I don't know

[cbr1000fr]

Hello all-

 

So I don't know where I am. Background- I have been with this girl for about five years. We started off terrible. We had a few dates and I stumbled across another girl who I had a few dates with as well. Complicated both with sex and each of them found out. I was straight forward with the second girl. She knew I had been dating another girl when we hooked up and went out. Things happened and it ended. Period. The first girl I ended up staying with. I should clarify. She ended up moving in with me shortly after the second girl. That was five years ago.

On and off good times. I have not been the best person for her in her eyes. She has not been the best person for me in my eyes. I've been horrible to her in some ways and vice versa.

Last year we broke up and I moved out. I lived with a friend of mine for about 6+ months. I ended up moving back in after we talked and thought we agreed on certain things. Turns out we had not "agreed". Bad times again. As it turned out she started seeing her boss at her work and didn't come home some nights and told me she was staying at a girlfriends of hers. The big thing with her is that she always told me how she could not trust me the entire time we were together. I had similar issues based on her only "friends" were guys. Many fights were about these issues. Anyway, She told me to get out by Christmas Day or she was going to call the cops on me and have me arrested. I've been in trouble before and couldn't risk the threat. I moved back out and now am living by myself.

Now here's the kicker. We recently have been talking again and have seen each other a couple of times. I am torn. I have grown to be in love with this woman the time we were together and am having a hard time thinking I should move on and start over. My friends and family say I should kick her to the curb and find another. She by far is the most beautiful girl I have ever been with. A mother of three. Very talented in many ways and I enjoy being with her more than anyone else when things are going well.

Now thinking with other than my second brain I have much worry. In the time we have talked since I left the second time we have had arguements. Holding cheating on her five years ago over me yet she cheated on me in the end with her justifications that our relationship was in the ending stages. This may be to complicated to answer online but I would appreciate any suggestions I can work with. If any more info is desired to aid in these suggestions I will do my best. Thanks in advance.

G-

[Charles1978]

The whole situation seems pretty poisoned. It is hard, and the easy thing is to try to get back together. But your future happiness will be with someone else. The sooner you realize this, and the sooner you start looking for her, the better. I've had relationships in the past that had some cheating issues... it is not worth dealing with. Just move on.

[cbr1000fr]

Thanks-

 

I do know what you say. Guess I just needed to here it again.

 

G-

[hunkahunkaburninlove]

Find some one new. She can't be trusted.

[hunkahunkaburninlove]

Find some one new. She can't be trusted.

[voldigicam]

From an outsider's point of view, seems there's the key attraction. But stuff in the way. History and a need to grow up.

 

Oddly enough, after 16 years I still miss my ex wife. I'd probably say hi to her if I saw her. Wouldn't be a surprise if we'd hit it off again. Except for the current wife (she doesn't like sharing THAT much!).

 

Certainly a substantial cooling off period seems in order. I wouldn't live with her. I suggest getting stable somewhere else, living comfortably. Wouldn't hurt to "date" her, but keep options open and get your life in emotional, fiscal, and other order.

 

Just my view from outside.