Alma Mobley Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I love how some feminists talk about how they want women liberated but then look down on any woman that doesn't want to live life like an episode from Sex and the city. They are the typical elitist career women who think that anybody that doesn't live like them is somehow inferior. I am a feminist, but I have never seen 'Sex and the City.' I don't even have a television at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I didn't take it that way at all. I took it as someone being proud of their efforts on their OWN behalf. Just because you don't want to be some simpering twit who HAS to have a man pay her way in life doesn't mean you "want to live life like an episode from Sex and the City." Come on now, Woggle. Be sensible. I have seen this mentality and it really is a woman looking down on any woman that doens't want to be a high powered career woman. Then they blame men for being attracted to a traditional woman because we actually want a happy marriage that lasts. Marrying a high powered career woman for the most part is a sure way for a man to end up in divorce court and she will treat you like trash the entire marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Woggle I like how there is ALWAYS reference to "high powered" business women. :laugh: As IF we were all high strung executives here and nothing but. Get a grip will you? We have careers, is the only title within the career world an executive HIGH POWERED tycoon role? My job is not SO demanding I can't balance my personal life from work, heck I am at work right now and look at what I am doing. So stop making these extreme references to women who live to work. Most or our lives dont revolve around work we work to sustain a good level of life and to feel productive. Seriously GET A GRIP. When you make a comment like that you are generalizing the entire working female population therefore it makes you sound like a misogynist. And just because one woman cheated on you and left you high and dry doesn't mean all women are like that. You went ahead and married another career woman after that so where do you stand on the issue anyway? Seems rather hypocritical to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Where do you live?? I think any woman should be able to embrace her life, as she sees fit. I would NEVER look down on another woman for wanting to be a stay-at-home mom or a career woman. I cannot relate to this "high-powered career woman." I don't think I am ruthless or capitalist enough, lol. I've done a lot of things, but now I am a counselor, and I am happy with that. I have seen this mentality and it really is a woman looking down on any woman that doens't want to be a high powered career woman. Then they blame men for being attracted to a traditional woman because we actually want a happy marriage that lasts. Marrying a high powered career woman for the most part is a sure way for a man to end up in divorce court and she will treat you like trash the entire marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clv0116 Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 Do what you need to do, but don't put the rest of us down for what we do -- fair enough? I don't believe I ever have. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 You? Lose weight? Someone so articulate can only weight 98 pounds, no doubt. 98 pounds of me is opinion, I like to think (it was the guy from my anecdote who wanted to find love in order to lose weight, btw) Anyway - I strongly disagree with your theory. People do not need to extrapolate their own negative, quilt-ridden tendencies and project them on others to end up bitter about the mating process. Not sayin' that there are innocents here on either side, but most people learn early on that no matter how sincerely they want to simply love someone and be loved in return, reality sets in pretty quickly: I think that feeling like an innocent victim of someone else's fickleness is normal for a while....but when real bitterness sets in, stays there and manifests itself as hostility towards the opposite sex and a desire to inflict emotional pain, I think that's often about internal weaknesses and old, unrelated (to the relationship) grievances being brought to the surface and projected unfairly onto parties who have no responsibility for any of it. good men get rejected for frivolous and nonsensical reasons, and good women get messed up after being f***d a couple of times for fun and dumped - repeatedly. Then, it gets no better even when you find someone --> it is not unlikely to doubt your own and their motives for sometime. I appreciate that. Wariness is natural for anyone who's been burned. Ironically, that's exactly why the alpha males are doing well --> you pursue your own needs unapologetically, soimetimes even to the detriment of the others, and girls *eat this s***t up*. So, why change into more compassionate and understanding person? It would be a bad idea, even if you wanted to! I can't answer that. Advice abounds as to who and what a person should be, but really we have to figure out on our own what truly works for us. Who we're happy with being. If being compassionate and understanding makes a person unhappy, then they probably shouldn't try to be that way. I take the view that these traits are part of what makes a person (of either gender) insightful, interesting and pleasant to be around....but not if they're faked. Sometimes compassion and understanding comes easily and requires no effort. Other times I think a person can get compassion fatigue from other people's emotional demands....which might indicate it's time for them to behave a little more selfishly in getting their own needs met. That's essential, if a person is to be happy. I think it's their happiness and positivity, rather than any "this bloke's a bit of a sh*t" perception that draws women to men who choose selfishness. Egotism and selfishness don't automatically = bad person. It's possible for some people to be genuinely kind and compassionate, as well as quite egotistical and selfish. Similarly a person might drip altruism, but put people off because there's a sense of them lacking authenticity and having a hidden agenda. If, for instance, they're altruistic but unhappy. We don't generally appreciate dutiful charity or martyred, self righteous altruism. Ideally, a person is altruistic because they're temperamentally driven to it and derive personal pleasure from being what comes naturally to them. By