Saw Ex--maybe my expectations WERE too high.

[MeMyself&I]

So Every Friday I meet my friend and we go out to a bar and sing Karaoke. As I stated in an earlier post, my Ex and I have a lot of the same friends. One of my best friends dates his roommate). He decided to come out for the first time since we had the talk on the 18th of January. I wrote in earlier post called "Am I the Dumper of the Dumpee" or something close to that on (2/13).

 

So he plays pool on and off most of the night and then if he's not playing pool he is at our table. I don't want to fool myself into thinking it's because I was sitting there. His best friend and brother were there too (at the table). We said a couple things to each other but mostly talked to everyone else. I tried to be casual and look the other way and not be looking at him constantly. But he was standing (he never sat) right across from me. He did not stand beside me. Some of this may not matter but I thought I would give you the whole picture.

 

I guess I had too high of expectations for myself. I thought I would be able to hang out like this with our mutual friends (and I am okay) and I wouldn't mind the situation at all. WRONG!! Although I'm not heartbroken, I am hurt. I guess I thought he would give me more attention. Why???.....IDK.

 

When he had left at the end of the night, I told my girlfriend wow he didn't have much to say to me?? My girlfriend told me for someone who was over me he sure watched me a lot and what I was doing. I don't know does any of this matter? I know I sound wishy--washy and I did admit this in my earlier thread. I don't know what I want. I definitely do want him back. BUT I know I'll be okay w/o him too.

 

He was talking to one of the people at the table about stuff he had to do tomorrow (which is now today) and said he had to go to Spokane. When a friend asked why, he was really secretive about it and would not say??? It's none of my business I know but I still wonder what he was hiding. When he left, he didn't even say good-bye to me. Although, he didn't really say good-bye to many people.

 

I think it's way to early for me to have these expectations??? We've just known each other so long. It's hurtful to have him strike up and pay attention to every one but me. I'm the one he had a relationship with?!!

 

Any feedback on this meeting? I've had no contact besides this since.....well only last friday. But that was in response to his text wishing me happy b-day. I kept my response brief but polite a thank you pretty much.

 

I think the best thing about this is it lets me vent about my dissappointment. Uhggggg!! Relationships sure can be painful.

 

Okay, let me have it..........just be to the point and helpful in a nice but firm way.......please!!!

[Island Girl]

You said your ex was not demonstrative when you were together. He would be even less so now.

 

The break is fresh. He had an ugly divorce and if he was indeed hurt by your break up then he would certainly pull away from you further.

 

I have been in the situation plenty of being in the same place with an ex - fresh after a break up (me breaking it off) and they all acted the exact same way. Aloof, staring a lot, no conversation, etc. I have always ignored them and eventually it would get to them so much that they'd show up at my door, write me letters, in general try to reconcile.

 

From what I understand you tried to reconcile already and he wasn't receptive.

With his ugly divorce and now this he may just be jaded about women and relationships in general.

 

He may get over it and he may not.

But it is obviously bothering him or he'd have no problem hanging out and talking to you.

So if you want him to care the signals say he does. Now what he does with that caring remains to be seen. He may stuff it and never want to have a relationship again. Or it may eat him alive and he'll come calling on you one way or another.

[MeMyself&I]

Island Girld

 

So if you want him to care the signals say he does. Now what he does with that caring remains to be seen. He may stuff it and never want to have a relationship again. Or it may eat him alive and he'll come calling on you one way or another.

 

The very first thing everyone that is close to him said when I broke up with him and it was obvious that he wouldn't give me the time of day was that he is very stubborn. I've heard a lot of people say on this forum "it doesn't matter who they are or what happened if they wanted you back they would get hold of you/see you." Well I disagree. I think, like my ex, there are people soooo invested in protecting themselves from further hurt and are mad at themselves for once again putting themselves out there and getting hurt.....that they don't show their feelings or vow to not do it again.

 

I guess I need to realize I can't win in this situation. I don't mean win in the way of feeling vindicated some way. I mean that if I wait for him to come back........I don't believe it will happen.......and if I try to initiate any type of serious conversation or reconciliation he is just going to shut down and shut me out.

 

I know deep down my feelings for breaking up were right. So why am I so torn? I just think like I said earlier I would feel better about the break up if I would have done it at a time not influenced by my state of mind and the influence of others.

 

What do I mean by this????? Every friend we had mutual or more my friend or his told me that I deserve better. I'm not saying this to toot my own horn....this is what they said. They said "I was too good for him" He's not a bad guy......he's just a bad boyfriend. I have my own home, a college education I get mistaken for 10 years younger all the time and everyone says he doesn't deserve me. Well when everyone around me kept saying this, I kept telling myself "________ maybe you need to wake up!" Then also being in a very big transition in my life I felt overwhelmed. I felt emotionally drained.

