LDR Over but what about...

[NCdude]

Well, talk about a rollercoaster. She is supposedly coming tomorrow. Her, her sister, and her mom were going to come tomorrow, we were gonna spend the day in atlanta, and they were gonna leave that night. They have horses and dogs and cant leave them longer than that, on short notice. Anyways, I said how about you just stay with me when your mom leaves? She said maybe and seemed weird about it, then she wouldnt talk about it. Eventually she said she had to go.

 

I texted her and just said give me an answer, I dont care whichever way.

She got back on msn and said, "Ok I'll try to stay longer." Well it turns out she can't miss class tomorrow and its at noon. They were planning on taking an early flight and leaving on a late flight. Well, since her class doesnt even end til noon, that kinda messes up everything. Well she went away for a while when her mom got home. She texted me and said get on msn. I got on and she said, "Ok, my mom said i can try and get a flight out tomorrow, after class, stay the night with you, then my mom and sis will come Saturday morning and we will go to Atlanta." I said thats great!

 

Soooooo, she is non-rev flying and its a friday, so no guarentee its gonna work out. I just hope so much it does. I kinda wanted to hang out with all of them tomorrow, then have her to myself the following day. That way, I would have had time to build up an interest, then have her by myself to take her on a date or something and try my best. However, now its going to be us by ourselves, then with her mom and sis, so if anything builds up, its hard to get close when we are with them. But, I will take this over nothing anyday Beggers cant be choosers. I will be more than happy if she makes it here tomorrow.

 

Pray she makes it on the plane please

 

I'll update ya after it all goes down.

 

 

P.S. It was suppose to mean North Carolina dude, to keep some sort of anonymity. Of course I was nervous this thread would be found by someone I knew, but I kinda threw that out the window when I started telling the story and including all of the details

[NCdude]

I see Island Girl replying to topics above mine.... Maybe I'm next

[Island Girl]

I see Island Girl replying to topics above mine.... Maybe I'm next

 

Now you're first actually!

 

Se what I mean about your personality?!!

Really - all the girls are missing out because you're voluntarily off the market!

 

Well, talk about a rollercoaster. She is supposedly coming tomorrow. Her, her sister, and her mom were going to come tomorrow, we were gonna spend the day in atlanta, and they were gonna leave that night. They have horses and dogs and cant leave them longer than that, on short notice. Anyways, I said how about you just stay with me when your mom leaves? She said maybe and seemed weird about it, then she wouldnt talk about it. Eventually she said she had to go.

 

Okay - so now the trip is back on! Fantastic!

 

You haven't seen this girl for over a year now, correct?

So you really may be able to stir things up.

Just be your charming, engaging, and witty self and you'll have no problems!

 

I texted her and just said give me an answer, I dont care whichever way.

She got back on msn and said, "Ok I'll try to stay longer." Well it turns out she can't miss class tomorrow and its at noon. They were planning on taking an early flight and leaving on a late flight. Well, since her class doesnt even end til noon, that kinda messes up everything. Well she went away for a while when her mom got home. She texted me and said get on msn. I got on and she said, "Ok, my mom said i can try and get a flight out tomorrow, after class, stay the night with you, then my mom and sis will come Saturday morning and we will go to Atlanta." I said thats great!

 

Wonderful news! Make it a really great night -- remember NO TALK about the relationship - the boyfriend, etc. if she brings up anything of the sort then shift the subject immediately but not in a noticeable way.

 

If it feels right you can tell her about the possible transfer - but you're going to have to figure that one out if it fits the evening and how to say it so she understands you can and are willing to - but not if her situation is unchanged.

 

Soooooo, she is non-rev flying and its a friday, so no guarentee its gonna work out. I just hope so much it does. I kinda wanted to hang out with all of them tomorrow, then have her to myself the following day. That way, I would have had time to build up an interest, then have her by myself to take her on a date or something and try my best. However, now its going to be us by ourselves, then with her mom and sis, so if anything builds up, its hard to get close when we are with them. But, I will take this over nothing anyday Beggers cant be choosers. I will be more than happy if she makes it here tomorrow.

 

Yes! I hope so too. But keep in mind it can work the other way around too. Where you have a wonderful time alone and broach the subject. Then you are in the group situation and do not exchange any "special" looks or gestures. Be nice - be your regular self - but no stolen moments (I hope that makes sense). You may see her trying to get a look or something. Act oblivious. It will drive her crazy that way.

 

Pray she makes it on the plane please

 

I am already there with you. It just has got to happen!

 

I'll update ya after it all goes down.

 

YOU BETTER!!!

 

 

P.S. It was suppose to mean North Carolina dude, to keep some sort of anonymity. Of course I was nervous this thread would be found by someone I knew, but I kinda threw that out the window when I started telling the story and including all of the details

 

I was right!!! LOL North Carolina is beautiful BTW. I loved it there.