the same token, as much as some men on a message board like this will criticise women who have a selfish outlook ("feminist....doomed to have a lonely, miserable existence...and serves her right too") I think that in reality men are often attracted to women who make up their own rules instead of always adhering to other people's. A lot probably depends on whether we perceive people as being selfish as a means to happiness, or selfish as a means to hurting/using other people and maintaining the upper hand over them. Saying on topic, working a ****ty job and having no money will not necessarily prevent you from finding a good woman, but will almost certainly complicate it (i.e. you will need to excel disproportionately, and quicly, in an area that gets her off, to overcompaensate for the instant disadvantage) I don't disagree. We gravitate towards people who are exceptional in some way we value. One woman might value earning capacity above all things. Another might prefer a man who is less career focused, more into music, art, literature, sport....things he's passionate about, even if he doesn't earn much (or anything at all) doing them. Some men might value youth above anything else in a woman. Others might regard a wife or girlfriend as their intimate confidante and friend, as well as their sexual partner. In which case other attributes might outweigh youth. Moreover, let's not forget that relative to the lenght of the numan history, the notion of romantic love is extremely new, just a couple of hundred years (rennesaince) and is already falling out of fashion IMO. For the most part marriages were simply transactions to regulate sexual behavior and inheritance property rights. Notions of personality, love and relationships that you see in Greek mythology aren't so different from the ones we have today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clv0116 Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 I'm no "high powered career woman." I'm just a gal who is capable of paying her own way and that of her offspring. Believe me, it would be nice to be able to stay home and garden or bake or have lunch with girlfriends or a drink and some pool, but I just don't get to. Interestingly that is characterized by some as a horrible limiting oppressive life. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I don't believe I ever have. Actually, I belive you have: Not true, older women are great for playmates, just not so great for marriage and starting a family with. A lot of older women like guys that will supplicate them so I guess it's a match made in heaven. Happy for you. Enjoy that. Seriously. If she's really great, to keep her around. If men are not pursuing maybe it's because they don't see anything worth running after? The great career and multi-dimensional shoe selection capabilities of a lot of women just don't add anything for the vast majority of men. I'm sure you will be but the guys attracted to you as you fade will be fewer and of lower quality on average, thus even though you are apparently an exceptional woman you will be getting a 'worse deal' then than you can get now. So why wait and is it going to be worth it? I'm just warming up.... Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Wow, Tomcat -- and you are just warming up?? Can I say thank you in advance? Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I can't believe we are going through this AGAIN. As I have matured, I have met more quality men. I am not ready to toss in the towel because I am over 30. I think I look better now than I did ten years ago, sheesh. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Ladies, the bottom line is guys like clv can't handle older women because we cut right through their bullshet, we run circles around him and they needssomeone who will shut up but only open her mouth up to take some spoonfulls of bullshet and to say "yes master" while he is off being a MAN. That will never be me, and I am quite happy to admit that. I'll take being single 10000000 times over, thank you VERY much! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I'm gonna inherit a lot of family responsibilities if I pursue it to the logical conclusion, you are correct. On the other hand they are good people and work hard so it's not like I'm partnering in with some welfare baby factory or something. She's pretty spectacular really or I wouldn't consider it. Also her younger siblings are growing up, and her older married sister is getting established so her load will be lightening with or without help from me. Not really on topic but everyone likes to brag about their sweetie a little. So you've dumped the other two sweeties you were dating simultaneously? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Actually my first wife was not a career woman. She is a junkie and a drunk who stayed home all the time wasted out of her mind and cheating on me but her feminist friends still thought she was brave and liberated. It's funny how being a housewife wasn't so bad to these feminists when a woman was screwing over her man. I would have loved to see her get out there and earn her own money but showing up to interviews wasted doesn't tend to get people hired. My current wife earns her own way but she doesn't have that misandrist men are disposable attitude that so many career women have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clv0116 Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 Actually, I belive you have Not at all a case of me "put[ing] the rest of us down for what we do" anywhere to be seen, simply pointing out trade offs some choose to make. It's a matter of taste whether it's a worthwhile trade off. First case, older women make great playmates but are not as suitable for starting a family with, second case, a guy that will no doubt make older women happy and likes them old is a good match. Third case pointing out that high achieving men don't generally care what a woman earns or how closely she follows the latest fashions, fourth case honest advice about women and aging. It's not a whit of 'putting down' unless you decide those simple facts are downers. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Actually my first wife was not a career woman. She is a junkie and a drunk who stayed home all the time wasted out of her mind and cheating on me but her feminist friends still thought she was brave and liberated. It's funny how being a housewife wasn't so bad to these feminists when a woman was screwing over her man. I would have loved to see her get out there and earn her own money but showing up to interviews wasted doesn't tend to get people hired. My current wife earns her own way but she doesn't have that misandrist men are disposable attitude that so many career women have. EVEN better, you moved on from in a cheating housewife junkie with no aspirations to a career woman who actually loves you respects you and has a good head on her shoulders. But of course according to you, you found the LAST good woman standing. and I am glad you see your wife that way I find that really romantic and cute. I have no problem with you putting your W on a peddestal but to say there are no other women out there who could be good is ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author clv0116 Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 A guy who is attracted to a gal based solely on looks that haven't faded ... You inject solely and then argue that strawman. No one said anything about solely, however it's pretty well proven men will strongly prefer a pretty young woman if the other factors seem pretty similar. Ladies, the bottom line is guys like clv can't handle older women because we cut right through their bullshet .... Too funny. I've dated 18-26, 29-31, 40-54 in my life. The hardest thing about dating an older woman is making her stop calling after you next her. So you've dumped the other two sweeties you were dating simultaneously? Not yet, but I find myself out with the 24 year old a lot lately. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 So you've dumped the other two sweeties you were dating simultaneously? Oh was he dating 2 other types of women to suit the needs of an argument he was trying to prove in another thread? Tell all Nora! Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Actually my first wife was not a career woman. She is a junkie and a drunk who stayed home all the time wasted out of her mind and cheating on me but her feminist friends still thought she was brave and liberated. It's funny how being a housewife wasn't so bad to these feminists when a woman was screwing over her man. I would have loved to see her get out there and earn her own money but showing up to interviews wasted doesn't tend to get people hired. My current wife earns her own way but she doesn't have that misandrist men are disposable attitude that so many career women have. I am a feminist -- not a militant one -- but I think her friends were just being her friends, that is all. A drunk parasite is not what we feminists want as a poster girl, comprende? How your wife's terrible behavior turned into feminism, I don't know, but it is not. I never, ever wanted to be this mythical "career woman" -- though I think some women should be able to choose that path. I hate the corporate world, so that would never be who I am. Why feminism should automatically = "high-powered career woman," I don't know. I cannot relate to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 How your wife's terrible behavior turned into feminism, I don't know, but it is not. I KNOW that is exactly what I would like to know. Because by what he has told of both women past and present it seems he married the parasite who disrespected him and cheated on him and actually ended up with a feminist who respects and takes care of him. The irony is too big to overlook and it totally escapes me WHY the misogynistc tendencies exist!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 I've dated 18-26, 29-31, 40-54 in my life. The hardest thing about dating an older woman is making her stop calling after you next her. Ok, here is why I call BS -- older women, such as over 50, usually have their own lives and are not clingy -- it's the teens and 20s who are needy and never stop calling. If those women kept calling, however, it was NOT for a relationship, lol. It was about sex. Okay, clv, I'm in my 30s-- why would you next me based on age? Tell me I am not worth starting a family with, etc? I'd really like to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Accrding to most feminists I have know n cheating on your man and screwing him over are part of what it is about. It is all about sticking it to the patriarchy. According to her and her friends her drug use and drinking was all my fault and her cheating was how she rebelled. After going through that is it any wonder why I have issues with women? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Accrding to most feminists I have know n cheating on your man and screwing him over are part of what it is about. It is all about sticking it to the patriarchy. According to her and her friends her drug use and drinking was all my fault and her cheating was how she rebelled. After going through that is it any wonder why I have issues with women? That's not feminism that is retardation. You really need to education yourself more Woggle, you sound really silly making comments like that. And your wife rebelled because she lacked life experience as most people do when they are given too much responsibility at a young age, they rebel at a later age. Your exW just happend to go off the deepend doing so. Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Accrding to most feminists I have know n cheating on your man and screwing him over are part of what it is about. It is all about sticking it to the patriarchy. According to her and her friends her drug use and drinking was all my fault and her cheating was how she rebelled. After going through that is it any wonder why I have issues with women? Huh? Yes, the philosophical politics known as 'feminism" advocates drug addiction, dishonesty and cheating. COME ON NOW. Your problem is not "feminism" -- it's crappy partners. You are within your rights to be angry at the woman who screwed you over -- just don't tar all of us with that anger. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 The hardest thing about dating an older woman is making her stop calling after you next her. This conjures up a depressing, sordid picture of sad ladies who are too desperate, lonely, addled or scared to accept reality. We're not expected to be impressed by these notches on your bedpost, I hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 For the record I consider myself a modern woman though not totally a feminist I do belive in certain feminist views and the only thing I wanna stick to the patriarchy is my sexy parts in his mouth. Link to post Share on other sites
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