 

Crap........I know people on the forum are going to be like.......so if you and everyone else you know feel you did the right thing.....why are you pining for him? Well.......because I know the things in the relationship that people didn't see. The long talks, the small gestures and the passion.

 

So with our background and his background what should I do? Just maintain no contact? Maybe it needs more time. IDK. It's sooo hard being in the same circle. The first few weeks I did do things like ask about him and fish for information. I haven't been doing that anymore. But it's hard.

 

Any advice on how to proceed would be helpful. I really would like to just be happy. I know I need to find happiness within myself but that does not change the fact that my heart is broken and I just want the pain to go away.

[Trialbyfire]

So do you want to fix him?

[MeMyself&I]

Trial by fire

 

So do you want to fix him?

 

I can't. And I know that's what everyone will say.......and they are right. I do try to be a fixer.......but not as much as I was in the past. I can't fix him. He has to fix himself.

 

I guess I need to realize what's meant to be will happen. He is emotionally unavailable to me........and anyone else he dates right now. He did a 130 degree turn (I won't say 180 cause it was not that much) form the ***hole I dated 2 1/2 years ago. But that was why I was so hesitant to date hime again cause he really hurt me then too. He made a significant effort to try more. Maybe I needed too much but I don't think so. I told him that I could not tell how he felt about me. I don't mean love. If he wasn't ready to express this I understood. I just wanted him to say he cared. I told that nobody can tell how he feels--he doesn't show it. His reply was basically that that was not his problem.

 

Sometimes I feel I should just start over and try to get a new circle of friends and hang-out. But then on top of losing him, I will have lost everyone else I care about. I do live in a very small community too. So it's inevetible that we see each other.

 

Don't know what to do. I guess I'll just keep moving on. I can't make him want me back and I can't change the past. A lot of people always say, "take your power back" on here. Well I've decided to use the same idea but in a little more of a silly way. I call it taking my sunshine back. I've always been witty, fun and a joy to hang around with. But this experience has turned me into someone so pathetic I don't even want to hang with me. (I have gotten better though. this was more in the first 2-3 wks.) So I call it "stealing my sunshine". And I'm going to take it back.

 

Thank you for the posts.

[Trialbyfire]

You understood where I was coming from.

 

The following is an extremely important point:

 

I think, like my ex, there are people soooo invested in protecting themselves from further hurt and are mad at themselves for once again putting themselves out there and getting hurt.....that they don't show their feelings or vow to not do it again.

 

This is important from a long-term perspective. He will react like this every time he feels vulnerable or threatened in some way. Someone like this can't meet you halfway.

 

So you roll over and roll over, until you're bled dry.

 

Better to move on and find someone who's emotionally available. Even if he's emotionally available, he's unable to express it. This can only create resentment and distrust.

[MeMyself&I]

 

So you roll over and roll over, until you're bled dry.

 

Better to move on and find someone who's emotionally available. Even if he's emotionally available, he's unable to express it. This can only create resentment and distrust.

 

I WAS bled dry emotionally. I was always questioning his intentions. We are both busy people with children. So I understood if I didn't see him during the week--we talked most nights. And with this winter we were both snowed in either together or often away from each other. One time we went 3 wks without seeing each other. I was upset but very understanding......this was not all due to the weather. There were opportunities to see each other and he did not take them and I felt I shouldn't be the one to always rush to him. When I asked him about it...he said that he didn't think it was a big deal. We live about 1/2 hour away from each other not much. Another time we didn't see each other for a while he had the opportunity to see me and didn't want to........he just wanted to stay home and have some "alone" time. Okay I get this but then the next night we were all going out to the karaoke bar that I mentioned above and he didn't want me to go....he wanted to go out with the guys. Okay........I understand guys nights out too. But the night before he didn't want to go out or see me and then that night he wanted to go out without me. What the heck did he want??? I told him that our being friends with so many mutual friends and having the same hang-out may cause some issues. But we thought it wasn't a big deal. So this is an example of mixed msgs. Then at other times he would say things like "I'm not gonnna let you go home. I think I'll keep you around." after I'd been snowed in with him for 3 days. Or once when we had a slight disagreement initiated by me. I asked him why he hadn't just told me to F***-Off like he would have 2 1/2 years ago. He said, after a bit of a pause that he had thought about it but that he didn't want to give up on us that easily. Crap man.........what do you want?? Anyway, I won't hash over he said this and that. I'm just trying to show you the mixed msgs.

