mj_girliegurl Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Hi, everyone! So, over new year's eve, I finally told my best guy friend (also my neighbor who lives a few houses away) that I liked him and he said he liked me back. I was so excited and we discussed the idea of a LDR, because he goes to college where we live and I go to college 3 hours away. Since classes started a month ago, I've been back to visit him a couple of weekends in his dorm room mostly (and failed to mention that part to my parents). The thing is, this is my first serious relationship and sometimes I do question the distance just because it's so new. I'm normally a very shy person and around him I'm so not as shy and it's amazing how comfortable I am with this guy. Anyways, even when we were friends (for maybe 4 years now) we would talk on aim mostly. Now that we are in a relationship, he comes online to to talk for 30 min to an hour at night when he can. We also text each other once a day when possible (i have a 250 limit so yeah) We're really not phone people, but I feel like that might help with the distance. Any tips on that? My other problem is that he's so busy with practicing for a team he is on at school, and doing homework aside from that, that I feel like I'm the one who is not being as independent as I should be. I try to spend time with my friends, but I miss him so much when we're apart from each other. After spring break, he won't be busy anymore so we've been talking about seeing each other more. The thing is, pretty soon after we started dating, he also mentioned that he is going to be working at a summer camp for 10 weeks over the summer and there is no way we'd be able to see each other. I live in the south and this camp would be way up north. I know he's just being honest and I respect that but I don't know how I can go 10 weeks without seeing him, it will be very hard. I love spending time with him but when we're apart I miss him when I stop to think about him. Any advice on making this LDR easier? Also, since he's so busy at school all the time, I feel like he's better at not missing me as much cause I guess he's just distracted and trying to get everything done. I'm working my hardest to keep up with my school work and be distracted too, but there are days when I just feel so depressed not being able to just physically be with him in person (and I don't mean that in a sexual way cause we're not at that point at this time). It's amazing how strong he's being about this distance and it just makes me feel bad that I'm not strong. Link to post Share on other sites
gracielou Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 try skype! My boyfriend is horrible at talking on the phone for lengthy periods of time, hes never really liked it and he has ADHD (although its unofficially diagnosed). When i moved out to california this summer we both decided to use skype since it helped him out, and it kept the cell phone bill down. Plus we get to see each other every night. Another thing my bf and i have done is set an hour aside every night to talk on skype. He is now a senior in college, i am a first year grad student so there are times we have to move the time with our busy schedules. Being 3hrs apart there are some nights where it just doesn't work to talk, but those are really rare nights. Idk if ur bf has unlimiting texting but if he does, you can always send him texts via aim. I do that because there are classrooms at my school that are dead zones. "but there are days when I just feel so depressed not being able to just physically be with him in person (and I don't mean that in a sexual way cause we're not at that point at this time). It's amazing how strong he's being about this distance and it just makes me feel bad that I'm not strong." I think that is completely normal, i know my boyfriend has become a seriously studious person since i left because that is the only thing that keeps his mind off the fact that im not there. I am busy through the day however when i come home to my apartment thats when i miss him the most. I have a great roommate but i never see her so i come home to an empty apartment. I miss my boyfriend the most when im falling asleep at night. I miss his arms holding me as i fall asleep and i can't tell you how many times ive cried while talking on skype with him or just having cried myself to sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mj_girliegurl Posted February 8, 2009 Author Share Posted February 8, 2009 Thanks! I'm glad to know I'm not alone in the crying at night sometimes. I know what you mean, I love it when we hold each other at night when we're sleeping and I miss that when I go to sleep at night. I'll have to mention skype to him. Is that free? Where do I go? Thanks again, I really appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
gracielou Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Skype is completely free as long as your not calling an actual phone number. All you need is a microphone and a web cam(well only if you want to see each other) The website is just http://www.skype.com. If you don't have a web cam you can get one pretty cheap through them, tho the quality isn't great it however totally does the trick, I used it until i got my macbook. The set up with skype is really easy , its like aim in that you need a screenname and a password. To "call someone" all you do is double click on their sn. Link to post Share on other sites
gracielou Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 oh another thing my boyfriend and i have started doing is watching a TV show together. We are both highly amused by the VH1 show tool academy so every sunday we watch it together since VH1 shows it at 7PT and 10ET it works perfectly to watch it. Some of my other friends in grad school who are also doing the LDR thing will actually skpe while watching a TV show, mike n i tend to chat via aim and skype after. Its a matter of finding something that works for you as a couple Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Skype is my lifeline to my guy as well, although we don't have webcams. We play Warcraft and just use headsets with a microphone - works out great for us. Plus you can surf the web together - we've spent hours linking websites, youtube clips, even free online games (it was fun challenging each other to a flash game and see who got the high score). Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 oh another thing my boyfriend and i have started doing is watching a TV show together. We are both highly amused by the VH1 show tool academy so every sunday we watch it together since VH1 shows it at 7PT and 10ET it works perfectly to watch it. Some of my other friends in grad school who are also doing the LDR thing will actually skpe while watching a TV show, mike n i tend to chat via aim and skype after. Its a matter of finding something that works for you as a couple Skype is my lifeline to my guy as well, although we don't have webcams. We play Warcraft and just use headsets with a microphone - works out great for us. Plus you can surf the web together - we've spent hours linking websites, youtube clips, even free online games (it was fun challenging each other to a flash game and see who got the high score). Very good ideas you guys. There is so much available to us now with technology. I wish: 1. My man had a computer. 2. He knew how to use one. (He is afraid of breaking them) LOL Link to post Share on other sites
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