E books, trying to get your ex back?

[Difficult]

Hi,

 

Did anyone try an use one of those e books on how to win your ex back?? Did it work for anyone and did anyone sucessfully win their ex back??

[samspade]

I haven't....but use some logic. If it actually worked, those books would sell like hotcakes, and eventually their methods would be leaked and available for free.

 

Don't waste your money.

[westrock]

Often times people find themselves with relationship difficulties because they are doing the wrong thing or have the wrong approach. In that regard there is nothing wrong with learning new ideas and approaches whether it is from an ebook or a traditional printed book. One new idea presented in a certain way might change everything for you.

 

I don't agree with the previous poster's logic which implies that if something actually works it would have leaked out and be available for free. That implies that only free information is useful which is not true.

 

If you are concerned about buying an ebook, then look at printed books instead. Head down to your bookstore and check out the relationship section. You can browse through all the books and get a pretty good idea of what a book is teaching. If you find something useful, buy it.

[samspade]

That implies that only free information is useful which is not true.

 

That is a non sequitur, and not what I implied.

 

I have nothing against people seeking help and improvement, and if the OP wants to buy a book with some useful advice, more power to him.

 

However, if he is looking for some magic bullet to get his ex back, he is not going to find it. I'm recommending he save his money. A book on "how to win your ex back" promises what it can't deliver, but it's banking on the fact that desperate people will part with their money if they are offered a glimmer of hope like that.

 

If anyone here has bought a book like that and employed its technology with successful results, speak up.

[justletgo07]

The "get your ex back" e-books do provide some useful information, and give some good advice on how to stay busy, stay in NC, and get your mind back on track. However, pretty much all of the adive on these boards contains the same information, and in many cases, some posters have more or less summarized what the books say.

 

Some people will swear by the effectiveness of those e-books, and others will say they are a waste of time and money. I bought quite a few of them, and while they offered lots of useful information, they didn't bring my ex back. You will realize, in time, that nothing can...only them. There isn't anything you can say, do, or read that can make them come back or change their feelings for you. I know its hard to hear, but you'll come to accept it.

 

Hang in there.

[westrock]

Samspade, thanks for clearing that up. I agree with what you say - there is no magic bullet to get your ex back.

 

I think Justletgo's experience of learning "some useful information" is the extent to which potential purchasers should expect. With that approach, it may be worthwhile purchasing these books, but any expectations of more would be setting themselves up for disappointment.

[CaliGuy]

If you enjoy throwing your money away, buy E books. They make good fire kindling, but that's about it.

[Mustain2234]

I was able to locate and download, for free, "Magic of Making Up" (which is regarded as one of the most popular e-books on the subject) and wasn't blown away by anything.

 

Summarizing what the author said, you should --

 

Not contact ex for a month

In this time, work on improving yourself physically/mentally, date other people

After a month, contact them for a casual get-together

If everything goes well, go out again and proceed from there

 

There were several tips thrown about which may be useful (one of them was this idea that, when you and your ex are eating somewhere, act like he/she has food on their lip, or eye lash on their cheek, and to remove it with a napkin. This supposedly triggers a response in them that the two of you are together.)

 

What I'm not entirely a fan of is this concept brought upon by the author that after you two first meet after the breakout, and everything goes good, that the next step is to organize a fun activity for the both of you. I remember there was a picture of a roller coaster on the ebook. In addition, there should be several different places you go after the initial location so the ex will have a fond memory of the evening.

 

Now, to me, it just seems like jumping from having lunch (which I understand) to going out for an evening one-on-one, across several locations, is moving too quick. There's also the possibility, in my mind, that this will only reaffirm his/her position that the two of you are friends since, afterall, you're doing all these fun things together.

 

I, and probably most here, agree that if YOU were dumped for reasons that were out of your control, it's up to the dumper to initiate such a course of action. But obviously no one is going to sell their ebooks with nothing more than "It's entirely up to him/her."

[CaliGuy]

The problem is, Mustain, that the E books are banking on the fact the ex still wants to be with you.

