David Hill Posted April 25, 2000 Share Posted April 25, 2000 I have been seeing my girlfriend for about 14 months ,one thing I find offputting is that she is totally undemanding of me ,she never complains ,never has a bad word too say about me ..sometimes I think she is too easly pleased? Is it me or have I just struck a rare kind of woman that really does think im wonderfull (she tells me I am) but due too a previous hurtfull relationship I tend too be cynical Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 25, 2000 Share Posted April 25, 2000 You could have the BEST or you could have found THE WORST. There are people from certain families and certain cultures who are taught it is irrational to become upset over that which is out of their control. They are taught to accept people as they are, to love the world as it is, to change the things they can, and accept the rest in a loving way. It does sound a little strange, because most people carry around their insanities that demand they keep themselves upset most of the time to one degree of the other. Her family may have taught her that the number one cause of the destruction of relationships is unreasonable demands and expectations. Making demands on other people is irrational and does not win friends. If you don't demand that people or circumstances be a certain way to please you, then you never have anything to complain about. Your lady could have just decided that she doesn't want to irrationally upset herself. She could have realized that she is in control of her emotions, or could have been taught to be in control. It is totally unnecessary to become angry, anxious, depressed, jealous, etc. These are basically choices we make. Their are appropriate alternative feelings such as disappointment, concern, sadness, that seem to impact our lives less and keep us much less upset. On the other hand, you could have a chick here who holds everything in for long periods of time...and then explodes. She could be the most angry, irrational person that ever lived and you will not know it until she just blows up one day. The papers are filled with stories of kind, generous, thoughtful family people who are loved by many friends who one day go to work and kill five people. My advice would be to feel you have found a treasure here, treat her kindly, don't take her for granted, and nurture the relationship. My guess is that she is one of the very rare people who has learned to get on in the world without masochistically causing herself great sorrow. She probably has her act together like very few I know. There are many very nice people out in the world whose motives are highly suspect because people like that are certainly not in the majority. Most people would think your girl was off her rocker...because they are off of theirs. YOU ARE A VERY LUCKY MAN, IT SEEMS!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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