LoveLace Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 "Jay" is a cool and nice guy; we go back several years and he always had a thing for me. We would sporadically "hook up" and that's all I ever wanted to do with him, aside from just being friends. Then he had a girlfriend for a couple of years and we remained friends, but I was never bummed out that I couldn't get with him anymore or whatever...he was still a friend I could talk to about life problems and such. Ya see, he's really just "ok" looking, at least compared to men I've dated in the past...physically, we don't even match as a couple...he's a short guy and I like tall guys; I'm not petite but I'm not amazon chick either...in other words for whatever reason I'm having trouble picturing a serious thing with him, or going out in public with him as my BF... BUT, after he and the GF split up months ago, he started contacting me more...then his # changed and we lost touch...but a few weeks ago we ran into each other, made out like crazy and we were estatic to see each other again. We've hung out a couple times since then, and we talk so well and being intimate with him feels pretty darn good. It's like we have a good combo of friendship + more....we agreed to be FWB...but now it seems the phone calls and plans to hang out are increasing so it's starting to feel like more than FWB...I started thinking about it and he IS really sweet, and we have fun together though we dont' have much in common it seems... I don't have a problem with hanging out more, or with him calling me more, in fact I desire to be intimate with him; should I chalk this up to the fact that he's just the only guy in my life right now, fulfilling an empty space, or should I consider the "opposites attract" idea and let this go wherever it might take us? Because I'm starting to think he might want this to mean more...and if I don't want it to go there (if it hasn't already) then I shouldn't let it, right? When I think of hurting his feelings or losing his friendship, I just don't want it to come to that; but if I meet other guys anytime soon I will for sure be giving them a chance, too. Link to post Share on other sites
voldigicam Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Getting perspective is pretty difficult. I don't know that opposites attract, but attraction often bypasses the logic imposed from outside. Let's see. I have a couple of doctorates. I'm married to a high school grad who was a hair dresser when I met her. We're still inseparable after 16 years. Pretty cool. You describe a long-term, pretty deep compatibility. At some point that type of thing can deepen. I wouldn't worry about the opposites part. Just look at the happiness inside and the compatibilities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 Getting perspective is pretty difficult. I don't know that opposites attract, but attraction often bypasses the logic imposed from outside. Let's see. I have a couple of doctorates. I'm married to a high school grad who was a hair dresser when I met her. We're still inseparable after 16 years. Pretty cool. You describe a long-term, pretty deep compatibility. At some point that type of thing can deepen. I wouldn't worry about the opposites part. Just look at the happiness inside and the compatibilities. That is good insight and makes a lot of sense....thank you! We have a date for Thurs. night... Link to post Share on other sites
Ramrod Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Shallow and conceited is no way to go through life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveLace Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 Oh please Ramrod. The last thing I feel is conceited when I look in the mirror and the majority of guys that hit on me anymore are total idiots. Yea sure that's a real confidence booster. My feelings are mixed because a friendship that turns into more is a sensitive situation and if I'm not sure that I could fall in love with him, I can't help how I feel. But we have plans to hang out tomorrow night and I can't wait to see him. If I were "shallow" I wouldn't be considering his feelings in the matter now would I. In that case I would just use him up dry without caring what he wants. And I care about him as a person so I'm hardly shallow. Just unsure of my feelings at this point. That does not make me conceited or shallow. It makes me human. I don't judge men who don't want me as conceited or shallow, I figure they just don't want me and move on. And for all I know, Jay feels the exact same way about me right now as I do about him. I don't disregard that possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
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