Els Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 You need to talk, but he's unavailable for valid reasons and shouldn't be disturbed outside of an emergency (work/class/sleep)? When you just feel all emotional and wistful, perhaps because you just got out of a conversation with him because he had to go, and you just wish you'd talked to him a little bit more about your feelings and how much you miss him? Or just any other reasons, that aren't really an emergency... Going through that now. Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 How long a stretch of time are we talking here? Hours? A day? Several days? Could fall back on emails, even saying you don't want to disturb him because you know he's really busy but you had somethings on your mind and wanted to get them out to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Els Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 Hours to a day. He doesn't have a computer at school/work, so by the time he reads an email I might as well have waited. I do text sometimes when he's at school, but I personally find it clingy to send random 'miss you's when I KNOW that the person is busy... am I right about that or would you guys disagree? Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 I think the best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Tell him you'd like to let him know you are thinking of him, but don't know if he would see a text or two throughout the day as a nice gesture or as an unnecessary bother. Let him tell you how he feels about it (and make sure he gives you the honest answer). I text with my guy on average about 50 times a day... sometimes less, sometimes more, but it really depends on how busy we both are. Even if I know my guy is busy, I still send a few texts throughout the day because I know he likes getting them even if he can't respond Link to post Share on other sites
Ashbash11 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 I was just wondering that myself! I struggle with this issue almost everyday... My boyfriend is usually unavailable because he works at an observatory on a mountain, so there's no cell phone reception and he has only limited access to a computer. Try THAT on for size! What I usually do to calm myself is keep myself busy- read, go out and do something, call a friend... etc. Until I can speak to him. Or, I will write him a letter (but not give it to him). I can sympathize with how you feel, for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 Or, I will write him a letter (but not give it to him). Why not give it to him? During the first couple of years (especially year one) when I couldn't talk to him, because we only got 20 minutes per calling card and 20 minutes wasn't a lot of time, we both wrote lots of letters. His were shorter and lots of "I love you so much"s but in mine I talked about all of the things we did't talk about. I wrote about lots of different things. For instance something I saw or would happen during the day and I would recall a childhood memory so I'd write about that. Or I had a bad day at work that had a lot of background info to it - so I'd write that all out. Then I'd stick it in the mail and he loved getting the letters. It not only gave him a nice surprise when they'd get there, they also gave him another way of getting to know me and lots about me. It also gave him a window into the way I think and my view of the world and it's happenings. I highly recommend it. I don't think anyone on the planet knows me better than he does. That has worked to our advantage many many times. Mostly because I am quick to react and my first emotion is anger when I feel hurt in some way. And I get frustrated really really easily now because I am so fed up with the situation. Often people ask how it is we have lasted as we have because of the length of time (7 years) and how little we have seen each other during that time but we really know each other. I know when he says he loves me he really loves me all of the real me - the inside - because he knows me so very well. Thanks to a lot of letters! Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted February 14, 2009 Share Posted February 14, 2009 I think the best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Tell him you'd like to let him know you are thinking of him, but don't know if he would see a text or two throughout the day as a nice gesture or as an unnecessary bother. Let him tell you how he feels about it (and make sure he gives you the honest answer). I text with my guy on average about 50 times a day... sometimes less, sometimes more, but it really depends on how busy we both are. Even if I know my guy is busy, I still send a few texts throughout the day because I know he likes getting them even if he can't respond We were 15 time zone hours apart. Almost a perfect amount of time to make sure our schedules could not be in sync. When we started international text messaging charges would also eat into our budget. Later on cell phones started adding free instant messaging (well on my end a reduced charge on hers), yahoo, MSN, etc. For us we had a weekly phone date. A few IMs during the day but most things which happened went into long emails. The postal service in her nation is not secure as the USPS about 50% of personal letters and cards were stolen by postal workers thinking people are stupid enough to sent cash Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts