katterskacy Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 You all saw my post from yesterday about how I'm the OW and the committed man I was seeing took his GF on a cruise. I was ok yesterday but now I'm not. I was at the point yesterday where I was done, but now I want to let him know how mad Iam. I'm madder then I thought I would be upon finding this(see my post from yesterday). I'm SO pissed at him for all his lies and all that he said last time we were together! I feel like reaking havoc on his life right now! My question is this: would it be completly insane for me to post pics of us on the site where he is posting pics of his cruise? Talk me out of it if it's bad or if it would be fun. I'm wanting to just ignore him when he comes back from his trip but maybe this way he will not even try to talk to me. Or maybe his GF will be so mad she will throw him overboard? Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Don't you think that will make the situation worse? Everyone has those revengy feelings sometimes when they get hurt, but do you want to hurt his GF by posting those pics? It's not her fault he's a liar and a cheat. He'll probably never change either. Stay away from him. He doesn't deserve it. Maintain NC and get on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 The best revenge is NOT to let him back into your life once he returns. Completely ignore him and take back the power. You know he's a liar and a cheater, he's manipulated you into believing something that isn't true at all. Be pissed off, but don't go posting any pictures online of you two together. His girlfriend doesn't deserve to be hurt that way. Are you hoping she'll dump him and then he'll be yours? IF that is one of your reasons for exposing your affair with him to her, chances are he'll hate you and also throw you under the bus, make it seem like you were the one chasing him. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I say do it. His GF needs to know that she is having a relationship with a liar and she deserves better. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 His girlfriend, though she doesn't know it - yet, is ALREADY being hurt. If you post the pics, at least she'll know what a sleaze bag she's involved with. Post 'em and then brush him aside like a pesky mosquito - and learn a lesson from this experience. We posted at the same time, but obviously I agree with you. His GF is the one that is in the dark. Enlighten her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author katterskacy Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 I say do it. His GF needs to know that she is having a relationship with a liar and she deserves better. I REALLY want to! I'm just weighning all the ramifications. There is still that part of me that wants to see him. If he knows I posted the pics, he won't talk to me. I know, I know. Maybe thats a good thing..........but still........... Link to post Share on other sites
Billie63 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I REALLY want to! I'm just weighning all the ramifications. There is still that part of me that wants to see him. If he knows I posted the pics, he won't talk to me. I know, I know. Maybe thats a good thing..........but still........... If you do it he'll probably recognise you're as nuts as him! lol. I say do it. Take a risk, as he has done. He might just respect you a little bit for refusing to be a mug. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I REALLY want to! I'm just weighning all the ramifications. There is still that part of me that wants to see him. If he knows I posted the pics, he won't talk to me. I know, I know. Maybe thats a good thing..........but still........... Maybe she will dump him and he will run to you. It actually sounds like the two of you belong together. You will never know until you do it. The only ramifications would be that everyone involved will know the truth and where they stand. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 If you were that concerned with his GF knowing what a cheating liar he was, then you would have told her at the beginning of your affair. You only want the affair to come to light because you aren't getting your way. You are contemplating telling out of revenge and pettiness. Those are never good reasons for action, especially if you try to justify your actions as being "helpful". Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 If you were that concerned with his GF knowing what a cheating liar he was, then you would have told her at the beginning of your affair. You only want the affair to come to light because you aren't getting your way. You are contemplating telling out of revenge and pettiness. Those are never good reasons for action, especially if you try to justify your actions as being "helpful". IMO, no matter what her reasons are, the GF deserves to know the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 COMPLETELY agree. Who cares what the motives are, as long as this poor sucker of a woman finds out what kind of nasty POS she's involved with? Right and if the OP and this guy wind up together, all the best for them. It may hurt the GF in the beginning, but she will be better off without him in the long run. That is of course if she chooses to dump him, we will never know until she knows the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 You act as though Katterstacy didn't know that she was sleeping with a man who is committed to someone else. She knew the deal. She just doesn't like the fact that he lied to her about his vacation. HELLO - he is a liar. She knew that from the get-go. She participated. She enabled. She rewarded his poor behavior. Go Katter, go for the cheap revenge shot. And don't be surprised if he doesn't keep his mouth shut about your involvement - to your friends, to your family, to your workplace. You were an active participant in this affair, and outing him means that you should be equally as outed. Shouldn't your world know that you condone lying and cheating? Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 You act as though Katterstacy didn't know that she was sleeping with a man who is committed to someone else. She knew the deal. She just doesn't like the fact that he lied to her about his vacation. HELLO - he is a liar. She knew that from the get-go. She participated. She enabled. She rewarded his poor behavior. Sure, but we have to assume she already knows all that. Now it's time, IMO, for the GF to get a choice in the matter since she is the only one in the dark. It's her life too. So please tell, post those pics do what ever you can because there is an innocent woman out there who should know the truth. JMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author katterskacy Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 Maybe she will dump him and he will run to you. It actually sounds like the two of you belong together. You will never know until you do it. The only ramifications would be that everyone involved will know the truth and where they stand. How does it sound like we belong together? I'll admit that I'm in love with him(he does not know this) and that I do want to be with him. That being said, I also don't ideally want to be with a lying cheater. I still don't know what to do......... Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I'll admit that I'm in love with him(he does not know this) and that I do want to be with him. Why HAVEN'T you told him you love and you want to be together? I cannot understand why you withhold that vital piece of information - if you WANT to be with him maybe that gets him to leave his gf and be with you. Publicly I mean. That being said, I also don't ideally want to be with a lying cheater. I still don't know what to do......... Good grief. Reading your posts is like watching a tennis match with all the back and forth. You just go ahead and forget all the lies. You just forget that he is on vacation with HER. You just forget that he bends over backwards to protect HER. You just ignore his skillful evasions and sneakiness. You just forget how much he values commitment. Lets just ignore how he treats women (both you and her). KK, you just go on being a dog at the dinner table hoping for a few meager scraps of his attention every now and again. If that's all you view yourself as then that's all you'll ever be. Second place. The dirty little secret. Personally, I wouldn't stand for it. But - its YOUR life. Do as you will. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 How does it sound like we belong together? I'll admit that I'm in love with him(he does not know this) and that I do want to be with him. That being said, I also don't ideally want to be with a lying cheater. I still don't know what to do......... To be perfectly honest with you (and why not be, I'm anonymous on an internet forum), I was just trying to give you more incentive to tell the GF. It really doesn't matter much who ends up with whom, as long as she knows the truth to be able to make her own decisions as well based on reality. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 How does it sound like we belong together? I'll admit that I'm in love with him(he does not know this) and that I do want to be with him. That being said, I also don't ideally want to be with a lying cheater. I still don't know what to do......... You KNOW he's a lying cheater. And you KNOW he's lied to you, repeatedly, about a lot of things. Your "love" for him, (or is it sexual chemistry?) won't make him want you more. Enabling him to continue cheating by keeping quiet won't make him want you more, and it won't make him love you, and it won't make him break up with his gf and come to you, and it won't make him stop being a cheater even if he did dump gf and turn to you. The ONLY reason you are hesitant about exposing him is that you still want him for yourself, and you're afraid he'll shut the door on you if you provide proof to his gf that he's been cheating on her. The ONLY reason you think he's going to come to you if you keep quiet is because he LIED to you and said yeah, MAYBE it's time for him to break up with his gf, the one he's on a cruise with. Does that really sound like a guy who is thinking about breaking up with his gf? Does a liar like this really sound like a guy who wouldn't cheat on you at the drop of a hat if he were your bf? Send your proof to his gf. You don't need to post it publicly, but why let him continue to get away with cheating on her? For all you know, he's got a 3rd and 4th OW in all those cities he travels to, and is exposing both you and his gf to STD's. People need to stop protecting cheaters. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 There is an element of self-protection that she needs to think about here, too. MM goes ballistic, sends an email to katter's boss. Calls her mother and tells her mother that she is a scheming tramp. Posts pictures of her on Craig's List asking for married guys to date. Pastes flyers of her bare butt on light poles. Sends his wife over to kick her a$$. Let's his wife go confront katter at work. Leaves a voicemail on her church's answering machine that she needs to be saved from her sinful life. People react badly to bad news. There is a reason why they say, "Don't shoot the messenger;" messengers often get shot. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I'll admit that I'm in love with him(he does not know this) and that I do want to be with him. So if you expose the affair online, you're really hoping that he'll come to you IF his girlfriend breaks it off with him. How long have they been together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author katterskacy Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 So if you expose the affair online, you're really hoping that he'll come to you IF his girlfriend breaks it off with him. How long have they been together? Yes, of course, I would love for him to come to me if they broke up. I won't deny that. Ok, heres the f'ed up part. Shes supposedly knows about he & I. I talked to her once before(about 9 months ago) she answered his phone. She cussed me out and did not say much about anything that made any sense. He knew about it and claimed it was his crazy ex and said she was at his house and picked up his cell. I didn't believe that, but I also didn't care(at the time). She answered his phone again last week.(these are reasons I don't call him and he usually calls me) and said they have been together for 9 years. She cussed me out again and she sounded kinda retarded and drunk if you ask me. Much of what she said did not make sense again. He claims that they are no longer together. I know, I'm an idiot. I now see through his lies and I guess I always should have. Every response on here from you guys has been good and helpful. As we get further in to it I'm seeing more and more how stupid this whole thing is and that I need to have NC and move on. I guess she does not care that he cheats or (more likely) he tells her lies about me. I just wanted to post the pics becuase I'm that mad right now. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Uhh, so what is it about him you actually like? Other than the sex and him making you feel good.. Because the guy is a user, a liar, a cheater and selfish. He has NO problems lying to his girlfriend or to you..This guy is NO prize. Yes, chances are he has told her that you're crazy (like he's told you she's the crazy ex or whatever) and that you won't leave him alone.. That anger will pass. Don't post the pictures. Take responsibility for your part in this. You know he's been with her for 9 years. That isn't just a casual relationship, if they live together, they're also common-law married. And they live together too, right? Part of your anger is anger at yourself, for believing and white lying to yourself so affair and fantasy could continue.. Best revenge is to move on with your life and stay SILENT when it comes from him. Silence can say a million things..And it'll drive him nuts if you cut him out of your life forever. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Yes, of course, I would love for him to come to me if they broke up. I won't deny that. Ok, heres the f'ed up part. Shes supposedly knows about he & I. I talked to her once before(about 9 months ago) she answered his phone. She cussed me out and did not say much about anything that made any sense. He knew about it and claimed it was his crazy ex and said she was at his house and picked up his cell. I didn't believe that, but I also didn't care(at the time). She answered his phone again last week.(these are reasons I don't call him and he usually calls me) and said they have been together for 9 years. She cussed me out again and she sounded kinda retarded and drunk if you ask me. Much of what she said did not make sense again. He claims that they are no longer together. I know, I'm an idiot. I now see through his lies and I guess I always should have. Every response on here from you guys has been good and helpful. As we get further in to it I'm seeing more and more how stupid this whole thing is and that I need to have NC and move on. I guess she does not care that he cheats or (more likely) he tells her lies about me. I just wanted to post the pics becuase I'm that mad right now. Now if she sounded kind of retarded:mad:(pet peeve), what do you think you sound like even messing with him in the first place? Can you use drunk as an excuse? Link to post Share on other sites
KismetGirl Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 No point in posting photos. His GF didn't ask for this, nor to be publicly humiliated. Your motivations for telling are revenge, and that's never a good motive for anything, IMO. Just cut him off. His GF apparently knows about his infidelity and doesn't want to let him go, so let her be. Get on with your own life. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Oh.. My.. Dog... this is insane.. how could you even think about revenge.. geezzzz you knew he wasn't available.. now that he's throwing you under the bus.. you want to hurt them.. I only wish that, if you go ahead with your plan... he will come back much harder on you.. geezzz people sometimes... pathetic!!! Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 You have said here and in your other threads that the intense chemistry between the two of you is the reason you continue to want to see him. Even if he has a gf, even if he lies to both of you. OK, it must be very intense chemistry. But, the chemistry is for the most part one sided. If the chemistry was that intense for him...he would have taken you on the cruise, or to Miami, or to dinner...or something! His chemistry to you is limited to seeing you once in awhile when he is town. Ive been both a BS and an OW...to be honest, he is showing you very little of anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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