 

I see Island Girl replying to topics above mine.... Maybe I'm next

[NCdude]

ok yeah she didn't make it. and they aren't coming tomorrow either. I don't know what to do. I think I'm gonna go in a corner of my room for..... about a month. Cya

[Island Girl]

ok yeah she didn't make it. and they aren't coming tomorrow either. I don't know what to do. I think I'm gonna go in a corner of my room for..... about a month. Cya

 

Damn! I am so sorry!

 

It sucks to get your hopes up like that and have PLANS and then not be able to go through with all of it.

 

Ugh.

 

Do something to help yourself feel better if you can.

[Cora]

I don't mean to cut in here. I just wanted to say I have been keeping up with your posts NCdude and was so hoping that visit would go through for you!! I know how it feels to get your hopes up and then be let down. I know how much you were looking forward to it and this just really SUCKS!!! When I read your last post and found out she wasn't coming I could almost feel your pain. I am so very sorry. Please don't get too discouraged. I know it's hard. Hang in there!!!!

[NCdude]

Yeah, I'd go do something to make me feel better if not basically every single one of my friends didnt go back to our hometown this weekend. I stayed for her to come lol.

 

But yeah, you're fine, it's not cutting in I know it seems like a conversation between just me and Island Girl (which I am lucky to have caught her attention enough), but all posts and especially advice:p is welcome.

 

Glad to know ya read it all, it's quite a read. And yes it does suck, very bad (very very). When I found out, I just did my best to fall asleep. I did get a bit of an hour nap. My stomach hurt so bad, I couldnt eat all day, and that just made it worse. I went and played an online game with a friend and that helped me get out of the slump enough to eat something. I started feeling better and ended up talking to her a bit. Feels good to hear her say how bad she felt that she could come.

 

I'm a bit better now. I've gotten pretty good at these ups and downs Thankfully it wasn't planned for too long so that its just starting to go into the back of my head as a short little attempt at something that didnt work out.

 

However, I had a good talk with her about 20 minutes ago. I might post the details, but not right now. In short (or as short as I can put it.... not a good sign), I randomly said how much I missed her and she said that she wishes she was here so bad right now. Then i went on to say i want her back so bad and she said she wishes it was like it was before. Then she went on explaining why she isn't making it happen right now. It made since, what she was saying, but i couldnt relate becuase to me it wasn't enough reason. BUT we will leave that for another lil conversation of ours and we can analyze it a bit, if you don't mind Just not ready to get into that yet. The main thing I wanna get at, is that I hate myself.

 

When conversations are goin good, i can'tjust leave it at that. I gotta go all out and move into "mission mode" - on a mission to type huge paragraphs in msn about why she should come back to me. Then I just get annoying and ruin the mood. I gotta realize I should leave it on those notes and let it slowly progress and not shove it down her throat.

[nittanylion]

I am sorry that you are going through this. Its not fair to you that she is stringing you along. I think its best that you have NC with her. Its too much pain for you to continue to play second fiddle. You should do something else to keep yourself busy, and take your mind off.

 

This is what I am afraid my gf will do to me(see my post). I am trying to hang in with her. For now, she is with me, and hope she does not have a change of heart. I hope we will move together end of this year. This is our plan.

 

I hope she changes her mind and comes back to you but it does not looking good now. But, in the meantime, focus on yourself. Block her im, email and everything else.

 

Hope everything work out for you.

[NCdude]

Well I do that, halfway. I do other things and keep my mind off her. This has just been a heated time. I have hobbies and friends and do alot. But in my downtime, she is always on my mind. Once things speed up again after this lil mishap about her not coming, we will go back to talking on occasion, ups and downs, but me still living my life and doing what i do to keep myself occupied. She doesnt take over my entire life.... not all the time. Times like this... yes, but its not constant. I'm jus gonna kick it back into gear and go back to our normal little ups and downs and talking on occasion, until i see her. I can guarentee I'll see her before or during summer.

It can't come soon enough I'm ready to either close the book, knowing I was at the last page (closure and knowing it wasnt going to work and go NC forevermore....) or find that there are more pages and read on to the happy ending I hope that makes sense. I really wanted to use that analogy, whether it worked or not haha:cool:

[NCdude]

I'm going to summarize this post in a paragraph at the bottom as well, if you want to know what i said and just don't feel like reading it all. Sorry, its 5 am and I'm bored and felt like giving an update and started rambling (and its probably rather repetitive).

Update:

 

Been semi NC. If she texts, i don't show huge interest. I make it seem as if im busy and that is the priority. Sometimes i dont even reply, but jus let it remain the casual friendly text when i get around to it. I'm jus gonna do this til the end of the week and be like, so are you coming this weekend? Since she will try sometime soon.

I just figured I'd ride it out this way, 1 - 3 texts a day (sometimes none, like on Sunday). until she either comes or it all disappears. I find myself not as anxious about her when its like this. Like.. no matter which way it goes, its whatever. Its just like straddling the fence when we're barely talking like this.

