Trialbyfire Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 So, computing in your head what "stimuli" an alpha would react to is *not* a strategy (to "land" him, or whatever word you prefer), hmm? (Also, I greatly appreciate it that you don't "fault" me !) The stimuli is based on compatibility. It either works or it doesn't and no amount of games or posturing will change that. Which ties into the fact that all alphas don't have the same wants and needs. Understanding each other's positive or negative triggers, particularly if it's intuitive, makes or breaks a relationship. This is all part and parcel of handling. Do you "get" the other person or is it a constant uphill battle of wills? This is the challenge for a lot of relationships, alpha or otherwise. Reducing it to landing or catching an alpha, like he's a prize is silly and also blanket generalizations of what all alphas want, is just as silly. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 No, demands and complications means dealing with personality types that apparently derive satisfaction from posting inflamatory and demeaning remarks . This type of attitude is a major problem, because essentially it says "I'll be with you as long as things go my way and/or you cater to my "demands"". But of course any relationship will go though some low points and hardships. That's why finding a woman who understands (*really understands*) that is so important. In return she will get the same - a devoted husband who will build life with her. Inflammatory and demeaning remarks? From me? Are you kidding? Looking out for your own needs does not equate to being with a man "as long as things go my own way and/or cater to my demands". Give me a break. I care about the man I'm dating and I want his emotional needs to be fulfilled, too. I want him to be happy and successful, and I want him to feel safe in the relationship. Wonderful. I want the same things, and I will leave a relationship if I'm doing all the emotional "lifting". Like MelodyMatters said, the beat goes on. Whenever I read these types of threads I just think it sounds like a bunch of aliens came down and landed on earth, and now they are debating the differences between male and female species. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Ok so... as far as I'm concerned... from my point of view on the men prefer youth thing.. I'm just about to turn 41, a couple years out of a divorce with no kids, in good physical shape, have had the same steady job for 11 years making good money. I'm a musician, songwriter, I know how to swing a hammer, use a saw, spin a wrench on a car etc.. I have a good personality with a lot of patience and women usually like me. So what am I looking for? An attractive, intelligent, cultured, artistic and strong woman with a generally sweet dispostion. These women are rare in general.. so it might be a while. Age? Well, I'll say 25 -35.. but I think the lower range is more of a stretch because finding common ground might be too much of a challenge. But if some early 20's woman somehow blows me away with her attitude and maturity well that's just a bonus! Thing is I do want a kid or two. After going through fertility issues with my ex wife who was 37 at the time I don't want to go through that again. It was hard on both of us and contributed to the marriage exploding. Heck i don't want to wait but a few years longer myself before my swimmers start to get a bit less sprightly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clv0116 Posted February 12, 2009 Author Share Posted February 12, 2009 An alpha male is a male who is bent on succeeding in life, and prioritizes accordingly. A little simplified but probably a good enough functional definition for this purpose. My wife has a successful career but she still has that sweet and feminine side. It's a rare combination that a man is lucky to find in a woman. It can happen and if it suits both parties then it's cool. I just object to people being labeled because of the form their unions happen to take. Women for the most part want to be able to change gender roles, break barriers and all that. There is nothing wrong with that but at the same time they want an old school man who makes more money than they do and is stronger than they are. They want men to stay stuck in our prescribed role while they try on a bunch of new identities. If these women stopped looking down on men who are not as alpha as they are men would not have such a complex about financially independent women. It has more to do with a woman's attitude than any career success she has. It's the reason why so many super independent feminist types find themselves unlucky in love. They tende to attract doormats and the alpha-males they are attracted to go for more feminine type of women. Many of these men go for younger women because after years of dating bad boys and emotionally unavailable men many older women have a chip on their shoulder against men the size of Alaska. Many women wise up and learn to appreciate a man that treats them well but the majority just become bitter old misandrists and no man in their right mind wants to deal with that. That's a really good post and it covers most of the bases. If women want parity then they cannot also continue to marry up in all or even most cases. About 50% will have to marry down and from my observations there are nowhere near that number who are really eager to marry down. This leaves an over abundance of women looking for high earning men and leaves those men in a position of to a greater or lesser degree being a 'chooser'. Woe to the successful career man who chooses a young beautiful woman, because he is summarily labeled all sorts of unflattering things as is his partner. If anyone doubts that look up the thread at the references to 'empty headed', 'good for one thing', 'dirty old man' and so on. This almost always comes from older women although there are aways a few manginas around to chime in as well. It's interesting to ponder what would motivate such comments. .... I just think it sounds like a bunch of aliens came down and landed on earth, and now they are debating the differences between male and female species. Pretty sure this subject is within the same species only sweetheart. No one here is advocating sex outside our species as far as I have noticed. Link to post Share on other sites
