calazhage Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Moving, exactly.. But maybe you are being far too logical.. Either a woman should: a. Contribute 50/50 financially. Every bill split. b. Or be taken care of 100%, and do 100% of the other things. Why on Earth should I pay most or all of the bills, and then also do half the housework. Are you kidding? Women will never know the feeling of being turned down for sex(ultimately what it is all about) because of having a lack of things. Nice car, nice condo clothes, etc. Men will never instantly disqualify you because of your earning power of lack of. Then also lie about how they really just want a nice woman, and don't care about money! Or hear them phrase "wanting money" 100 different ways, as though money is not important to them. Women can be so delusional at times. I knew a woman who joined every single "find a millionaire" type dating club, and she INSISTED money was not important to her. Link to post Share on other sites
BentSpine Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I would totally date a hot janitor You're alright, belladonna. Other women aren't wrong, to each their own. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Why would a young girl date an old guy in his thirties and older? Men should get more realistic. She must be doing it for cash because it's certainly not his aging looks. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Well tell this to all the female teachers who are screwing their young students and the droves of women dating and marrying younger men. Link to post Share on other sites
audrey_1 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 *sigh* Men with money aren't more attractive by default. I walked away from my engagement. I had a 2 ct. princess cut on my finger, an offer for a BMW Z4, a half million dollar home in an affluent suburb. On and on. But he was controlling. That is, would get suspicious and/or jealous if I went down the street to Starbucks with a girlfriend. And he could not satisfy me sexually. So he had to go, and he could take his wallet with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Sheesh - what kind of drama are all of you on? The OP posted about something he saw on the DISCOVERY channel -- and, as all know, the Discovery channel is the final arbiter of truth, eh? I have watched this thread with interest. I love how people get all religious about a science that is not yet a testable science -- evolutionary psychology. And proclaim how something they watched on TV or read in Newsweek or TIME magazine "the truth" when it is obvious that they themselves know nothing about the scientific method or statistics. Sigh. But, for all you evo psych speculators, the attraction of women to men with money diminishes with the woman's income, an inverse relationship - which suggests that as more womens' incomes rise, their interest in the "hotness" factor rises. (Yes, there are studies that say that too. You can google that as well.) Anyway, I am not particularly interested in debating the points of either view, but I would like to put myself out there as an "outlier." I left a man who made a lot of money because I did not love him, nor was I attracted to him. I did meet a man much later. When I met him he was a waiter, and I made three times his salary! He eventually did leave serving during our relationship, but I still made more money than him. I ended up marrying him after three years. Oh, and here's the kicker -- which puts me in the "outlier outlier" -- he is 11 years younger. So -- you have the man not going for youth AND a woman not going for money. Hmm. I think what people object to is stereotyping -- yes, there are goldiggers, etc -- but you can't use one study, or even several (or the Discovery channel) to say all people behave exactly this way. It is way too complicated than that. People hate being stereotyped, period --race, sex, gender, etc. You can point out generalities, and be open to argument -- but you cannot, ever, say ALL women that, ALL men want this or ALL black people want this or ALL whites need that. It just isn't useful. Thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 *sigh* Men with money aren't more attractive by default. I walked away from my engagement. I had a 2 ct. princess cut on my finger, an offer for a BMW Z4, a half million dollar home in an affluent suburb. On and on. But he was controlling. That is, would get suspicious and/or jealous if I went down the street to Starbucks with a girlfriend. And he could not satisfy me sexually. So he had to go, and he could take his wallet with him. I've been in the same situation. It seems the more money they have the worst they are in bed. That is why golddiggers marry rich and then screw around with the hot pool guy. Link to post Share on other sites
eclipseIDE Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Moving, exactly.. But maybe you are being far too logical.. Either a woman should: a. Contribute 50/50 financially. Every bill split. b. Or be taken care of 100%, and do 100% of the other things. Why on Earth should I pay most or all of the bills, and then also do half the housework. Are you kidding? Women will never know the feeling of being turned down for sex(ultimately what it is all about) because of having a lack of things. Nice car, nice condo clothes, etc. Men will never instantly disqualify you because of your earning power of lack of. Then also lie about how they really just want a nice woman, and don't care about money! Or hear them phrase "wanting money" 100 different ways, as though money is not important to them. Women can be so delusional at times. I knew a woman who joined every single "find a millionaire" type dating club, and she INSISTED money was not important to her. Also women always complain about men who just want young pretty women and use this as a comparision but they fail to realize that mens opinion varies greatly on what is pretty to them and its rarely what you see on TV. The reason why women are so mental about their body image is not because of men its because of the media and what other women think. A few examples How many men do you think are attracted to the model type of women? I think most men like women with curves. How many men do you really think care about breast implants? I think most men would prefer natural breasts on a woman Me personally my stipulation is I am not attracted to obese women and personally would like to be attracted to their face. Thats it, I dont care what they do for a living, how much money they make etc... I care about their morality and their values. