Survey says: Women like money, men like youth

[Woggle]

What I want to know is why hearing how men truly feel bothers women so much. The stuff you hear online is how many men talk when women aren't around and much of this stuff is true. Do you think that men are making up this stuff that they have experienced?

[Trialbyfire]

What I want to know is why hearing how men truly feel bothers women so much. The stuff you hear online is how many men talk when women aren't around and much of this stuff is true. Do you think that men are making up this stuff that they have experienced?

I'd like to know how some men like to frequent infidelity and feminist boards, allowing extremism to affect their attitudes towards women in general and their wives specifically, to the degree that they want to divorce their wives and hate the entire female gender.

[Woggle]

I'd like to know how some men like to frequent infidelity and feminist boards, allowing extremism to affect their attitudes towards women in general and their wives specifically, to the degree that they want to divorce their wives and hate the entire female gender.

 

I admit I am a bit of an extreme case and most men are a older than me before they start opening their eyes but go to any divorced men's board and you will hear rantings against women.

 

I don't hate the entire female gender and I don't want to divorce my wife but sometimes it is a bit hard to believe that I actually found a woman like her. I truly did think women like her didn't exist and sometimes I wonder if this is too good to be true.

[Trialbyfire]

I was chatting with another male member of LS about respect between genders, just yesterday. I told him that on LS, there weren't that many men who actually respect women, including himself. With this in mind, it's very easy to get jaded about men because you see all the bitterness and antipathy.

 

And yet, when I step back into the real world, the men in my life, whether friends or loved ones, aren't bitter and cynical like this. They actually have respect for individuals, gender aside.

 

In essence, reality is as you make it. You choose your environment, your friends and most importantly, your attitudes.

[Woggle]

How many women here respect men though? Women have to realize that to get respect you have to give it.

[Trialbyfire]

Take the blinders off Woggle. You'll see it everywhere.

 

In a thread like this, it immediately divides the genders. The opening post is combative, therefore, creates an equal and opposite harsh reaction. So each gender takes a extreme perspective, to offset the other.

 

How can this be emotionally healthy, particularly for a site full of hurting individuals, at their most vulnerable? If anything, it continues fueling the demonization of the opposite gender, through the coping phase of break up or the bitter phase of divorce.

[Woggle]

The genders are already divided. The internet only brings people's true feelings to the surface because you can post on here and not have to face people in person.

[Tomcat33]

With this in mind, it's very easy to get jaded about men because you see all the bitterness and antipathy.

 

And yet, when I step back into the real world, the men in my life, whether friends or loved ones, aren't bitter and cynical like this. They actually have respect for individuals, gender aside.

 

In essence, reality is as you make it. You choose your environment, your friends and most importantly, your attitudes.

 

 

I would have to agree with this as well. I see a good level of respect and kindness and general dignity in terms of the men that surround me in the real world. I don't see this deep dark side of hatred I read about on this board. Who knows maybe they are all thinking just like Movingon and cvl and Woggle, who REALLY knows what lurks beneath, right?

 

Having said that, someone may argue "yes but you don't really know how these men feel or what they really think deep down just because they show you one side doesn't mean they don't think in these hatred terms as well."

 

To that I would answer, no one knows exactly how someone thinks or what someone truly feels. It's almost irrelevant to want to know exactly how deep a person's thoughts may run, the actions of a person denote a lot more than what we think. So if a man has a string of unhealthy relationships with women then his actions directly reflect his thoughts, were as if a man is living a reasonably healthy life with the people around him then his thoughts could be as benign as that of someone who adores women or as poisoned as any of the haters here. The key is in the ability to edit those thoughts before they manifest themselves into counter productive actions.

 

Some people have the maturity and the self awareness to do that to an extent to where they will gain from life's experiences, others not so much.

That is what separates those who are consumed and consequently paralyzed by emotion vs those who can separated the two. Clearly that is not exclusive to women.

[CommitmentPhobe]

In a thread like this, it immediately divides the genders. The opening post is combative, therefore, creates an equal and opposite harsh reaction. So each gender takes a extreme perspective, to offset the other.

Agree

 

it continues fueling the demonization of the opposite gender, through the coping phase of break up or the bitter phase of divorce.

Don't agree, I think most people would just look at this thread and go pfffffffffff then move onto the next one

[Tomcat33]

I'd also like to add, Woggle if your current wife seems too good to be true and you are indeed toying with ideas of divorcing her as others suggested then I would be confident in assessing that you are not mastering your thought /edit process therefore your thoughts are consuming your life.

 

Really that is what life is about not so much about how or what we think but how we manifest what runs in our heads to create said life for ourselves.

