help

[mtv]

Well it's really not such a big problem but it's just that i have no idea what i should do and therefore need somebody to help me solve this tiny problem.

 

I love this guy deeply but the problem is that we can't be together because he doesn't live here he lives far away from home. We used to go to the same school but he graduated and left. We started to like eachother four months before he left and so we've never been oficially girlfriend and boyfriend. It's been almost 2 years since then and we love eachother more than we did back then. we communicate by e-mail and icq alot but we don't see eachother much but he claims he really loves me and apreciates me. We haven't gotten involved in a long distance relationship because he more than me says that he can't handle it because he works his ass off aswell as studies his ass off and therefore he says that he wouldn't be able to dedicate the time i deserve, he would be able to call me much and also he wouldn't see me much. He says that he doesn't want to hurt me to live my life because his first priority is to see me happy. I believe him. We have been through a lot of problem we sort of have a relationship but not committment. We tell eachother we love eachother we are together when he is able to come, and we act as though we are together because neither of us are able to be with someone else and every time i tell him there someone else he gets really jeolous but he allows me to have a boyfriend if i find a good one but he told me that when i do to remeber thet he will always love.

 

the problem is this i don't know what to do because even though he loves me so much we can't be together and I always wonder to myself that if we will ever be. So my question is this should i forget this guy or what should i do?

 

I really love him, i can't imagine my self with somebody else and i've always believed that is the one for me because after 2 years we are still together and stronger than ever but in the other hand and don't know if he'll ever come back to the country and we are able to be together.

 

plz help.

[Nina]

My mother told me a story once, about a man she loved when she lived in Korea. Actually, I suppose he was a boy. They were both teenagers, and they fell in love with each other. The problem was that his family was very wealthy, hers was working class. Her mother owned a restaurant, his family was wealthy from "old money."

 

At that time, and for her beau, marriages were to be arranged. She and he arranged it so that they met secretly. In the end, when he revealed to his family that he wanted to marry my mother, they rejected her. They sent him away to school, she was left to work for her mother. Later, he married another girl his parents approved of. My mother was devestated, but she married an American GI and moved to the US. She told me this story after I had a particularly painful break-up and I'll never forget it because it was so poignant and true of lost love.

 

When you love someone and can't be with them, you never forget them. But, life is not like a novel. We can want so badly for things to happen, but circumstances prevent it. The best thing, in these cases, is to move on. Build a beautiful life, be happy where you are. Don't stop loving, but change the way you love him. Affectionately, with fond memories. You need the reality of a man in front of you, who loves you and is there for you and will be committed to you. I still love the man I broke up with. I have fond memories, but I am very happy to have found a man more compatible with me. We have just gotten engaged and plan to marry next spring. Life doesn't stop and mountains don't move unless you are in a novel or movie. Go on with your life and find happiness and fulfillment. Good luck!