Wow its all comeing to a head!!!!!

[briteyes]

my husband is movimg is moving in 2 weeks do to the affairs we both had!!! I cant tell you how much that whole process has pissed me off the process of him moving that is ! Well to start he has been trying to find a second job to help with the single person income!! What the hell does he mean over the course of our 8 year marriage i have asked him to get a 2nd job more times than i can count and he had more excuses thatn a man going to jail why he couldnt!! Then he had the nerve to ask me could he stay here as room mates so he didnt have to work 2 jobs i said hell no u r not gonna use me for money !! So back to the things that piss me the hell off!! I have worked up to 3 jobs at times to get us by so let me get this straight u value me at the same palce as a piece of **** u can get a 2nd job for u when your alone but not for your family u just exspect me to do it !! C why i am pissed is he for real and he dosent plan on paying child support cause he cant afford it cause of money reason !! And it gets better he doaent want anything but most of its mine anyway but wants a pity party on not having enough money to get what he wants!! R u for real!! He has the nerve to say oh i want this new and that new who thehell do u think you r rockafella!!

I feel so damn used by all things i am seeing its retarted!! He walks around tralking and living his secret life while i am trying to heal its making it so hard!!! U shouldnt have any life until u move its disrespectful as hell!! This is the kicker he said the other day he mite not be moving cause no 2nd job and snickered !! I said oh but u r !!! Is he 4 real he still wants to use me for money!! He has been doing lots of stuff thats makes me think he ias gonna try in stay one he installed a shower head in my bathroom that is detachable when i am moving back up to the main bathroom in 2 weeks why? Baught me a fish tank for no reason why? Spending his money left in rite when he already dosent have any!! Stuff for our house which get s put only in my name on monday!! Hwe has bought a couch thats it for his palce as far as i know but he could be hiding things but the couch just happing to match our family room which we need a new couch in!!! I box in car hasnt started to pack a danm thing not that he has much but he needs to go through everything and get all pwand stuff which is 8 years worth to go through!! So i found this laptop adapter and things in his room he aint got a lap top so he bought something for some beeatch for v-day while still living her for 140 a week can u beleive that shizznit!!! The kicker is i wanted a lap top reallllyyyy bad for over a year now !! Wow the respect he has well he has never had it!! No real man could watch his wife work to jobs and set back and chilax!! I dont think hes gonna leave i think he is gonna try in say he dont have the money i am not gonna live with someone this deseatful!! The work it would take to fix this marriage i have the lord on my side i got the strength cause i have faced my demons and come to peace with myself and have rited my wrongs him not so much!!! Roomates is out i cant heal while constanly being disrespected!! I turned myself over to god i was crushed by all i ahve learned and gone through with this divorce and everything else i tried hadnt work so i soul search and lead myself down the rite path for once !!! He is a diffrent person this person i dont love he is mean sneeky emotinally abusive thoughtless cold!! The list could go on for ever that dosent just appear over nite my guess he was always this person i just never cared enough to notice!! Well i am asking what do i do if he asks cant leave my kids dad homeless but m doc wants to put me in a stress unit due to all this so it cant continue!! If he could face his demons and admit his wrongs and last but not least respect and appreciate the things i have done for him and our family and god please be a man i dont have a winkie so why do i have to be the amn of the relation ship i am a danm woman i want to be a woman maybe i could consider it !! I can fall back in love with that man but this amn he is now i wouldnt even consider anither second of him in ourlives thats me and my kids life!! Help its all gonna come to a head cause i have a feeling if he is gonna ask it will be on v-day!!

[hunkahunkaburninlove]

Unless this man finds God I would have no hope for him. He needs a complete heart transplant. I watched a great movie with the mrs called Fireproof. It is a good movie about restoring a marriage. I do not understand why a man would allow his marriage to get in such condition. Not much of a man..

[lkjh]

I really couldn't read it all because of the bold print but from what gathered he is living the single life right under your nose. If this is the case you may want to just ignore it. Ya, he could have bought you other things before but you two are over now or so to speak. Also, from what I read in your other post he had a EA and you had a PA. I didn't see the details but are you sure he had a EA. If not he may be trying to hurt you now. Also who had a affair first? What was the depth of each affair?

[Island Girl]

When the house gets changed into your name - you can legally get him out. Check with he laws in your state but I know here in mine you can't just put someone out in the street.

Any person that you accept to stay in your residence with their belongings that stays more than three days we have to give 30 days notice if they won't just leave on their own) -- but that is here.

If it is the same in your state - all you have to do is get him served right after the house is in your name on Monday.

 

As far as him not having the willingness to get an additional job(s) he better get willing.

 

He may not understand this but he doesn't get a choice as far as whether or not he pays child support. You go to court and it is granted. The amount is decided and then he must pay that.

You can get his wages garnished (NOT a difficult process) and then the child support gets deducted from his check before he even gets it.

 

Also - his tax return money will go to you if he is not up on his payments.

 

So you have recourse.

 

Just stay tight lipped and stay away from him as much as you can while you do your research and get a plan together.

[briteyes]

i wathced fire proff it was a great movie !!! i told him about it and he said i dont do love stories!! i said its not really but ok!! so we go to the christian book store yesturday to get me a new bible and he saw it there!! he said ur movie is here i said i know i told you it is about a spieritual awakening !! he looked a little dumb founded cause he judged before even knowing!! i agree he needs to find god!! i told god i put it in his hands as of today !! but i prayed plz dont let it be my h decision but let it be gods and i will except what ever it may be!! at this point i am over it all!! but if god sees it fit for him to stay i will do what he suggests is best for me and my family!! but i asked for a sign so that i know it was his decision!! this who faith thing is so new to me but when everything else had failed me and i was in so much pain i figured it couldnt hurt!! i am at total peace with what ever happens and at peace with what has happend in my past!! yes i know he has a EA! for 3 years and he still talks to this person dispite the pain it has caused me and our family!! yes i had a PA 4 years ago but i seperated from him while i did it so it wasnt really a affair!! i had a EA for 1 month cause i felt so alone and then i broke it off cause it was wrong!! n i was tired of living a lie!!

[Island Girl]

Hi Briteyes

 

In the future you'll receive a lot more replies if you don't bold the entire message and hit the return key in between sentences sometimes to break it up for easier reading.

 

I don't think every sentence requires two exclamation points either as it detracts from what you really want to emphasize and comes across as yelling the whole message instead but that could be just me.

 

I am happy you are pleased with the way things are going. It seems as though things are not as final as I originally understood from your first message.

 

Good luck to you.

[hunkahunkaburninlove]

There is a good verse that comes to mind for you.

 

Your anger will never bring about the righteousness of God.

 

That means that as mad as you get at him, It will not accomplish what you are hoping for. Concentrate on the things in your life you are thankful for. Your health, your children, your job(s). Look for, and understand that there is a purpose behind everything that happens to you. I have a couple of more verses for you.

 

Romans 8:28 For God causes ALL things to work together for good for those who love him, those called according to his purpose.

 

These are my favorite verses in the OT

 

Jerimiah 29:11-15 For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. [/url] ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers. When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you. If you seek me with all your heart and soul, I will make myself available to you, says the Lord.