[movingonandon]

It only took about 30 pages for this thread to take a somewhat more productive turn , but now it's too hard to keep track who's arguing about what .

Vulnerability is probably the true source of everybody's antipathy, if such strong word even applies. Also, it is justified to an extent --> *nobody* selflessly scopes the world to find someone to love for who they are and take care of all their needs first. Everybody starts with their own needs, at least initially. So there you have it, the 'war' is inevitable, the question is what do we do get to a truce, instead of escalating it to an "all out" conflict .

[Woggle]

I don't think about divorcing her anymore but when we were first married there were times when I went to a leave her before she leaves me state of mind. It wasn't fair to her and that is why I stopped. Any woman who stuck around after what my ex pulled must be pretty sincere about her love.

 

Most men or people in general will be polite in everyday interactions because we have to be to function in the world. If we walked around all hostile at work or in public we would not be able to have a life. That being said many men secretly behind closed doors agree with me. There is a cold war between men and women right now and while we might be cvil on the surface you can't the tension with a knife.

[Tomcat33]

I. Any woman who stuck around after what my ex pulled must be pretty sincere about her love.

 

Your ex was the exception NOT the rule. Hence why that makes you the "glass half empty guy" when the world is in fact half full.

 

Most men or people in general will be polite in everyday interactions because we have to be to function in the world. If we walked around all hostile at work or in public we would not be able to have a life. That being said many men secretly behind closed doors agree with me. There is a cold war between men and women right now and while we might be civil on the surface you can't the tension with a knife.

 

 

I wasn't talking about basic functioning capabilities, of course most men don't go around bullying others and causing tirades. Any person with half a brain, man or woman, knows that gets you nowhere fast.

 

I am talking about something a lot deeper than that. I was talking about the quality of relationships they harbor, the families they have and their general outlook on life and respect towards the family unit and their women/children. When someone nurtures a good homelife, nurture being the operative word, and leads a somewhat healthy social lifestyle (I keep saying "somewhat healthy" because nothing is perfect) that means no matter what their thoughts are, they have mastered wanting to do the best in their actions to nurture a good life. Thoughts are truly irrelevant if the output is good.

 

This is why debates like this are purely for entertainment purposes purely to dissect those extreme thoughts that we carry inside and some feel they cannot reveal in most social situations. But you have to admit that for those people that carry extreme hateful views in conversation, and always adhere to those extreme negative thoughts they will have a much harder time separating those views from reality in the real world.

[Woggle]

I am glad you know a better quality of people than I do because where I am from I don't see too much love between men and women.

[calazhage]

And yet, when I step back into the real world, the men in my life, whether friends or loved ones, aren't bitter and cynical like this. They actually have respect for individuals, gender aside.

 

 

My question is, how on earth would you know? EVERY guy I know treats women with nothing but respect and kindness in person.

 

When we are out together however, and sharing stories, often times it leads to how they are manipulative, or have the advantages, or really can't be of use to marry, or cheat, or are gold diggers, or are mental. Men from all walks of life.

 

I have never been around a group of guys sharing stories about how much we all love women, and how wonderful they are, and how pure, innocent, and great. Not once. Sorry.

[movingonandon]

My question is, how on earth would you know? EVERY guy I know treats women with nothing but respect and kindness in person.

 

When we are out together however, and sharing stories, often times it leads to how they are manipulative, or have the advantages, or really can't be of use to marry, or cheat, or are gold diggers, or are mental. Men from all walks of life.

 

I have never been around a group of guys sharing stories about how much we all love women, and how wonderful they are, and how pure, innocent, and great. Not once. Sorry.

 

 

That is true, even for my best two friends who are *extremely devoted* (more than most men!) to their wife and girlfriend respectively. Smart guys too. They love their women, yet they also understand that they need to deal with their s**t on purely rational basis if their relationships are to remain as long term as they are.

[Tomcat33]

I have never been around a group of guys sharing stories about how much we all love women, and how wonderful they are, and how pure, innocent, and great. Not once. Sorry.

 

And you don't think women talk like that about men when they get together?

:laugh:

 

 

That is true, even for my best two friends who are *extremely devoted* (more than most men!) to their wife and girlfriend respectively. Smart guys too. They love their women, yet they also understand that they need to deal with their s**t on purely rational basis if their relationships are to remain as long term as they are.

 

 

Yeah and your friend's wife does the EXACT same thing when she hangs out with her girlfriends. Build a bridge and get over it, women do the exact same thing unless they are in the early stages of love where we gush at every thought of the guy.

