Uncertain Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Would you reply to your ex if he wrote you an e-mail to see how you are after he broke your heart into millions of little pieces??? IS there any point? Or is not replying being a real B#tch??? Link to post Share on other sites
HaleyK Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 As hard as it is, the best thing to do is trash the email and delete his contact details. Do not reply. He is just sending the email to alleviate his own sense of guilt about breaking your heart. He wants you to say, 'yes X, I'm fine, thanks for the wondeful memories...' When in reality, you're not in a position to be able to say that now, and you could end up writing things that you will regret later on down the track. As a general rule, it is helpful to write stuff down when you are emotionally vulnerable. JUST DON'T SEND IT! Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Definitely with Haley on this one, he broke your heart, what do you care if he thinks you're being unsociable?! Trash his mail, delete his details, if you don't you're setting yourself up to re-live some of the 'break up pain'. Nothing good can come from hearing he's fine/lonely/got a new girlfriend/misses you/wants to be friends or whatever his line will be ... be kind to your healing heart, spare yourself!! Link to post Share on other sites
Uncertain Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 That is wonderful advice. Thanks guys. The only reason why I am in doubt is because I was told by a counselor that it is best that I STOP being angry and forgive him in every sense of the word. I know deep in my heart that we are NOT going to be and I deserve a LOT more for me, and I believe I have moved away from the situation and I am looking forward to someone great coming my way. Even though I still love him, I know I am no longer ‘in love’ with him as such. I know that he means well and he is always very concerned about my well being. We were best of friends once and it is very hard from him to go from, best friends, girlfriend to nothing because it didn’t work out for us. It wasn’t about the fact that there was no love, cos there was heaps of it and there still is. But you know what they say, sometimes love just isn’t enough, and this was our case. He is an amazing person and I am sad it didn’t work out but again I deserve more but I truly know in my heart that he means well by his e-mail. BUT having said all this I know that he is missing me a lot cos I have not given him any communication for months and the same time I know he cares. I just don’t want to bastardize what he had, with the amazing bond and friendship we had. You know in hindsight, if only I knew then what I know now I would never have been with him despite the happy times and the love we share. Dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t!!! Go figure…!!! thanks xx Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 i agree that replying is no good. why would you? u'r done with him, right? forgive him, but that doesn't mean being friends with him. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 i agree that replying is no good. why would you? u'r done with him, right? forgive him, but that doesn't mean being friends with him. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 I'm with the others..........don't reply!!! Forgiveness is about you, not him. You can forgive him in your heart and he never needs to know about it. He could very well have emailed you just got an ego boost and to see if he still has you hanging on a string. You said in your reply that you know it's over, you know it will never be, and you know you deserve better. Then why reply? Save yourself the trouble and delete! Link to post Share on other sites
aquaria127 Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 I'm thinking that I was in a situation like this several months ago. And, I replied. And we were polite e-mail friends for about 6 months. What did it bring me but more heartache, dissilusionment, false hopes... You were best of friends once, you cared deeply about each other once. You are having yourself believe there's still a bond, because you were part of each other's lives for a time. something my mom says: forgive, but don't forget, and use this experience as a lesson. You will always remember that he broke your heart. You know the reasons it didn't work out. It sounds like you learned some things from this relationship, for that you can be thankful! Like was said earlier, you do not need to contact him and I also don't think you should. Write him a letter with every word you want to use, then tear it up and flush it down your toilet! Forgive yourself and accept that you are going to get on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Baubles Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 been in this situation too- also don't think you should reply...he probably does care how you're doing, but also wants to alleviate some guilt...but to me, if he cares enough he should do more than just an e-mail, make a call, etc... as hard is it is- don't reply- not hearing from you may prompt him to miss you more. Link to post Share on other sites
Iamhappy Posted October 13, 2003 Share Posted October 13, 2003 You can't force yourself to forgive him just because it would be the "right" thing to do. Forgiveness will come in time, but only when you're ready for it. Contacting him now will just put you in a bad place. Why go through all that hurt all over again? Link to post Share on other sites
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