Survey says: Women like money, men like youth

[Lizzie60]

well to be honest.. I think this survey is right... to some degree.

 

I think age has a lot to do with it.. for young women, love is more important than money ... both don't have much money.. they're just starting in life...

 

I can't speak for ALL women.. but I know lots of women who would not date a 'broke' ..

 

I know I wouldn't.. not at my age anyway.. Older women have more money, they have a good career... they certainly don't want a guy who cannot pay his share of the dates, trips, etc... I would never financially 'support' a guy..

[clv0116]

.... When women tell you they don’t care about money, why don’t you believe them?

 

Because statistically speaking it's patently false.

 

 

I am not trying to talk on behalf of men here, but I’m guessing that whether man cares about woman’s education or not, largely depends on his own level of education.

 

Wrong. I'm in an office full of other well educated men, no one, not one single guy, ever discusses this. We don't, by and large, really care. We don't care what you earn. We weigh many factors of course but in the beginning, middle and end it's mostly about how hot you are.

[clv0116]

Why can't you just judge a woman on who she is and how she treats you then on some some "scientific" study ... ?

 

What? Judge who? I think it's fascinating to see the difference between what women say and what women do, as manifested RIGHT IN THIS THREAD. Amazing and cool to see it at work. "Well I'm not like this" they almost all say. So either we have here an amazing collection of atypical women (along with every other woman I know in real life) or we have a typical group in typical denial. Which seems most likely really?

 

It's not about judging.

 

I accept how people behave and I'm fine with it.

[morelaugh]

judge a woman on who she is and how she treats you then on some some "scientific" study that barely means anything? Studies contradict each other all the time. There are many things to take into account with those studies that TV specials like on the Discovery Channel neglect to mention because it has to be dumbed down for the general population and it makes the show less interesting.

Spot on!

 

I would never financially 'support' a guy..

For me it would depend on WHY he is broke. If the reason is that he is drug addict or gambler, than not – but NOT because he’s broke, but because of the underlying reasons.

 

Lizzie, what if a man gets sick and loses his earning power? What if he gets laid of in the middle of recession? Would you just leave him then? Instantly find him unattractive?

 

 

.... When women tell you they don’t care about money, why don’t you believe them?

Because statistically speaking it's patently false.

What statistics exactly are we talking about here??

[Lizzie60]

Lizzie, what if a man gets sick and loses his earning power? What if he gets laid of in the middle of recession? Would you just leave him then? Instantly find him unattractive?

 

 

Huh? if a guy gets sick.. let's say he's my SO.. of course I wouldn't leave him.. I'm talking about dating.. I'm single.. remember..

 

First off.. how can a guy ever lose his earning power?... here, in most companies (govt).. the benefits are good.. and you can go on disability with almost 3/4 of your salary.. plus any guy my age or close should have money saved...

[morelaugh]

...I'm in an office full of other well educated men, no one, not one single guy, ever discusses this. We don't, by and large, really care. We don't care what you earn. We weigh many factors of course but in the beginning, middle and end it's mostly about how hot you are.

All right then.

Your study may apply to men.

 

But, although I know a few of those women that are ‘attracted’ to money (I would use the word ‘attraction’ very loosely), the vast majority of women I know don’t feel this way.

[eclipseIDE]

Because statistically speaking it's patently false.

 

 

 

 

Wrong. I'm in an office full of other well educated men, no one, not one single guy, ever discusses this. We don't, by and large, really care. We don't care what you earn. We weigh many factors of course but in the beginning, middle and end it's mostly about how hot you are.

 

 

I think women try not to come across as superficial.

 

To reaffirm what you are saying compare the mens and womens profiles on a dating site. Most of the men will specify body and age and thats about it.

 

Women will specify education, income level etc....

 

Now I dont think women get like this until around their late 20's and definelty change at around 30.