 

But if your friend is extremely devoted, which is more than we can say about what you wrote on yourself and how you conduct relationships, then unless he is some doormat loser looking for abuse, he is devoted because despite all the complaining he knows he has something good. As I am sure his wife feels the same way.

 

Talk is cheap, actions all the way.

[Skylar]

I think this is why the Muslims want to destroy the West

 

and the fact that their women cover themselves up can't help the situation....

[Skylar]

How many women here respect men though? Women have to realize that to get respect you have to give it.

 

I have respect for any man who deserves it, just like anyone else, gender aside...

[morelaugh]

My question is, how on earth would you know? EVERY guy I know treats women with nothing but respect and kindness in person.

 

When we are out together however, and sharing stories, often times it leads to how they are manipulative, or have the advantages, or really can't be of use to marry, or cheat, or are gold diggers, or are mental. Men from all walks of life.

 

I have never been around a group of guys sharing stories about how much we all love women, and how wonderful they are, and how pure, innocent, and great. Not once. Sorry.

So what you’re saying is that men are simply dishonest, manipulative and shouldn’t be trusted?

(with the exception of those on Internet boards, of course)

[Woggle]

I am well aware of how women talk amongst themselves but you were saying that most men you treat women with respect and they probably do. That being said these same men could be the ones venting online the woman that screwed them over. Men have a lot of stuff that they are afraid to vent in mixed company because women want to pounce all over us when we express how we truly feel.

[movingonandon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by movingonandon

That is true, even for my best two friends who are *extremely devoted* (more than most men!) to their wife and girlfriend respectively. Smart guys too. They love their women, yet they also understand that they need to deal with their s**t on purely rational basis if their relationships are to remain as long term as they are.

 

 

Yeah and your friend's wife does the EXACT same thing when she hangs out with her girlfriends. Build a bridge and get over it, women do the exact same thing unless they are in the early stages of love where we gush at every thought of the guy.

 

But if your friend is extremely devoted, which is more than we can say about what you wrote on yourself and how you conduct relationships, then unless he is some doormat loser looking for abuse, he is devoted because despite all the complaining he knows he has something good. As I am sure his wife feels the same way.

 

============

This requires some elaboration, since it's interpreted in borderline halmark colors . So what are the wife's complaints? Her dude throws his socks on the floor?

 

In the examples I'm alluding to, the shet I'm talking about are not mildly annoying behaviors, but major stuff such as 'fake'(in the end of the day) "break ups" because of stress, extreme selfishness, using ancient and insignificant issue to create drama, etc. etc. etc. Major, potentially emotionally draining problems.

 

Another thing to mention is that both of these guys have been around the block a lot, so it's not like they hooked with first gal that layed them and put up with her... So, the fact that they're devoted to these relationships is not just a reflection of the fact that they have "something good". It is also a reflection of their understanding that all girls are basically insane (let's refrane from all the stronger, if approrpiate words, for a second ) and that they will have to deal with the exact same shet no matter what girl they're with . So, they're simply dealing with it, in the relationships they're in, like real men . Not bitter, just pragmatic . That's another reason they are devoted (besides love) - they know that they'll have to deal with this stuff in ANY relatinoship, with ANY woman, so they deal with it now, instead of contemplating "other options"...

[Woggle]

I don't think that all women are insane. As soon as a woman knows you would rather be alone than have to put up with her crap it changes the whole dynamic. I guess I just expect better from women than most men do. If they are incapable of functioning in a relationship without causing drama then they don't deserve to be treated as an equal partner. I must admit that it gets tiring hearing of men complain about this when they refuse to stand up for themselves and if that doesn't work kick her to the curb. Men really need to start growing some balls and taking more control of our lives.

[grogster]

I can't believe all the soap opera drama from these angry young men. These whiny guys create this silly caricature called "women" and then pore into this empty vessel all their insecurities, resentment and rage.

 

Real women are erased as individuals while the Shack's Misogyny Clique prattles on about emasculating evil women stereotypes.

 

Ironically, these men's men are still allowing "women' to define them, only oppositionally.

 

This Thread is not about understanding and appreciating real gender differences. Rather, it's all about young male insecurity and gender caricature. It's about power and the perpetuation, at least ideologically, of male domination.

 

All this would be silly if real people weren't involved.

[Trialbyfire]

Gendercide is easy to do. It removes the need to look at both self and at personal choices, as the only constant within each non-viable dating situation or traumatic relationship.

 

Get to know the person you're dating, before investing. If your criteria is solely superficial, expect that inside the cracker jack box, there could potentially be some nasty surprises.

 

If you're having problems getting a date, once again, there's only one constant. If you have as negative attitude towards women, as displayed on LS, most often it will shine through. Only psychopaths can hide their lies for any great length of time.