movingonandon Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 The stimuli is based on compatibility. It either works or it doesn't and no amount of games or posturing will change that. Which ties into the fact that all alphas don't have the same wants and needs. Understanding each other's positive or negative triggers, particularly if it's intuitive, makes or breaks a relationship. This is all part and parcel of handling. Do you "get" the other person or is it a constant uphill battle of wills? This is the challenge for a lot of relationships, alpha or otherwise. Reducing it to landing or catching an alpha, like he's a prize is silly and also blanket generalizations of what all alphas want, is just as silly. Well, there you go. But, it depends on how far you take the compatibility line - dealing with challenges in a relationship certainly does not mean "battle of wills", it simply means being able, but more importantly --> *willing*, to deal with the inevitable differences that will occur any time two adults live together, even if they're generally compatible. Sure, there is a difficult to establish 'grey area', but let's face it - immediately assuming that "well, I guess it was not meant to me" if such hardships occur, is not exactly the most mature attitude. IMO that's the key reason women are more likely to terminate LTRs/marriages --> the assumption that all this should be "intuitive" is a recipie for disaster, because "intuitive" by definition means "unexamined", "unarticulated", and therefore - poorly understood. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Well, there you go. But, it depends on how far you take the compatibility line - dealing with challenges in a relationship certainly does not mean "battle of wills", it simply means being able, but more importantly --> *willing*, to deal with the inevitable differences that will occur any time two adults live together, even if they're generally compatible. Sure, there is a difficult to establish 'grey area', but let's face it - immediately assuming that "well, I guess it was not meant to me" if such hardships occur, is not exactly the most mature attitude. IMO that's the key reason women are more likely to terminate LTRs/marriages --> the assumption that all this should be "intuitive" is a recipie for disaster, because "intuitive" by definition means "unexamined", "unarticulated", and therefore - poorly understood. No, intuitive doesn't mean you don't understand or examine it. It flows easily, as long as you don't run around consistently putting negative spin to it. Analysis paralysis is bad, bad mojo. Been there, experienced it with someone else and have thrown the shirt out! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Of course women have emotional. hysical and other needs but many are simply impossible to please and when a man fails to live up to some unattainable fairy tale perfection that never happens in reality she quickly become resentful of him and nothing he does is right. Men don't like drama and for the most part want the woman who brings the least drama into their life. With many women these days the drama just never ends. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 My wife has a successful career but she still has that sweet and feminine side. It's a rare combination that a man is lucky to find in a woman. OH SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :laugh: There are at least 40 women on this forum alone that fit that bill. As if YOU found the only woman with those traits. You can add not very bright to your list of adjectives that describe your wife because she married a complete and utter misogynist YOU are not a kept secret Woggle, you are indeed the resident self-proclaimed woman hater so... . Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Most of the women who think they fit that bill probably don't. They have that entitlement complex that many women seem to have. I just lucked out and found a good catch. I admit my view of women isn't very positive but there isn't much about today's women to be positive about. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Wogs it's really hard to find validity in this assessment: Most of the women who think they fit that bill probably don't. When it comes from him: I admit my view of women isn't very positive ... I do agree some people who think they are a certain way are probably not BUT that could apply to your assessments as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I admit I have issues with women but most women with a few exceptions have not shown me anything to be positive about. Like I said before men don't like unnecessary drama and they tend to go for the type of women that bring the least amount of it. There is nothing wrong with a successful woman these super independent Sex and the city types are one headache after another. They scream from the rooftops how strong and independent they are and how they won't let any man control them but in the same breathe they grow resentful of any man who won't put them in their place. It is a never ending battle for power that is exhausting. Link to post Share on other sites