 

From what Ive seen personally something happens to women at this age. I saw a couple female friends dump their high school sweethearts and end up with men with money. From knowing these females you would think they would never go for the sugar daddy but yet this is who they ended up with. They are nothing like the women I grew up with.

[SoulSearch_CO]

In the end, I see this as men having the advantages. We can make more money, and become more attractive. We make more money as we get older, so out value increases. Women can do some things, but they cannot simply become more attractive than a younger more attractive female.

No ****. Why do you think there are so many stories of women being left with the kids whilst her hubby runs off with some little hottie?

[SoulSearch_CO]

if you don't want a man for his money would you date a good-looking and self-educated janitor who makes $11 per hour?

Uh...I think she made it pretty clear that she wanted somebody that earned equal to what she made.

[belladonna]

What? Judge who? I think it's fascinating to see the difference between what women say and what women do, as manifested RIGHT IN THIS THREAD. Amazing and cool to see it at work. "Well I'm not like this" they almost all say. So either we have here an amazing collection of atypical women (along with every other woman I know in real life) or we have a typical group in typical denial. Which seems most likely really?

 

It's not about judging.

 

I accept how people behave and I'm fine with it.

 

haha - "Amazing and cool to see it at work" because we're telling you it's not completely true? Oh that means I'm in denial. OK bud, you can believe what you want but I know who I've dated and why I liked them, and if you won't believe me well I can't prove it to you over a message board.

 

I was talking about the argument that you can judge all women you meet as goldiggers essentially based on a survey. Obviously there are some women like that, but you can't assume they all are is what I'm saying. So yes it does have a little to do with judging. And if you've come to this conclusion based on experience, then you're dating the wrong women I guess.

 

*shrug* maybe things change as we get older that I don't know.

[Trialbyfire]

Yup, yup, all women are gold diggers, just like all men are pedophiles...

[calazhage]

Once again, the question is what people are attracted to, not what they settle for.

 

Of course your girlfriends are with guys that do not have lots of money. They don't have a choice. There are not that many wealthy, single guys that want to date them, or meet them.

 

 

Now here is the difference. Let's say magically a woman could draw her perfect made to order man..High income, money, or "good provider"(all really the same) will DEFINITELY be on the list. High on the list.

 

Now if a man has this same opportunity, many men might not even want her to work. They will think more of kind, young,fertile, hot. Very few will list "good provider".

[MN randomguy]

 

In the end, I see this as men having the advantages. We can make more money, and become more attractive. We make more money as we get older, so out value increases. Women can do some things, but they cannot simply become more attractive than a younger more attractive female.

 

Well, at what point in their lives. I think in college the women are in the driver's seat as they have this HUGE pool of guys that finds them preferable. Once your peer group gets into their thirties the power structure changes. Then, however, the guys are pining for college aged women.

 

No ****. Why do you think there are so many stories of women being left with the kids whilst her hubby runs off with some little hottie?

 

Because There is not enough of a bond and relationship to hold them together when roles inevitably reverse and he is the more attractive one. Most of the time it is simply a story of a young woman going out and finding the hottest(rich) guy she can get, and a guy finding the hottest (young) woman he can get. This doesn't change as they age. Other than as cal has stated, he gets richer and she gets older until he can "do better".

[clv0116]

.... the vast majority of women I know don’t feel this way.

 

Of course not, just like the women in the study they simply find the men with high earning careers more attractive. It's almost like magic. Or neurotransmitters, one or the other.

 

 

 

Uh...I think she made it pretty clear that she wanted somebody that earned equal to what she made.

 

Ya, whereas men don't care about that, we have another list we're wired to desire. This is all natural and shouldn't be considered derogatory.

 

 

 

.... because we're telling you it's not completely true?

 

....

 

I was talking about the argument that you can judge all women you meet as goldiggers essentially based on a survey. Obviously there are some women like that....

 

Nothing in life is 100%, but statistically the vast majority of women are very swayed, apparently without realizing it, by a mans ability to earn. Also I object to the loaded term gold-digger as I think it's pointlessly loaded and negative. They are simply behaving as instinct dictates.