 

If your ex doesn't want you, there is NOTHING you can do to win them back. EVER.

[paperchase]

The problem is, Mustain, that the E books are banking on the fact the ex still wants to be with you.

 

If your ex doesn't want you, there is NOTHING you can do to win them back. EVER.

 

Ain't this the truth. If the feeling is gone, you can't conjure it up. Sure you can go NC and fall off the map. That might make them reach out but mostly for curiosity. If you ignore them long enough they might act desperate to see you, but still it's probably just curiosity and ego at work. I do think if they still have feelings NC is your best bet because they need to miss you to realize your worth. Then again, if it takes missing you then you might be in for a tumultous relationship. Once they move on to a new love, even if they miss you somehow I think they still might not look back. Be realistic, how many of us have broken up with someone, moved on and then reached back into the past. It doesn't happen often.

 

I don't say this to put a damper on anyone's hopes. I recently got dumped for another man and my ex is in full pursuit of him. I remain hopeful that she'll come back but honestly she doesn't seem to be too worried about me. I've done stints of NC for a few days, or a week. Sometimes she writes, I respond and then she goes dark. It's obvious I'm not a priority. I'm going complete NC now unless she begs to see me. No texts fishing to see if I'll respond. Will complete NC make a difference? I'm sure in a month she'll wonder how I just seemingly forgot about her, but what does that really mean. It doesn't mean she wants me back so there's no value in those feelings for me. I'm hoping by remembering this, I can go NC indefinitely. That would probably be best for me.

[Tony T]

Hi,

 

Did anyone try an use one of those e books on how to win your ex back?? Did it work for anyone and did anyone successfully win their ex back??

 

I've been on the board nine years and I've seen thousands of posts by people trying to get their ex back. Most of the time it doesn't matter. Why people wait to read that trash when they ought to be concentrating on keeping their relationship together while it's in progress is beyond me.

 

Relationships end for a reason. When they are in the ongoing stage prior to marriage, they are in an adjustment stage...a stage to see if they can work long term...to see if BOTH of the participants are invested enough to want to see it work. When one is unhappy and those compromises and adjustments can't be made to everyone's satisfaction, THEY SHOULD END!

 

Relationships that resume after a break up can be a minefield. They only go forward in a fraction of cases. Breakups compromise trust and stability. They question loyalty and a whole lot more, depending on the cause. Surely, losing out on a heavy emotional and oftentimes financial investment in another human being is not the state fair. However, that's what the love game is all about. Losing is actually winning because staying in a relationship that's sure to eventually go south...or getting back into one that will simply continue going south after a month or two...is insane and a terrible idea.

 

Why don't the people of the world resolve to simply take their emotional lumps and move on rather than struggle to get something back that ain't there? Oh, yes, I suppose there are a handful of exceptions...maybe. Life is all about gambles. If somebody tells me they want out, they are out right then and there. If I get to a point of struggling every hour of every day to keep a relationship together then I am out of there. If somebody I am with won't take cues, won't meet me halfway, then I'm better off single. Why, in heaven's name, would I want to get back with them or them with me.

 

Most of the time at least one of the partnership that broke up is looking or already with another person to make miserable.

[foxh1234]

I've been on the board nine years and I've seen thousands of posts by people trying to get their ex back. Most of the time it doesn't matter. Why people wait to read that trash when they ought to be concentrating on keeping their relationship together while it's in progress is beyond me.

 

Relationships end for a reason. When they are in the ongoing stage prior to marriage, they are in an adjustment stage...a stage to see if they can work long term...to see if BOTH of the participants are invested enough to want to see it work. When one is unhappy and those compromises and adjustments can't be made to everyone's satisfaction, THEY SHOULD END!

 

Relationships that resume after a break up can be a minefield. They only go forward in a fraction of cases. Breakups compromise trust and stability. They question loyalty and a whole lot more, depending on the cause. Surely, losing out on a heavy emotional and oftentimes financial investment in another human being is not the state fair. However, that's what the love game is all about. Losing is actually winning because staying in a relationship that's sure to eventually go south...or getting back into one that will simply continue going south after a month or two...is insane and a terrible idea.