This wasn't just random though, i kinda had a talk with myself (no im not a weirdo, you know what i mean ) And weighed out the odds, looked at it from an outside point of view and was just as honest with myself as i could be. Also had a conversation with another girl friend of mine, one that i will never end up with but one that is a very good friend of mine from highschool. She called me at a bad time one day and I told her a lot of what was going on cause she asked for it when i sounded like something was wrong. So yeah, we talked again and i used her as an outlet again to hear the situation and be able to rationalize.

 

Also, her (ldr girl) had a semi-fight with her bf. then i got the privilage of seeing his huge makeup paragraph of how great she is and how much he loves her. I couldn't help but put a comment above it, "yeah right, you're jus in trouble and tryin to fix things. She's heard it all before" Something to that extend.... I expect her to get mad at me but she hasn't said a single word about it. This was also an eye opener for me. I can just imagine how it goes... she reads it.. melts and goes back to normal. Its my assumption, but whatever. I know she is like that cause if i ever got on her nerves, it only took a few words of how much i loved her to fix things. Usually it was in a joking way though like... She'd get irritated and I'd say cmon dont get mad about it and she'd laugh and say ok tell me how much ya love me. She loved to hear stuff like that. ANYWAYS my point being, I dunno what it was about it, but when I read that I was just like... ok thats the way its gonna be. Them two. She might not care enough to put in the effort anymore cause she is content and he is trying enough to keep her there. Not just that though, but I dont remember my train of thought.... did alot of thinking that night.

I know she cares about me, and would love to have me, but just not enough anymore. She has had a taste of things near to her and she's backing down from the challenge in front of her (being with me). She is gaining interest in something new and losing interest in something old. People move on and I can't blame her for the way she feels. She feels what she feels and she can't change that. Whether its that she feels a whole lot less for me or that she just doesnt feel enough to overcome her feelings of doubt in the situation. (man im repetitive). Anyways, this is just a sobering vent. Not closing the book yet gonna let it play out and slowly die or whatever happens to it. Just venting my thoughts.

 

By the way..... I wish i wasn't so picky I had to write and essay for class but didnt buy the book yet and they were sold out. E-mailed a girl that sat near me and she showed a ton of interest... or maybe she is jsut very very friendly. offered to go out of her way to help me out. I mean, i have standards, which I plan to keep... but I'm also picky... dang it....

Maybe I will be less picky if this LDR finally ends (by finally i dont mean YAY! but somewhat, in an exhausted sort of way) because then I won't unconciously compare everyone to her. "Meh, I'll pass, she is better so no reason to go for osmething less, I can handle to wait for the best and my perfect girl :)" Since that may not be happening anymore.... well you get the point.

 

 

It's weird to see myself type all of this... actually thinking of things outside of the LDR. Scary... because I want her so much, but at the same time... good. I don't know. I've been in a weirdly neutral mood lately. I guess that just reinforces the "on the fence, either way is whatever" thing. I mean, things havent changed a ton since i started this thread. We had a bunch of confidence in it and you gave great advice, which I could still follow wholeheartedly if I wanted. But i just kinda feel the need to prepare myself for if it does go for the worst. Thats why this post sounds so much like.. its over. Of course I wouldn't mind being shocked back into "Things are back to normal! everythings going great! She came back because she realized... blah blah blah"... But thats jsut it, i'd rather be shocked back into it then shocked with her leaving because thats much worse

 

 

SUMMARY:

Been having rare contact with her lately, my choice. She has even tried to talk some and I seemed busy, just replied at my leisure. Going to do this from here on out but still offer her to come since she said she probly will soon because she didnt make it. But I'm not going to be pushing it, if it happens it happens, if it doesn't itll just go on like this until it slowly dies off.

I did a lot of thinking and I have put myself on the fence. It can go either way and I am fine. I am jsut exhausted. I am glad i go to this point, i am not as anxious about her. I dunno why but maybe God's just giving me a break and let me sober up and look at it for real. I've jus done my best to look at it from and outside point and realize she might not be into it as much anymore and she isn't willing to put the effort in because she is content enough with her bf. I know she cares for me, and does want me... but not enough anymore, and i udnerstand that. People move on.

Also, her and her bf even had a small fight, but he did his attempt to fix things and from what i can tell, they are still fine. I dont see her leaving him anytime soon. She just isnt into me as much anymore, she is satisfied with what is in front of her.

If you read the summary, read the two paragraphs before the summary I had a bit of reaching out to another girl... almost.

 

P.S. Thanks again to those of you who took interest enough to reply. Of course, especially you Island Girl. I appreciate it very much. Just thought about it as i was posting this and it feels great to have had people to share this with and get advice from. This is the only time I've been able to tell it all, and in detail. Also the only time I've gotten advice and responses in detail. I have been surprised at the interest you have taken in it, even though I'm some random North Carolina/Atlanta dude... haha. Thanks