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clv0116 Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 Don't even go there. There are no common or uncommon people. Just common and uncommon lifestyles. .... I would like to put myself out there as an "outlier." I left a man who made a lot of money because I did not love him, nor was I attracted to him. So you left him because although he was rich you were not attracted to him nor did you love him. Why were you with him to start with? Hmmmm? Well tell this to all the female teachers who are screwing their young students and the droves of women dating and marrying younger men. I'm not convinced it's a statistically significant movement really, is it? I walked away from my engagement. I had a 2 ct. princess cut on my finger, an offer for a BMW Z4, a half million dollar home in an affluent suburb. .... But he was controlling. .... And he could not satisfy me sexually. Again, you were ENGAGED to a guy who treated you badly and was bad in bed ... why? While he obviously wasn't rich he had a decent career from the sounds of it. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Let me trot out some stats fon the average American situation Average household debt is $18,654 (this excludes ridiculously leveraged mortgages on overpriced housing assets) About 43% of American families spend more than they earn each year So people on the whole people really aren't making enough money to support their aspirations. Now this is stats from the BOOM time of the last decade, I would hate to see stats in a couple of years now that the economy is under threat. Personally, I do not drive a particularly fast car, I do not go on fancy holidays all the time, and I do not waste my money on stupid things, so I have no debt and a lot of savings. However, I do think it's painfully obvious that financial stability is something most men don't have to offer in the U.S of A because they live beyond their means in order to appear wealthy. So it's no wonder that women feel this sense of entitlement when they can't get past the perception of what is the mighty illusion of outward wealth that's been created as a result of debt binges. Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 So you left him because although he was rich you were not attracted to him nor did you love him. Why were you with him to start with? Hmmmm? LOL -- I was with him because we were both young and stupid. He was poor, we both were. I had to borrow money to keep the electricity in our apartment. However, we did start a business together, and had a good friendship later. I know what you are trying to say and it is not true. I suppose I am the outlier or perhaps I'm stupid. I have never gone for a man with money, but I do like a smart man, an artistic man, and a handsome man. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
eclipseIDE Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Let me trot out some stats fon the average American situation Average household debt is $18,654 (this excludes ridiculously leveraged mortgages on overpriced housing assets) About 43% of American families spend more than they earn each year So people on the whole people really aren't making enough money to support their aspirations. Now this is stats from the BOOM time of the last decade, I would hate to see stats in a couple of years now that the economy is under threat. Personally, I do not drive a particularly fast car, I do not go on fancy holidays all the time, and I do not waste my money on stupid things, so I have no debt and a lot of savings. However, I do think it's painfully obvious that financial stability is something most men don't have to offer in the U.S of A because they live beyond their means in order to appear wealthy. So it's no wonder that women feel this sense of entitlement when they can't get past the perception of what is the mighty illusion of outward wealth that's been created as a result of debt binges. I probably will get blasted for this but I think most families are in debt because women have this expectation of a certain lifestyle that no longer exists today. I heard that once in the US a man could get out of high school, get a job, meet a woman, get married, buy a house, raise a family and probably have money in the bank to leave their children when they pass away. These days you are in debt right off the bat thanks to college and it only gets worse from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Nevermind. Link to post Share on other sites
movingonandon Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 The average stats are pretty depressing, and always have been. The availability of credit blew aspirations way out of line with sensible consumption. I make an ok salary, spoil myself in some innoquous areas, yet I don't see how I could possibly buy a good, brand new car (of course, I could easily finance one and wouldn't feel the payments much, but I still think that it would be irrationally big liability relative to the basic benefit of having means of transportation that smells new ; so I won't be buying a new car anytime soon, if ever. Before our fierce here ladies tell me to get over is and accept my unfortunate lot in life , let's ask ourselves seriously - how many people have enough assets to plop 20-30k on a car in cash without liquidating serious chunk of those assets ) Actually, I just realised why that's another reason I should be nice to my girlfriend . Her mom is rich, and after she finds out that we can't buy nice new furniture unless we save for 6 months, she'll probably have her mommy buy us some instead of giving me hard time . Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Before our fierce here ladies tell me to get over is and accept my unfortunate lot in life , let's ask ourselves seriously - how many people have enough assets to plop 20-30k on a car in cash without liquidating serious chunk of those assets ) I would never say that -- I don't even own a car anymore! And if I did (and at one point I did), I certainly would not have dropped 30k for one. To me, that sounds extravagant for a vehicle to get from point A to B. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I probably will get blasted for this but I think most families are in debt because women have this expectation of a certain lifestyle that no longer exists today. I heard that once in the US a man could get out of high school, get a job, meet a woman, get married, buy a house, raise a family and probably have money in the bank to leave their children when they pass away. These days you are in debt right off the bat thanks to college and it only gets worse from there. Well you have to get that college degree because there is more competition for jobs because women are working Prices of houses have rocketed because now it's not just families owning their own place, it's also singletons, including women - though that's certainly more of a problem in a small place like the UK. Secondly family income is higher because of 2 earning incomes so again that pushes prices up. Couple that with cheap credit and you have a recipe for disaster. So it is no longer enough to earn even as a professional making way above average salary because rent takes a huge bite and then it becomes difficult to save, and then it's not seen as acceptable not to say stay with parents to save, or not to have your own decent car, or not to live an aspirational lifestyle. It's a vicious circle, if you can't save you can't attract money and your living costs don't go down. So somewhere you have to break the loop, either you go into a high paying job for the money, but then you can't win there either because you're not following your passion. Or you have a lot of luck and get both Certainly this is a very small chunk of the population and usually those people are too busy to want a relationship. So while the baby boomers did have it easy, yes these are pretty tough times, but thankfully the economic system has begun collapsing because it can't tolerate the BS. The next few years are a painful but necessary way of getting us to re-eavluate our priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
eclipseIDE Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Nevermind. You dont think men try to impress women with money? If they do you dont think its because it works? Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 You dont think men try to impress women with money? If they do you dont think its because it works? Sure they do -- my "Nevermind" was a response to a different post. I decided the argument was not worth my time and deleted my response and put "nevermind." I hope that explains that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clv0116 Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 Why would a young girl date an old guy in his thirties and older? Same reason they always have. It's a biologically sound mating strategy which has paid off in the past, genetically speaking. Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Why would a young guy date an old chick in her thirties and older? (Sorry TBF, had to ask...) Link to post Share on other sites
blondesmiler Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I like money, thats why I earn and spend my own! Link to post Share on other sites
movingonandon Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Why would a young girl date an old guy in his thirties and older? Men should get more realistic. She must be doing it for cash because it's certainly not his aging looks. That's logically valid, but empirically invalid. Most men look their best in the 30-40 age bracket (For one, I surely wouldn't take back my 20s looks even if offered money ). And if guys take good care of themselves, many of them are pretty good looking even in their 40s, *and* they're also in their earnings peak. So, unless we're talking about dating women in their early 20s, which no sane guy in his mid 30s would do anyway, an age gap of 5, even 10 years is quite easy to pull off, even if no money are involved . Conversely, as unfair and sad as it is, women begin to fade in their 30s, which reduces the incentive among guys in the same age group to date them, relative to girls that are younger, particularly with the prospect of marriage - if you marry a girl in mid-30s, you pretty much have to start thinking about kids right away etc. I understand that I'm a little old-fashioned in this, but even if i wasn't, it is nice not to have this additional stress to worry about. Dating is complicated enough without it . Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Sorry -- I thought clv0o116 insinuated that my previous statement about my life and being an "outlier" was defunct as I had left a man with money. That man was as poor as I when we got together. He made all his money later, and I made a hard decision, as I had helped him make that money. But, I thought he and I deserved more, so I left. Thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Why would a young guy date an old chick in her thirties and older? (Sorry TBF, had to ask...) I have no idea, since I don't date younger men! Keep fooling yourself moving! 5 years, no worries. 10 years? Stretching it unless the early twenties girl is either a gold digger or has a daddy complex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clv0116 Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 Harvard Law students are not hot marriage prospects because they HAVE money. They are desired among other reasons because they will likely EARN well. .... has a daddy complex. I'll spank her, you bet no problemo. Link to post Share on other sites
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