 

Why don't the people of the world resolve to simply take their emotional lumps and move on rather than struggle to get something back that ain't there? Oh, yes, I suppose there are a handful of exceptions...maybe. Life is all about gambles. If somebody tells me they want out, they are out right then and there. If I get to a point of struggling every hour of every day to keep a relationship together then I am out of there. If somebody I am with won't take cues, won't meet me halfway, then I'm better off single. Why, in heaven's name, would I want to get back with them or them with me.

 

Most of the time at least one of the partnership that broke up is looking or already with another person to make miserable.

 

This is so very very true. Best post I have read on this forum, period.

[CaliGuy]

Thank you, Tony. I've been here 4 years and seen the same thing. If your ex doesn't want you back, you can poop in one hand and wish in the other. The one that fills up first gives you a pretty idea of what to expect if you chase an ex that doesn't want to be with you.

 

There is NOTHING more pathetic than chasing someone who has moved on. You might as well put your entire life on hold. The happiness and joy you would have experienced with someone new has been completely wasted on someone old....

[badbrit]

Well some interesting opinions being bandied around and some truths touched on.

 

These books are not a waste of time at all and are quite interesting generally as they add to knowledge of human dynamics, reactions to situations, feelings, how they can naturally work and how to make yourself as attractive as possible. Nothing wrong with understanding how feelings, emotions and thoughts can work.

 

Now read my exact wording here please and understand it - They can help you to reignite the interest of a runaway ex providing that ex still holds some interest in you. The methods in these books, if followed, will help to ensure you do not act in such a way that distinquises any remaining flame inside your ex and can stoke that fire. BUT there has to still be that fire inside them in the first place.

 

If the ex has totally emotionally disconnected and is truly not interested in you on any level, there is NOTHING you can do except accept it and move on as it will not change.

 

But if there is interest, logic anc commonsense tells you that there are methods to increase your chances of getting an ex back to you. Think about it in reverse. We all know and acknowledge that you can act in a certain way to ensure they do NOT ever come back - act like a nutter, stalk them, tell them they can sleep around for months and you will wait, always look miserable and let your appearance and personality suffer, shout at them with anger etc. Act in any of that way and come on, no ex is going to want to come back to you and all that will happen is that remaining feelings will shrink and shrink until you have zero chance.

 

So if certain actions can diminish your chances, surely certain actions can INCREASE them and that is what these books are about. Teaching ways that increase the chances BUT as I said there has to be remaining interest in you from that ex.

 

I have used the ebooks and been a member of a forum with other people who use them and they worked for me and for others, exactly as they should. Not for everyone though and it only failed in the cases where it was clear there was no interest from the ex (which in truth is most cases). My at-that-time ex had remaining interest and it worked like a charm and I got her back when it seemed a lost cause. However her interest was low and that is why she left in the first place. i got her back sure but it was never the same, the reasons she left in the first place were still there and over time her interest waned and waned until we split 18 months later (last March) and when she left the second time, she had NO interest remaining and so nothing could fix it so I have not even tried. We see each other a few times a week as we share a child and she has NO interest. I feel that in most cases, interest from another person in you will never recover totally once it has began to wane. You can increase it to a certain point, but a fatal blow has been dealt to it normally so that you are always fighting a losing battle

 

So in summary. My opinion, based on situations I have observed and experienced is this -

1. They do work if there is interest remaining.

2. They will not fix the problem long term, underlying problems will normally cause a split again at a later point.

3. If there is no interest, nothing will work.

4. The tactics they talk about increase your chances of attracting them back to you but do nothing to fix the relationship and sooner or later you are just back in the same old situation, with them having lowered interest in you.

