shing198 Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I am a f.o.b from China and recently I am attracted by a Canadian girl in my class(I'm going university) Well...I don't know how this happens, but I found out she may also notice me(not sure about that). So, I just decide to talk to her of which I never approach a girl like this before Finally, I did talk to her, but I think it's not a good chat. Maybe it's because of my bad English. Anyway, it seems that she didn't really want to talk to me and answered with only one or two words, then she just talked to my friend who just waiting for me(he's a Canadian) instead. By the way, I just add her facebook and find out she's not the girl I thought. She just like always goes to party and drink a lot every weekend. It may be quite normal in Canadian culture, but she's just really different form what I obsever in class. Personally, I don't go party and drink and I am not looking for girls of this kind because it gives me a sense of insecurity. Then my question comes to this.......should I just give it up because our culture and lifestyle are so different? or keep going to approach her since I finally can a little bit contact with her?
Island Girl Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Then my question comes to this.......should I just give it up because our culture and lifestyle are so different? Yes. You should give it up. What you like to do does not match up with what she likes to do. You should find a girl that likes the same things. Cultural differences can be worked out and sometimes can be something that actually draws two people together. But you have to have some common ground with how you spend your time. Otherwise what will you do when you are together? Just find someone else and your English is pretty good here. You may have a thicker accent but you can keep working on that. Good luck.
runner Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 why is this a troll thread ? sounds like the other query threads around here. anyways: i'd say the OP would be happier finding a girl who shares his values.
Author shing198 Posted February 8, 2009 Author Posted February 8, 2009 I am serious and it's really my situation. Well.......most of my friend (they are Chinese) just say let it go because the girl and I are so different. But some friend (also Chinese) also say to me that I will never understand a girl unless you know her more. So, I'm just wondering how non-asian people think about this issue and give me some suggestions.
Island Girl Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I am not Asian and my husband is a F.O.B. Tongan Does that help?
Author shing198 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 it helps a lot and i'm really appreciate of it, thanks!!!!! by the way, how do you overcome the cultural and lifestyle differnece with your husband? I mean although you two may have something in the same interest, I guess there may be somethings different between you and your husband because both of you were grown up in different environment and have different mindset.
Author shing198 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 btw, I didn't mean to limit any people to answer my question. but I already heard from asian prespective, so I want to how others think. and I'm appreciate that everyone to answer the question, no matter where you from
Island Girl Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 by the way, how do you overcome the cultural and lifestyle differnece with your husband? I mean although you two may have something in the same interest, I guess there may be somethings different between you and your husband because both of you were grown up in different environment and have different mindset. There are some things we have had to work out. For instance, in Tonga it is common that people freely give resources to assist each other while here in America we tend to hold on to what we have and take care of ourselves first - then any "additional" resources are given to help others. We have had to work out certain things and come to an understanding that we come from two very different perspectives so we have had to work on a lot of middle ground. However, there are ways that my husband's culture and the way he was brought up are exactly what I need in my life. The center around family and the importance of one's spouse (especially husband to wife as they are a matriarchal society) are unbelievably perfect. I really couldn't ask for a better match for myself.
zenith Posted February 9, 2009 Posted February 9, 2009 I am serious and it's really my situation. Well.......most of my friend (they are Chinese) just say let it go because the girl and I are so different. But some friend (also Chinese) also say to me that I will never understand a girl unless you know her more. So, I'm just wondering how non-asian people think about this issue and give me some suggestions. OK, if this is a serious thread, here is my opinion. If you like the girl, and if she likes you back, there should be no problem dating. Treat everyone as an individual; don't try to group them according to their background... I don't know what kind of Chinese friends you have, but from my experience from Uni, a lot of Chinese guys get drunk and have fun like any other people. So my point is.... just be social and enjoy, man!
Author shing198 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 There are some things we have had to work out. For instance, in Tonga it is common that people freely give resources to assist each other while here in America we tend to hold on to what we have and take care of ourselves first - then any "additional" resources are given to help others. We have had to work out certain things and come to an understanding that we come from two very different perspectives so we have had to work on a lot of middle ground. However, there are ways that my husband's culture and the way he was brought up are exactly what I need in my life. The center around family and the importance of one's spouse (especially husband to wife as they are a matriarchal society) are unbelievably perfect. I really couldn't ask for a better match for myself. I'm glad to hear about your story and hope that both of you have a sweet and happy life.
Author shing198 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Posted February 9, 2009 OK, if this is a serious thread, here is my opinion. If you like the girl, and if she likes you back, there should be no problem dating. Treat everyone as an individual; don't try to group them according to their background... I don't know what kind of Chinese friends you have, but from my experience from Uni, a lot of Chinese guys get drunk and have fun like any other people. So my point is.... just be social and enjoy, man! Thank you for understanding my situation. I do social with people, but I mean I just don't social in that way, like party and drinking. I don't mean it's bad, but it's just not for me.
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