does compatible spirituality matter?

[christy]

My boyfriend is an athiest buddhist. I am a christian, don't let him know....he calls himself an anti-christian. My problem isn't that we don't match spiritually, but that we don't actually see eye to eye on anything right now. We have tried conflict resolution and working on listening skills, but he still insists that I don't hear him. I asked him if he wanted to break up, he said that he didn't think so. What's that mean?? Should I have hope? We've been together for 1 1/2 years and have lived together for almost a year. I love him. he's only 22, I'm 25. Doomed?

[James]

Hey Christy, great question.... but to be honest I would suggest calling several religeious org. in your area and ask the pastors or preachers or priests... they are best qualified to anwser your question..but don't tell them you are living together unmarried.. they or most will say you are living in sin and not be truely responsive to you...as for my personal exp. I would say that you two do not have to belong to the same church as long as you both believe in God and Jesus..

My boyfriend is an athiest buddhist. I am a christian, don't let him know....he calls himself an anti-christian. My problem isn't that we don't match spiritually, but that we don't actually see eye to eye on anything right now. We have tried conflict resolution and working on listening skills, but he still insists that I don't hear him. I asked him if he wanted to break up, he said that he didn't think so. What's that mean?? Should I have hope? We've been together for 1 1/2 years and have lived together for almost a year. I love him. he's only 22, I'm 25. Doomed?

[Marcella]

Doomed, I think. I believe that a relationship can work at times with different religious beliefs, as long as there is respect for each other's differences. Doesn't sounds as if this is the case here. You won't even admit your religious beliefs to him because he is an "anti-christian". This lack of openness and sharing alone raises red flags for me. Plus, your two religions are so fundamentally different that I think a long-term relationship would be immensely difficult, especially if marriage and family is something that you both want.

 

You mention that you don't see eye to eye on anything right now. And he "doesn't think" he wants to break up. Why are you two still together? You may feel love for him, but it doesn't sound as if the two of you are getting along at all, there are MAJOR disagreements about spiritual beliefs (which can be a major problem in long term relationships), and he doesn't sound sure he still wants to be with you. You both are so young; he is only 22 for God's sake. My vote is for you both to take some time apart to assess the relationship. It sounds as if the issues you are facing are extremely severe for this point in the relationship, and I bet it would not be difficult for both of you to find someone else more compatible. Sorry to be so negative; I do wish the best for you.

My boyfriend is an athiest buddhist. I am a christian, don't let him know....he calls himself an anti-christian. My problem isn't that we don't match spiritually, but that we don't actually see eye to eye on anything right now. We have tried conflict resolution and working on listening skills, but he still insists that I don't hear him. I asked him if he wanted to break up, he said that he didn't think so. What's that mean?? Should I have hope? We've been together for 1 1/2 years and have lived together for almost a year. I love him. he's only 22, I'm 25. Doomed?