 

I feel that you can attract an ex back, but if they leave you, 9 times out of 10 you should let them go as they went for a reason and you are unlikely to ever live happily ever after with them. But every situation is different, sometimes there are genuine reasons a person leaves, reasons that can be fixed but they are rare. Evaluate your own situation with honesty.

[BCCA]

The amount of strength, forgiveness, comprimise, effort, and understanding required to make a relationship work in the first place is already hard enough. It goes up even more once the bond has been broken once.

 

There is a critical difference between someone being mad and breaking up with you in a haste, and someone genuinely not happy in the relationship. Most people's ex's are the latter, sadly. I agree that these books are good for a general understanding of relationship dynamics, self reflection, and self improvement, but they're marketed as a sure fire way to get your ex back, and one does not exist.

 

The books will create interest or garner a response in most cases, and if thats what it takes to get back together, chances are you didnt need the book. In cases where there is still interest, just going NC and moving on would have still been your best bet. If they come back and you can work things out, great, but you should be in the position of power. These books teach you to give that up for the sake of just getting back together. You were the one dumped, and if you dont re-adjust that dynamic before getting back with someone, they will always have the upper hand.

 

Going NC and assuming its over for good is still the best thing to do. You dont need to spend money to get that advice.

[Peter_pan]

If you enjoy throwing your money away, buy E books. They make good fire kindling, but that's about it.

 

agreed!!!!

[RecordProducer]

Hi,

 

Did anyone try an use one of those e books on how to win your ex back?? Did it work for anyone and did anyone sucessfully win their ex back??

I am sure there are unwritten rules that work. If there are mistakes, then there are rules. If calling your ex sixty times a day and begging her to come back to you is a mistake then the rule is: don't do this.

 

If you've done extensive research on what you should and shouldn't do, then a book would probably provide the same advice, more or less. Whether it works really depends on the lovers, not the books. A husband who left his iwfe of twenty years for a young stripper could probably employ lots of startegic moves to have her ex on his knees someday, begging her to take him back.

 

However, if somebody dumped you because they are not attracted to you at all (anymore), and they're madly in love with someone else, there's probably not much you can do.

[CaliGuy]

However, if somebody dumped you because they are not attracted to you at all (anymore), and they're madly in love with someone else, there's probably not much you can do.

 

This, suffice to say, is why so many second chances fail and why so many dumpees are left scratching their heads.

 

They don't realize that their ex isn't attracted to them anymore and they think they can manipulate them back into their lives.

 

Sorry. Ain't gonna happen. If your ex doesn't find you attractive anymore you might as well beat your head against the wall. It'll do about the same good as trying to get your ex back.

[CryMeARiver]

God, I thought I would NEVER be so "pathetic" as to buy an E Book on how to win my ex back. Well when you sit in your living room crying and not eating for several days, you are willing to try anything. I do think they prey some on the emotionally wrecked; and 40 bucks for something that took me thirty minutes to read kinda made me wince.

 

At any rate though, I wouldnt say it was a TOTAL waste of money. The one I have made sense and pinpointed how I acted (smothering somewhat) that helped drive off my guy. It helps reaffirm the no contact rule, and WHY! And helps you plan ahead to events that are gonna happen...like accidental meetings and so on. As tore up as I am, if I see him I could vomit on spot from nerves! LOL Sad but true. So, I have began to think of how to handle it so it won't be so severe when it does happen. And when it does, how to not start whining and making him tense up again. The book suggest reattacting a man with his eyes and reminding him of what attracted you in the first place:

 

Remember when you first met? You had their attention and everything was magical and you could be yourself? You had no hangups, the conversation was light and fun, and you talked about yourselves and your lives UP to that point...but there were no serious talks that made each other uncomfy. If you run into an ex and start where you left off (tension, you crying, begging, pushing the envelope) it will make him uncomfy, perhaps even think you are crazy lol and reaffirm why he broke up with you in the first place. So, they tell you to regain your confidence, independence, to look and feel your best...and let him come to you. Or if he don't, non challantly run into him at a club or party (taking care it's not an ambush). I don't think it's a bad plan. Is it a gurantee? I admit the odds are stacked but this helps you deal with it and certainly not HURT further chances. And I just told you all this for free! haha

 

Me? Im in the gym. Losing weight. Reconnecting with myself. Learning to dance soon, reinventing me. Do I have to change for him? No, I need to make MYSELF feel good. I want him back horrible and would do anything, but Im trying to through my hat in the ring one more time on my hopefully better terms and this time, with my dignity.