morelaugh Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I admit I have only skimmed through last 10 pages, but I’d like to remind you of some facts: No woman (traditional or otherwise) wants a man who believes that her ‘value’ decreases with age. No woman stays young forever – no matter how she spends her youth. No woman, even if she doesn’t realise that at the age of 22, will be happy with a man who wants her only for her youth, fertility and domestic abilities. No woman appreciates a man who will limit any of her interests and ambitions outside the family.How good 'catch' are you yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkKittyKat Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 OH SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :laugh: There are at least 40 women on this forum alone that fit that bill. As if YOU found the only woman with those traits. You can add not very bright to your list of adjectives that describe your wife because she married a complete and utter misogynist YOU are not a kept secret Woggle, you are indeed the resident self-proclaimed woman hater so... . Hush, Woggle isn't a misogynist. He just dislikes sh|tty people, and since most of those he's encountered in his life have been HORRENDOUS shallow troublemaking bitches he happens to have a lot of experience to draw from. It's not like he makes allowances for MEN following that behaviour! His wife is lucky to have a man that he refuses to lower his standards for people in general to avoid being called a misogynist!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lord alfred douglas Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 An alpha male is a male who is bent on succeeding in life, and prioritizes accordingly. "Handling" a woman not such a priority - and that's why he's an alpha - ne does not need to be overly concerned with what women think of him. But, a good, and deserving woman is welcome to join his life as long as she has a lot to bring to the table (which does not include "demands" or other complications). Before you repeat yourself, ask yourself - why did Michael Corleone picked the simple, traditional, village girl over his longtime american girlfriend ? I love those scenes where he woos the traditional girl in rustic Italy Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Hush, Woggle isn't a misogynist. He just dislikes sh|tty people, and since most of those he's encountered in his life have been HORRENDOUS shallow troublemaking bitches he happens to have a lot of experience to draw from. It's not like he makes allowances for MEN following that behaviour! His wife is lucky to have a man that he refuses to lower his standards for people in general to avoid being called a misogynist!!! Yup and I do give a good woman credit when it is due. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Of course men have emotional. hysical and other needs but many are simply impossible to please and when a woman fails to live up to some unattainable fairy tale perfection that never happens in reality he quickly become resentful of her and nothing she does is right. Women don't like drama and for the most part want the man who brings the least drama into their life. With many men these days the drama just never ends. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Hush, Woggle isn't a misogynist. He just dislikes sh|tty people, and since most of those he's encountered in his life have been HORRENDOUS shallow troublemaking bitches he happens to have a lot of experience to draw from. It's not like he makes allowances for MEN following that behaviour! His wife is lucky to have a man that he refuses to lower his standards for people in general to avoid being called a misogynist!!! Sell it to me again hun, 'cause I "ain't buyin' it". I've had experiences with horrendous shallow people I don't hate ALL men or ALL women because of that. You see the difference? So it's ok and "admirable" for him to not lower his standards but NOT ok for a woman to not want to lower her standards? That's fresh! Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Summary of thread: Men: Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Women: Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Men: OMG!!! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Women: OMG!!! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Why does this have a strange similar feeling to the Israel-Palestine conflict? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 That's EVERY single discussion on this forum IrishCarBomb. What is a more fitting observation is: Why are you EVEN here reading this stuff? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Irish, you're killing me. Gendercide is the name of the game with divisionary threads like this. Israel = women with nukes. Palestinians = men who want nukes. Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 That's EVERY single discussion on this forum IrishCarBomb. What is a more fitting observation is: Why are you EVEN here reading this stuff? I agree Tomcat. I'm glad I'm not looking for advice, because a lot of the entertainment value would be totally lost on me then. Link to post Share on other sites
IrishCarBomb Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Irish, you're killing me. Gendercide is the name of the game with divisionary threads like this. Israel = women with nukes. Palestinians = men who want nukes. My only response possible is: Irish: OMG!!! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! I WINZ! PLZ STOP BOMBS I HAZ NO HEZBULLAH!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 My only response possible is: Irish: OMG!!! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! Rabble! I WINZ! PLZ STOP BOMBS I HAZ NO HEZBULLAH!!! I seriously LOL'ed! u da bomb! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I agree Tomcat. I'm glad I'm not looking for advice, because a lot of the entertainment value would be totally lost on me then. But if you were looking for advice the entertainment value WOULD get lost on you, you'd be looking for advice not entertainment. This thread is strictly entertainment and there is no accounting for taste when it comes to what we find entertaining. You're here contributing so it must do something for you. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I love those scenes where he woos the traditional girl in rustic Italy I'm sorry but what was so untraditional about Kay's (Diane Keaton) role? She was a schoolteacher for goodness sake. Is that a 'ball busting' career to you guys????????????? Link to post Share on other sites
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