vesper16 Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Thought this might be an interesting one to share, I'm not too fussed about it but thought it might add some insight into how girls act around guys they like vs. guys in the 'friendzone'... Girl I used to like comes back from her internship O/S, we've been friends for a while, we're happily chatting away catching up at lunchtime in the office as she's working on campus in the uni holidays. Now I thought it was a typical 'friendzone' conversation that she would have with one of her girlfriends and didn't think much of it, but noticed that she was dropping a few hints that we should hang out, not necessarily one on one but more catching up with our mutual friends, as well as drawing attention to the fact that she was single with Valentine's Day coming up and trying to get me to say whether I had a gf (I haven't). She didn't do it in an obvious way -- actually asked me what was a good gift to give a guy that she liked but when I was not sure how to respond she hurriedly added 'it's platonic' -- didn't want to make me jealous? Unfortunately I didn't inquire further as I was kind of busy that day and had to get back to work...any thoughts on this one? I like her a lot, yes, but as we've known each other for a while I'd like to find out what's going on with her first before I contemplate my next move, so to speak Link to post Share on other sites
Biohaz420 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Sounds as confusing as my mate situation lol. Simple, just ask her if she wants to hang out for coffee, if you think your still getting signals and it goes well etc, ask her if she would be up for a date worst that can happen is she says no. Try something like If it wouldnt be too weird, would you like to go out sometime. That way she knows your into her, but will back off if she dnt want it =D Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Unfortunately I didn't inquire further as I was kind of busy that day and had to get back to work...any thoughts on this one? I like her a lot, yes, but as we've known each other for a while I'd like to find out what's going on with her first before I contemplate my next move, so to speak This doesn't need to a be a strategic plan to take over the world. Just ask the girl out if you like her. You don't need contemplation, tactics, and a sure-fire guarantee that she's interested before making a move. That's a weenie position to take. Look, if you don't want to be in the friend zone, if a girl pays attention to you, ASK HER OUT. Anything else and she shelves you away as a friend. Take too long and some other guy will ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vesper16 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 This doesn't need to a be a strategic plan to take over the world. Just ask the girl out if you like her. You don't need contemplation, tactics, and a sure-fire guarantee that she's interested before making a move. That's a weenie position to take. Look, if you don't want to be in the friend zone, if a girl pays attention to you, ASK HER OUT. Anything else and she shelves you away as a friend. Take too long and some other guy will ask her out. Oh I agree. Though I'm an overthinker, I never do anything without analyzing it to death first! Am working on it though. Well I've been pretty busy with a major deadline coming up at the end of the week with work so have been a bit frazzled which hasn't helped in my attempts to ask her out. But it's a little tricky to ask someone out that you're already friends with and it gets harder the longer you know them. We went to the food court on campus to buy a coffee yesterday and the vibe was a bit... I dunno. Perhaps because I was little stressed the day she seemed to be giving me the signals and I wasn't as responsive that day, she seemed to be pulling back a bit the next time? Anyway it probably isn't as big a deal as it sounds here, it's just something that's been on playing my mind that's all. Have a lot of stuff going on in there sometimes I think I'll just try to relax more in interactions with her and if I'm feeling a positive vibe I'll just be a bit bolder and go for it. I *think* she may have sensed that I had a lot on my plate at the moment too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vesper16 Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 I think I'll just try to relax more in interactions with her and if I'm feeling a positive vibe I'll just be a bit bolder and go for it. I *think* she may have sensed that I had a lot on my plate at the moment too. Crap. I had a MASSIVE opening to ask her out today and didn't take it. It's a bit like waiting for a gap in the traffic before making a turn, if you take too long to react the moment will pass. Guys take note! No wonder girls think guys are idiots, I hate to say it but sometimes we do deserve it. Am not really down about it as we're still friends and I didn't have high expectations but I'm a little disappointed as it was still an opportunity. I'll move on for the time being, try not to focus on her too much but not ignoring her either. Link to post Share on other sites
San Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Oh I agree. Though I'm an overthinker, I never do anything without analyzing it to death first! Am working on it though. Well I've been pretty busy with a major deadline coming up at the end of the week with work so have been a bit frazzled which hasn't helped in my attempts to ask her out. But it's a little tricky to ask someone out that you're already friends with and it gets harder the longer you know them. We went to the food court on campus to buy a coffee yesterday and the vibe was a bit... I dunno. Perhaps because I was little stressed the day she seemed to be giving me the signals and I wasn't as responsive that day, she seemed to be pulling back a bit the next time? Anyway it probably isn't as big a deal as it sounds here, it's just something that's been on playing my mind that's all. Have a lot of stuff going on in there sometimes How bizarre, I'm the exact same situation, except I'm the girl. A male friend and I have been spending a bit more time together recently and I found out he is now single (he wasn't before). We met up for lunch one week, had a great time/conversation, went to dinner with mutual friends (my suggestion), went for coffee afterwards (his suggestion) and met up again for lunch the week after. Except this time he seemed a little frazzled from work and was a little nervy. This kind of put me off as I was planning on asking him to dinner/movie but when we parted he suggested we do dinner/lunch again which I interpreted as interest (to at least get to know me better). So I bit the bullet and asked if he wanted to meet up again and after a bit of scheduling (as he is ridiculously busy with work) we have set a date. I don't know if he is really interested but I figure I won't find out if I don't try. My advice to you is to just call/message/email her and set a date with just you two. If she is mentioning her singledom and enquiring about your availability she is *at least* interested to get to know you better. All signs say go. Good luck! PS. It's nice to hear guys are overthinkers too, I've wasted many brain cells pondering my situation Link to post Share on other sites
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