[copaisking]

honestly, i've brought about 7 of these eBooks (yes, paying $40+ for each one) and they are good. Did they bring my ex and I back together? No. The techniques actually pushed her further away... now she won't speak to me at all. You see, they are very general techniques and not situation specific.

 

The self help part of the books are great, and everyone who has just gone through a break up should start focusing on themselves... go to the gym (endorphins), get a new haircut, get some new clothes. You should start dating again, you should use 'instant shift techniques' to help you stop thinking about the ex... but in all reality, you brought the book to get your ex back as quickly as possible, and in my situation... it didn't work.

 

You see... i'm a personal trainer... I work out every day... i've been told i'm good looking, I had a haircut, and I got some new clothes. I even went out on a few dates... but I felt like total sh&t after all of this. The technique of NC just made her think that she never knew me at all, and that I didn't give a flying f@ck about her... obviously, when I reconnected using the techniques in the eBooks, she cut me down, and told me that she had granted me my wish of never seeing her or speaking to her again and she would continue to grant me that wish...

 

To all of those out there who are considering buying these eBooks, don't bother. Here they are in a nutshell:

 

1. 25-30 days of NC

2. Start focusing on you, gym, hair, clothes etc

3. Start dating

4. Take pics when you're out with your friends 'having a blast'

5. Post pics on myspace/facebook/wherever your ex will see them

6. Make sure ex finds out you're dating

7. Search for reason why you split, its usually that you got boring and the relationship was mundane

8. Reconnect pretending to be friends (ummmmm... this is when I got blown out)

9. Subtly remind her of good times

10. Go on more dates, get married, buy a house with a white picket fence, have 2 kids, live happily ever after, forgetting that your ex put your through 2 months at least of pure mental torture.

 

As I said... they're good but they are what they are, and that is a business. They prey on the broken hearted by making false promises that 86% of the people that buy the ebooks get there ex back.. and if you're not back with your ex in 60 days, you get a refund. 60 days is 2 months... you'll start to be over them by then anyway...and will probably forget about the refund right? Thats what they bank on.

 

I'm not slagging them off, but I do believe that they give a lot of false hope.

[CaliGuy]

honestly, i've brought about 7 of these eBooks (yes, paying $40+ for each one) and they are good. Did they bring my ex and I back together? No. The techniques actually pushed her further away... now she won't speak to me at all. You see, they are very general techniques and not situation specific.

 

The books assume for the most part that you did something to make your ex angry (thinking you didn't love them) and then tries to repair the damage. The problem is that many people are dumped because their Ex doesn't feel the same way anymore (and most likely they have someone new). In cases like that, none of these books are going to help. And IMHO, this is the MAJORITY of breakups. So as you can see, the books MAY help the people in the smallest percentage group (I'd say about 5% or less of the total breakups).

 

The self help part of the books are great, and everyone who has just gone through a break up should start focusing on themselves... go to the gym (endorphins), get a new haircut, get some new clothes. You should start dating again, you should use 'instant shift techniques' to help you stop thinking about the ex... but in all reality, you brought the book to get your ex back as quickly as possible, and in my situation... it didn't work.

 

I'd say in about 99% of the cases, they won't work. When women make the decision to leave it's usually final. Especially if they have someone new already in the works.

 

You see... i'm a personal trainer... I work out every day... i've been told i'm good looking, I had a haircut, and I got some new clothes. I even went out on a few dates... but I felt like total sh&t after all of this. The technique of NC just made her think that she never knew me at all, and that I didn't give a flying f@ck about her... obviously, when I reconnected using the techniques in the eBooks, she cut me down, and told me that she had granted me my wish of never seeing her or speaking to her again and she would continue to grant me that wish...

