tossed! I had helped her pack the kitchen stuff and she unpacked it all and repacked it,how immature! There was much drama! Now I have a new room rental agreement for the next person I have here. It sadly includes things like "no yelling,hitting or name calling" and "kicking the cats" among other things. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Well, maybe you don't need to go that far, because they are after all social niceties, and not really part and parcel of the nitty-gritty aspect of rentral agreement, but you do need to tell people that there is a cat in the house (allergies) but that other pets are not allowed, or if they are, if caged, they have to be kept clean and smell-free, and that if they also have a cat, it has to get on with yours, or they can't stay.... I'm sorry she proved to be so traumatic, and hoipefully, she'll have a miserable time where she's going now. I truly hope your next tenant turns out to be wonderful. Best of luck, keep us posted..... And be firm and business-like from the outset. This doesn't mean being cold and unfriendly. It just means doing business as it should be done! Link to post Share on other sites
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