AeroSpace08 Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 [font=arial][/font][color=black][/color] I guess you can say that my girlfriend and I are "Highschool Sweethearts". We met @ the age of seventeen, and been together for 4 years. Of course, like everyone else, we had are battles, and we'd always seem to find someway back into each others arms. Recently,. . . . . she made new friends at work. Since then, it was hard for me to hang out with her. She wouldn't return my calls, or call me at all. I caught her in a big lie one day, and this lie really hurt me. She said that she was at her moms house one day, I went to visit her and her family because we're really close. I get there and she wasn't there. I called her, she wouldn't pick up her phone, she would just text me back. I confronted her later with the lie, and she stuttered saying that she was at the mall instead. That really hurt me, and the trust that I had with her seemed to almost dissappear. After that, it seemed that every word that came out of her mouth was lie. last week she said she wanted to move out, and that she wanted space. that was last week, and since then it was real hard to talk together. Now she doesn't pick up her phone, and when she does come home to pick up her stuff, it seems that she is angry with me and leaves before I can say one word to her. She became real distant towards me so unexpectantly fast it confused the hell out of me. I haven't heard or seen from her in 2 days now, I'm feeling really heartbroken. Can she really throw 4 years together away so easy? So would you think that i lost her because of someone else? Or she does really want her space? Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 i think others would say yes, shes seeing someone else. but me, i would say she doesnt want to be with you anymore. yall should move on anyway, theres so many more fishies in the sea, and some are more colorful and fun then others! Link to post Share on other sites
Author AeroSpace08 Posted September 30, 2003 Author Share Posted September 30, 2003 [color=black][/color] I just wish she would tell me, instead of playing these mind games with me. It hurts so much. . . If there was a way to save this relationship, what can I do? I love her so much. Link to post Share on other sites
FERSHEEZY Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 next time you talk to her just ask her flat out if its over. yes or no. if it is then you will have to move on and just be single for a while. see whats out there. if not then you need to talk about things and find out whats going on and how to make it better for both of you. whether or not she's seeing someone else i think doesn't really matter. if she wants to be with you then she needs to be with "you" only. if not then she can date whoever she wants. the sooner you can get a straight answer out of her the happier you will be. if she wants to beat around the bush then just make the decision for her say good-bye. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelebek Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 I agree with Fersheezy. It's difficult, but make sure you get the answers you need. She owes you that much. I think it's so cruel when someone in a relationship simply stops communicating with the other. There ARE plenty more fish in the sea, but of course it won't feel that way for you right now. You are each other's first real love, it will take ages to get over. But first you need to find out if it is TRULY over. (and WHY) Give her space at the moment. Leave her a message saying you will be here for her to talk when she decides she's ready, then leave it for a few days. The worst thing you can do is crowd her. It may only seem like a phone call or a visit to you and everyone else, but to her, it's smothering and suffocating. Don't get in contact with her at all, leave her to sort out her head. That's the only way you may save the relationship. I know I'm contradcting myself here - but don't let your needs get pushed to the side though while trying to save it, otherwise it ISN'T the perfect relationship. She can only be "the one" for you if she wants you back. Remember, you may find yourself with the woman you wanted, only to find you don't have the relationship you wanted. I wish I had better advice for you, really I do. Or ANY advice, for that matter. When people just stop talking it really gets to me, as it's happened to me. I got through it and I'm fine, does that help? Nope, I bet it doesn't one bit. Take care of yourself first, remember. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AeroSpace08 Posted October 2, 2003 Author Share Posted October 2, 2003 Fersheezy, kelebeck thank you for your support on this. I aksed her flat out if she wanted to end this tonight. It took her a while, but she said that she still wants to be in this reltionship with me. I asked her if she wanted space, and she told me yes. Know all I have to do is wait this out until she is ready for this. thanks guys, you really cheered me up on this advise. Link to post Share on other sites
Goatsbreath Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 See, this is what I dont get. The space. What exactly is the space that so many people need. I need space they say. What is the space? Do I have the space? It seems to me that I need space is the nice round about way of saying- My life needs to occupy a place where your not..... Link to post Share on other sites
LadyX Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 "Space" means they want to spend less time with you. Then it's easier for them to break up with you when they've distanced themselves a little bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AeroSpace08 Posted October 22, 2003 Author Share Posted October 22, 2003 Well, I've been giving her space, no calls, e-mails, or just happen to walk by and see you. She broke up with me the day after her birthday, I admit I was crushed. And, I understand that life goes on. So, I went on. . . . met another girl. Then SHE finds out, and wants me back. Like a dumb arse, I run to her, and get hurt again. Because, today I visited her at work. And their she was with her new boyfreind, she called the cops on me. Why did she want me back, when she had another guy. This is what really gets me, I haven't been so hurt in my life before. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyX Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Guys and girls tend to want what they can't have, this is why she showed interest when you met someone else. Just forget this one.....and go on. Link to post Share on other sites
ketti Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 hello, She needs her space - everyone does. I can tell you that being with someone for a number of years can grow old. Another thing is people your age need to 'sow their wild oats'. How can one do that if they are with their high school sweetheart? The best thing to do is give her all the freedom she wants and that means not even calling her until she calls you. The more you back off and give her space she may realize the grass is NOT greener. But she can't know that if you are always there. Worse comes to worse she'll want to break up and try being single again. Be supportive, have fun, sow some wild oats and who knows, she may want to be with you again, if you want to that is. You can never make things better by being clingy or needy. Act like it's a good thing and that you too want to have fun and hang out with your friends, but don't over-emphasize it. Be very suble and mysterious, or just say "cool" and leave it at that. She'll wonder what you have up your sleeve... Personally, that fastest way for a guy to turn me off is to want to always be with me. I mean always - the grocery store, hair cuts, etc. People need time alone. It's a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AeroSpace08 Posted October 22, 2003 Author Share Posted October 22, 2003 Thanks lady x, I finally realized that she has been playing with my head and emotions for the past month. For some reason I think that she enjoyed watching me sad and confused. I won't stand for her games any longer, I just wish she didn't hurt me like she did and went on with her life. Link to post Share on other sites
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