 

Too many people worry that NC will make their Ex forget them when in reality, that will never happen. If your ex truly feels they made a mistake (male or female), they will let you know and no amount of NC will stop them from finding you. All you have to do as an individual is work on rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem.

 

The reason your ex cut you down was that she felt the relationship wasn't right for her. On top of that, YOU as the dumpee did the pursuing. This always leads to failure. If the dumper doesn't want to reconnect or repair the relationship there is nothing on earth the dumpee can do it about it. You need BOTH people in the relationship to want it to work. If only one wants it then you simply do not have a relationship.

 

To all of those out there who are considering buying these eBooks, don't bother. Here they are in a nutshell:

 

I'm going to add my comments to each one...

 

1. 25-30 days of NC

 

Do NC until the ex contacts YOU. If they never do, you have your answer. In the meantime, live your life to the fullest.

 

2. Start focusing on you, gym, hair, clothes etc

 

Yes definitely. But do this even when you are dating. Always take good care of yourself.

 

3. Start dating

 

I disagree. Date when you feel you can go on a date and not bring up your ex. Until then I would abstain from dating. Hang out with friends but don't go on any official dates.

 

4. Take pics when you're out with your friends 'having a blast'

5. Post pics on myspace/facebook/wherever your ex will see them

 

#4: That's fine as long as you're not doing it to make your ex jealous.

#5: No no no. Any ex with half a brain is going to see that as trying to make them jealous. I personally believe you should hide everything you can from your ex. They should have zero access to your life if they walk away.

 

6. Make sure ex finds out you're dating

 

Again, no. These are all manipulation tactics. If your ex comes back only because he/she is jealous, they will leave just as fast. You have to get to the root cause of why the relationship failed and learn from that, exactly what is said in #7

 

7. Search for reason why you split, its usually that you got boring and the relationship was mundane

 

Agreed.

 

8. Reconnect pretending to be friends (ummmmm... this is when I got blown out)

 

No, let THEM reconnect. If they don't then so be it. You'll know it's over for good. In the meantime, LIVE YOUR LIFE.

 

9. Subtly remind her of good times

 

Why?! They know about the good times but it wasn't enough to keep them around then, why would it make them come back again? If they are in another relationship (and odds are they will be) then reminding them of the good times will be perceived on their end as creepy and manipulative. Neither of which will spark attraction again.

 

10. Go on more dates, get married, buy a house with a white picket fence, have 2 kids, live happily ever after, forgetting that your ex put your through 2 months at least of pure mental torture.

 

LOL

 

As I said... they're good but they are what they are, and that is a business. They prey on the broken hearted by making false promises that 86% of the people that buy the ebooks get there ex back.. and if you're not back with your ex in 60 days, you get a refund. 60 days is 2 months... you'll start to be over them by then anyway...and will probably forget about the refund right? Thats what they bank on.

 

I'm not slagging them off, but I do believe that they give a lot of false hope.

 

That is because as I said before, these books are based on the premise that you screwed up and made your ex believe you didn't love them. The tactics they use are great if that is the case. But most likely the reason your ex left you is because they fell out of love with you and fell for someone else. In that case, these books are worthless.

 

PS: As a personal trainer you should have access to a lot of attractive women at the gym. From a personal and professional aspect you should be talking to as many of them as you can. It will boost your confidence and self-esteem and you might end up with some new clients in the process.

 

Cheers.

[brokenglass]

The problem is, Mustain, that the E books are banking on the fact the ex still wants to be with you.

 

If your ex doesn't want you, there is NOTHING you can do to win them back. EVER.

 

Yeah I wasn't dumb enough to actually buy the Magic of Making Up (I had a friend who had done that already ) but I printed it out, went through it, started the process of doing things for myself, being selective on my words to her, all that.

 

And it seemed to work great for like, I don't know 2 weeks? I for real thought I was on the right track to snagging her heart back.

