ATL Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 A little background: My girlfriend and I were dating for about 6 months before I had to move about 1,000 miles away to go to law school. We both knew this when we started dating, but decided to give it a shot anyways. The first semester was tough, but we made it through it. Law school often got in the way but we were able to see each other once before Christmas break. She recently came to visit for a week and everything was great. We both love each other and had talked about spending our life together. However, just recently she found out that she got a job next year after school and would be away from me for another year. Well about a couple of days ago she told me she was no longer happy and needed time to figure things out. I don't know if it is worth it to try and keep this LDR going for another year, if that is even possible, or just acknowledge that the relationship has come to an end. Any words of wisdom or advice would be helpful. I'm struggling over here. Link to post Share on other sites
Skylar Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I think LDR are very hard, but if she makes you happy then you should work as hard as you can to keep her. If she isn't willing, then it is best for you to go too... Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I am sorry this is happening. If you just recently had a great visit - it must be the additional year of distance that is getting to her or possibly something else. Have the two of you made plans for the future? That can help both people stay focused on the eventual life together instead of the difficulty of the relationship now. The LDR is only as strong as the two people in it. Commitments get tested. The ache of longing can get to be a really difficult thing to bear. And that longing and ache can be unbearable if there is no end in sight. (Believe me I know.) That alone can call the commitment into question just because it is too much to take. Have you tried asking her to talk about how she is feeling just so you can hear her ad try to understand? If she will, try to just let her vent about it initially. Don't jump in to try to combat the feelings. It may just be a patch you guys need to work through which may take a little bit of time. It isn't like a disagreement which is talked about and then over. Also, is there any way that you guys are going to be able to have a visit soon? That could really help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ATL Posted February 12, 2009 Author Share Posted February 12, 2009 Thanks for the advice Island Girl. I talked to her last night for a little bit. She said that she needs space and time to get her head straight. She says the problem was that she felt I wasn't putting my all into the relationship because of law school and the time commitments that come with it. I was trying to do the best I could and to balance everything, but obviously didn't do a very good job. I'm going home in three weeks, we made plans to meet up for coffee then. For now its just hard having your support system gone. Link to post Share on other sites
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