ginsane Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Last night I got a text from an ex of a couple of years ago. We've kept in touch somewhat and tried to remain friends since we broke up. He lives about two hours north of me, and was passing through where I live at about 2 a.m. and wanted to hang out. Anyway, he kept asking me if I wanted to do this drug called Ketamine with him. I'd never heard of it before, and I asked him about it. He said it was basically a pain pill. So, he gets a hotel room (this is the part where I know you're all thinking I'm a complete idiot and deserve whatever happened, or could have happened.)..We hang out for awhile, and I made it clear that we're there as friends and just hanging out. All I can say is, I trusted him and decided to try the stupid drug just to try it. He told me he had already taken some. So, I tried it and then the night gets blurry. I remember him saying something about how if it messed with me badly, he'd be there to take care of me. It sounds innocent enough but at the time I remember thinking it was kinda odd, but no big deal. Anyway, most of the night is fuzzy, but at one point I distinctly remember freaking out for some reason. I was fully clothed, and he wasn't touching me so I guess something was said, or something. I'm not sure what happened, but I was really frightened for where the night was going and I had to tell someone where I was. I turned my phone on and texted two friends exactly where I was, and what room. Then I made sure to tell him what I had done, and make it like they had asked where I was and laughed about how it sounded. It was about a five minute window of clarity, then the fuzziness is back. I ended up passing out for two hours. I don't feel like I had sex. The only things that worry me are bruises on the side of my hand/wrist, and the fact I was sore a lot today. Last night was so dream like and blurry, things just started coming back to me tonight. I looked up ketamine, it seems to be a fairly common date rape drug. Nothing like a pain pill. I'm really on the fence about how I feel about this situation. I almost don't want to know what the real intentions or actions were. I do know that I'm not comfortable ever talking to or seeing this guy again, and I feel like he's a different person than how I knew him. I know, I made really stupid choices last night. I can honestly say I've learned a valuable lesson from this, so flaming really won't add anything to my topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 My advice to you would be to go straight to the police and advise them of what happened. You mifght still be able to have a blood test to determine what happened. You werern't stupid, dumb or idiotic. Yopu trusted someone you knew and it looks as if thry took advantage. Good on you for being able to call your friends.... I'm serious. Report this now. Don't even stop to ask any more questions. Just do it. NOW!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 ginsane, Good to know that you are ok and nothing too bad happened. Just remember it like the blurry night in the hotel with mr ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Btw, I just looked it up and it seems like it is a recreational drug. You just don't remember the night. (If you say that you don't have any signs of having sex). Wiki: Like other drugs of this class such as tiletamine and phencyclidine (PCP), it induces a state referred to as "dissociative anesthesia"[4] and is used as a recreational drug. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Ketamine is a horse tranquilizer which is sometimes taken by humans as a recreational drug though it is not meant to be. If you have bruises I would go to the cops. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 If you go to the hospital they can do a rape kit if you haven't taken a shower yet. If you have showered they can still examine you. You say that you are sore - am I to assume vaginally sore? If so they will be able to tell from the exam if there are sign of forcible rape like tearing, etc. You really do need to go and they will assist you in reporting it to the police. You must also disclose that you willingly took the drug and what it is. That doesn't mean that you are at fault in this at all. It just makes sure that you give full disclosure so that, if it is found that you were assaulted, you aren't lying about how or what happened. They need the truth to prosecute. And he SHOULD be prosecuted. I am so sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Ketamine is a horse tranquilizer which is sometimes taken by humans as a recreational drug though it is not meant to be. If you have bruises I would go to the cops. It isn't just a horse tranquilizer. It is used as general anesthetic for operations in human and veterinary medicine as well. When I had ACL surgery this was the drug I was given to initially knock me out and I was completely under. I can't believe kids are taking this as a "recreation" drug. WTF? So they can pretend they never went out and did anything? What happened to having fun and wanting to remember that? Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I'm really on the fence about how I feel about this situation. I almost don't want to know what the real intentions or actions were. I do know that I'm not comfortable ever talking to or seeing this guy again, and I feel like he's a different person than how I knew him. It's understandable that in some ways you'd prefer to stay in the dark about what really happened. That way, you don't have to deal with it on a conscious level....but I'm not sure that brushing it under the carpet and trying to forget about it is a cost free coping method. You know yourself best, and are best placed to decide whether that method would be the simplest, least painful option for you. If you do decide you want some clarity about what happened, how about contacting someone you trust and asking them to go along to hospital with you? Even if you've showered, at this stage they should still be able to ascertain whether there's been recent sexual activity. At least you would have an answer there. It could, after all, be the case that nothing sexual happened, and that the concern you have about not knowing either way is causing unnecessary stress here. Which is part of the problem with the "brushing under the carpet" way of dealing with things. The uncertainty attached to dealing with things that way can result in speculation about what happened - which might be worse than the reality. If it turns out that he was sexual with you, and you had blacked out (therefore not being able to give consent) then by having yourself checked at the hospital you are better placed to get checked for the possibility of infection or unwanted pregnancy - and treated. Additionally, I think you would want to be checked for the effects of this drug he encouraged you to take. You'd also have the option of speaking to the police - or not speaking to them (though other people might urge you to). That is entirely your call. I know that the common advice is "you MUST report it. What if this happens to someone else? You have a moral duty.." However, nobody giving you that advice has to go through the stress and trauma that following it entails. I'm sorry you're in this situation, and hope that you get the support you need in dealing with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I know that the common advice is "you MUST report it. What if this happens to someone else? You have a moral duty.." However, nobody giving you that advice has to go through the stress and trauma that following it entails. Having been through two assault situations - and not have reported to the authorities I can tell you there IS a price to pay there as well. It is not like you don't report it and do not have an additional cross to bear. I am haunted by the fact that this happened to me and I didn't get justice. I let myself be a victim without a voice. I allowed both of them to go on with their lives without any accountability or repercussions when I have had PLENTY from their actions. And worse I may have allowed them to victimize someone else and whatever that has done to that persons life and those around her (them). It is a pebble tossed into a pond. There are ripples no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I ended up passing out for two hours. I don't feel like I had sex. The only things that worry me are bruises on the side of my hand/wrist, and the fact I was sore a lot today. You took drugs that knocked you out pretty well and are surprised that you feel sore and have bruises the next day? That's pretty normal from my experience. Unless you have a real reason to suspect this guy is a potential rapist, I would put the blame where it belongs - the drug. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 i think you should file a police report Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Having been through two assault situations - and not have reported to the authorities I can tell you there IS a price to pay there as well. I'm sorry to hear that, and I hear what you're saying. However a person chooses to deal with this, there can be all kinds of emotional repercussions for them. I wish there was a perfect answer. Link to post Share on other sites
xAdDiktiOn Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 ketamine knocks you out. so why he would give you that is beyond me. it's used on animals as a tranquilizer & used to knock people out during surgeries and what not. you're not an idiot but you should have looked it up before you took it. if you have bruises i would definitely go to the hospital and just cut him off don't talk to him anymore cause he's a scumbag. - no offense but he knew it would knock you out that's why he gave it to you. maybe he got nervous when you told him you had texted your friends and told them where you were and didn't go through with what he had planned but i have no doubt in my mind that he had something planned to hurt you. only God knows what happened but i pray for you and hope it was nothing. <3 Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Last night I got a text from an ex of a couple of years ago. We've kept in touch somewhat and tried to remain friends since we broke up. He lives about two hours north of me, and was passing through where I live at about 2 a.m. and wanted to hang out. Anyway, he kept asking me if I wanted to do this drug called Ketamine with him. I'd never heard of it before, and I asked him about it. It should have stopped right then and there. Link to post Share on other sites
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