 

And then she tells me she had already slept with 3 people in the 20 day or so span from when she moved her stuff out to that day.

 

I threw the book away the next day.

[WiseOne1]

Yeah I wasn't dumb enough to actually buy the Magic of Making Up (I had a friend who had done that already ) but I printed it out, went through it, started the process of doing things for myself, being selective on my words to her, all that.

 

And it seemed to work great for like, I don't know 2 weeks? I for real thought I was on the right track to snagging her heart back.

 

And then she tells me she had already slept with 3 people in the 20 day or so span from when she moved her stuff out to that day.

 

I threw the book away the next day.

 

Well that's 1 main rule I have of breakups, I never and I mean never take someone back after they slept with someone else, I've had many ex's come back after sleeping with other guys, 4 to be exact.

 

But about the e-books I also got a free copy of the Magic Of Making Up book and it worked to get my ex back for 2 days, and then everything was back to normal with here "not feeling the same anymore".

 

I spent enough money on my ex that I regret, I couldn't fathom spending extra money trying to get her back after she was already gone.

[Perrier]

I purchased two ebooks, Magic of Making Up and Stop Your Breakup by Tigress Love. Didn't go a bundle on Magic but enjoyed Tigress Luv's manual as it had insgihtful psychological stuff and didnt take up pages and pages on how to eat healthily and groom yourself after you've been abandoned like some disapointing books I've read.

 

Im not sure if it works TBH, my situation is a bit complicated and I read the books for my own interest, though I'd apply the tactics stated in future if need be. Like most of the posters here I think basic psychology which you can find here or through free google searches gives most of the info you'll ever need. It depends on whether you are the dumper or the dumpee. Usually the dumper has the upper hand so unless they return to you first, you as the dumpee should refrain from shooting yourself in the foot by making the first move.

 

As has already been stated, the dumpee, usually depserate and panicked goes into emotional overdrive in an attempt to make the dumper realise their mistake and in doing so their actions further cement for the dumper the reason why they left. I think if you've bveen dumped it's usually better to assume its the end otherwise you'll screw yourself up wondering and trying to encourage a disinterested party which will affect your self repsect. If there is no more feeling left in the dumper, it's likely curtains for the relationship anyway. Only the dumper knows how they feel

 

I wonder how many men buy these books as they seem to be mostly aimed at women. Also I've lost the password to Tigress' ebook, it's a secured pdf download so if anyone knows where I can get a free download

My two cents

[copaisking]

yea, CaliGuys advice is good.

 

I followed the advice in these books to the 't' and i'm not with her now... and she doesn't want anything to do with me because of the way I acted when we first split up (no contact, telling her to stop contacting me, her seeing other girls comment on my myspace etc). This breaks my heart, but if I step out of my frame, I can see why this would kind of piss her off. She genuinely doesn't want anything to do with me, at all. Wished me the world..but she's not part of that world, were her actual words.

 

As I said, these eBooks are not situation specific. My situation was that she got scared of falling quickly etc etc (basically she got bored...living the life we were living, and the fact that i'm sh^t when it comes to following through on goals etc). These eBooks are great in certain situations, like if you have a massive arguement and make a silly decision like 'you're dumped!!!' etc... but for more complex situations, such as mine, and for 70% of break ups, they simply will not work, and trust me, will cause you more heart ache in the long run...

 

Ill be ok though, i'm stronger than I was 2 months ago, and I know i'm going to be stronger in the future. If you want to invest in something, try Ultimate Inner Game by a guy called Hypnotica, its expensive, and on DVD's, but to me it was worth it (i'm not affiliated in ANY way). Its NLP about building up YOUR happiness from the core... and thats whats important here, is YOU! not the ex... you will always have a place for them in your heart, but make it a small place that you don't think about anymore.

 

CaliGuy..i'm a private personal trainer in my house in L.A., so no gym chicks

 

I know I will move on, I know I will, right now, I don't want to date, I just want to focus on me...