 

 

 

Because There is not enough of a bond and relationship to hold them together when roles inevitably reverse and he is the more attractive one.

 

Exactly. A lot of women are sucked into this trap. The time to forge that enduring pair bond is when you're young and irresistible ladies. Another study has actually identified structures in the brain that are directly involved with long term pair bonding in humans, but those structures have to be 'programmed' before they essentially become addicted to the other person.

 

 

 

It's all pretty cool stuff and strongly indicates that what humans did socially in the past is still what we are well adapted for now.

[burning 4 revenge]

Yeah, but you arent taking into account that a lot of women who seek relationships specifically for money probably cheat with younger, good looking men

 

Have you forgotten your cougar thread or are you choosing only to believe what you want so that the world feels safer to you?

[movingonandon]

I have no problem with girls being attracted to money/security, as long as we're upfront about it. But what we're getting right now is that he "needs to be sensitive, caring, to have an amazing emotional connection with me, to be pretty much perfect, oh, and *by the way*, he should *also* earn enough" . It's unfair and silly to prioritise both, (not that it doesn't exist in rare catches like yours truly ).

 

Basically, the balance of expectations between genders is highly scewed. If a woman wants me for the security I can provide, that's perfectly ok, but in exchange I will expect her to keep the house in order and squeaky clean, cook 3 times a day, and assume complete responsibility over the kids being taken care of and being well-behaved.

 

If she wants an understanding and supportive partner, i will be happy to provide that too, but she should make her own money and don't even try to bother me with expectations about me "taking care of her".

 

Either way is fine, I just would be hesitant to do both - not because I wouldn't want to, but because I would think it is unfair in the context of what I'd be getting in return Compare with typical guy's expectations: attractive enough to maintain sexual interest, pleasant enough to be around, and doesn't cause trouble/relationship drama

[Tomcat33]

IBasically, the balance of expectations between genders is highly scewed. If a woman wants me for the security I can provide, that's perfectly ok, but in exchange I will expect her to keep the house in order and squeaky clean, cook 3 times a day, and assume complete responsibility over the kids being taken care of and being well-behaved.

 

 

And if she doesn't want you to equal her security, then she doesn't have to do any of those things? Who will do all that? A maid and nanny perhaps? Nice society we live in where everyone pass off the family onto strangers to do a job that a couple should do.

 

 

 

You know what the basic problem of threads like these is, and why they always end up with 300 pages of the same old stupid argument? It's because some of you guys can't tell the difference between a golddigger / user / prostitute and a woman who wants someone with equal life ambitions. It's not that hard to know what the difference is use dictionary.com if you are lost look up "user, prostitute and golddigger".

 

Enough with the "go out with the $11 earning janitor" example. YOU go out with the next door chubby girl who doesn't look as great as she could but will clean and cook and take care of your kids while you are out cheating on them with some golddigger. You know what is really irking some of you guys? It's that women now have options too, we too get to choose what and who you we want to be with. Boo-hoo, get over it!

 

If you can't tell the difference between some middle of the road golddigger parasite and a woman who wants a partner with the same level of equality in social standing, then you really have NO business being in the dating world.

[burning 4 revenge]

Yeah but Tomcat most unemployed women even want a guy who makes a decent amount of money, while the reverse isnt true

 

Women want it all if they can get it. Thats why they pursue affairs more than men, because a larger number of females are after a smaller pool of men

[Trialbyfire]

I can honestly say that I don't pursue men for their money or security from it.

 

But...

 

I expect that a man will be able to support himself and not pull down my lifestyle. I think men should expect the same of women.

[burning 4 revenge]

I can honestly say that I don't pursue men for their money or security from it.

 

But...

 

I expect that a man will be able to support himself and not pull down my lifestyle. I think men should expect the same of women.

you have no idea what common people live like

[Trialbyfire]

you have no idea what common people live like

Don't even go there. There are no common or uncommon people.

[burning 4 revenge]

Don't even go there. There are no common or uncommon people.

You know what I mean, Im talking about money

 

Its dog eat dog and a lot of women use every advantage.

[Tomcat33]

Yeah but Tomcat most unemployed women even want a guy who makes a decent amount of money, while the reverse isnt true

 

 

that's fine I am making comments that are realistic in terms of reciprocity between a man and a woman. So that means the types that are wanting this type of equal footing are employed and have a good job or career.

 

 

Thats why they pursue affairs more than men, because a larger number of females are after a smaller pool of men

 

 

You are prob right about that part I don't know, I don't pursue so I can't comment from personal experience or even observations on that because of my girlfriends the ones that do pursue just end up with ONS so...and exactly HOW much does a woman need to pursue sex? not an inch, let me tell you...

[Trialbyfire]

You know what I mean, Im talking about money

 

Its dog eat dog and a lot of women use every advantage.

Then even it up. Ask the same of what they demand. If a woman wants money, make sure she can bring it to the table too.

[movingonandon]

And if she doesn't want you to equal her security, then she doesn't have to do any of those things? Who will do all that? A maid and nanny perhaps? Nice society we live in where everyone pass off the family onto strangers to do a job that a couple should do.

 

 

 

You know what the basic problem of threads like these is, and why they always end up with 300 pages of the same old stupid argument? It's because some of you guys can't tell the difference between a golddigger / user / prostitute and a woman who wants someone with equal life ambitions. It's not that hard to know what the difference is use dictionary.com if you are lost look up "user, prostitute and golddigger".

 

Enough with the "go out with the $11 earning janitor" example. YOU go out with the next door chubby girl who doesn't look as great as she could but will clean and cook and take care of your kids while you are out cheating on them with some golddigger. You know what is really irking some of you guys? It's that women now have options too, we too get to choose what and who you we want to be with. Boo-hoo, get over it!

 

If you can't tell the difference between some middle of the road golddigger parasite and a woman who wants a partner with the same level of equality in social standing, then you really have NO business being in the dating world.

 

No need to get all worked up here, what is it to prove here. Just saying that the expectations are often unbalanced. It *is* a double standard to expect a guy to take care of both emotional and material needs (unless exactly the same is provided in return). Even rich new england WASPs would rarely dismiss a good woman because she "does not earn enough". So yes - a woman in my life needs to make up her mind what's more important to her: if it is her career and the need for truly suportive and emphatetic partner, then she should take it easy on the expectation of financial security coming from me - I'll happily split the housework and hire (half of) the necessary help, but won't consider keeping the household afloat to be my primary responsibility. If being taken care of is more important to her, she should make it worth my while by maintaining a perfect house and making comfort at home her primary priority, and yes - i will view her differently as a result. Either way is fine, no judging, as long as we don't have an entitlement attitude going requiring excessive investment in both. And it's not about whether I can pay for it or not - it's about if i'm getting appropriate return on my investment - emotional or financial ). Of course, the best possible scenario is for both parties to provide reciprocal emotional and financial investment into the relationship. But, that rarely happens. Instead we get the "My money is our money, her money is her money" situation . I'm not (and probably never will be) rich by any conventional measure, but have pretty prestigious and secure job, which is not 100% joy precisely because I've had opportunities to see how that this invites attention from women I should have no business dealing with. Thankfully, there are also women with careers out there who make no big deal out of it. However, even in these cases, good job lets you get away with stuff that a guy with lesser 'resume' would not be able to. Which, while convenient, is actually very depressing.)

 

And by the way, the golddigger parasite is not the worst (they're easy to spot) - the worst is the woman(or a man) working a mediocre job or a job that she/he is not passionate about, in hopes that her husband will be the "primary breadwinner" in the household - now that's a "life ambition" . (The politically correct sentense structure fell apart because you don't see many guys "marrying up" )