 

He feels emotion should only be shown in the bed room. WRONG any guy can act caring in the bedroom when they want or have just had sex. He did try by giving me a kiss here and there in public and by holding my hand.........usually by my initiation. He says public displays of affection.......expecially overly exhibited one's make him want to be ill. I guess I kinda agree. I don't mind affection I think it's awesome. But there is a point when maybe they should "get a room."

 

Thanks for reminding me that I deserve to feel loved and appreciated. These are the traits he displays that my friends were alluding to. I just miss him but as you can see I missed him when I was with him too. It's hard to see all my friends still have a fun and close relationship with him when I have nothing.

 

What is the best way for me to move on? I could distance myself but that means no contact with a lot of my friends too. And I need them right now.

 

Thank you.

[MeMyself&I]

Okay so I'm not sure how to interpret my Ex's demeanor last night. And frankly it may be there is no right answer cause it changes from person to person. He was very distant answered me whan I asked a few casual non-personal questions and didn't really offer any communication initiated by him. He wasn't rude just not offering to engage conve. with me in any way. It was not just the two of us at the table (see my first post for the situation).

 

ISLAND GIRL posted that she thought his behavior showed he cared and I would add probably still add hurt. But couldn't it also be interpreted as uncaring and Cold??

 

I don't know why he behaved the way he did. We have a long history as friends and as a couple. I'm hoping we can get back to a point where we are comfortable around each other and therefore it is also comfortable around our friends. It makes it hard. I'm not saying it was all his fault but I tried to engage him in conversation and then just sort of ignored him otherwise. As I said in an above post I felt he was often looking at me and my girlfriend said she observed this too.

 

I was hoping the next time (meaning this time) we ran into each other we could have fun and be civil with all our friends and although I did have fun and so did everyone else, you could definitely feel the tension.

 

So please anybody tell me what you think. Thank you.

[bubblegum]

I don't know, it's really hard to say. I can't guage how friendly and open you are to him. You were the one who dumped him initially, so why should he demonstrate much friendliness toward you, especially in front of mutual friends? It seems like, from the little you've described, that you might come off as much more aloof than you think you do... could that be true?

 

I've read your other post, and am thinking about his general characteristics too, so I'm not taking that out of the equation. I just feel like there's more info about you, and how you interact with him, that might enable us to help you out.

[Island Girl]

If he didn't care he wouldn't have avoided you.

 

Yes his behavior is cold. It seems his is hurt and probably angry. And he appears to be the type to "stuff" emotions in the first place so of course you are seeing him withdraw and be "cold".

 

Will he stay like this to you? I don't know. If he is playing the "blame game" which in his mind he thinks you went overboard by breaking it off and he is resentful and angry then he will continue to shove you aside.

All of those feeling come from being hurt. And you can't feel the hurt if you don't care.

 

Does knowing that fix anything? No.

He may be stubborn and stay rooted where he is.

 

What you need to do is go on with your life and make his lack of communication is HIS problem; not yours.

 

Since you initiated the break up you have to get comfortable with your decision. I realize you regretted it almost immediately but where it is is where it is.

He knows you wanted to reconcile and he wasn't receptive to that. So you have to accept the situation at face value.

[bubblegum]

Since you initiated the break up you have to get comfortable with your decision. I realize you regretted it almost immediately but where it is is where it is.

He knows you wanted to reconcile and he wasn't receptive to that. So you have to accept the situation at face value.

 

Perhaps he needs more pro-active demonstration of her true intent to reconcile? She dumped him, so why should he be the one to show interest? Shouldn't she be the one trying to let him know her regret and her new intentions?

 

She didn't act much more interested in him than he did her, according to her description of last night, so what does he have to go on? Asking him a few questions in front of friends isn't the same as pulling him aside and initiating a private conversation.....

[MeMyself&I]

Bubble gum

 

I don't know, it's really hard to say. I can't guage how friendly and open you are to him. You were the one who dumped him initially, so why should he demonstrate much friendliness toward you, especially in front of mutual friends? It seems like, from the little you've described, that you might come off as much more aloof than you think you do... could that be true?

 

I've read your other post, and am thinking about his general characteristics too, so I'm not taking that out of the equation. I just feel like there's more info about you, and how you interact with him, that might enable us to help you out.

 

So I don't know he's always been hard to approach. Even we were dating our best conversations were on the phone or one on one usually in the privacy of the bedroom. He's never been a big talker--at least to me. I see him talk to other girls fairly well but he always seems to hold back from me. I don't know if it's shyness or just the way he is. He told me he doesn't like to talk much--he is an observer.

 

So then I too hold back afraid of being too overbearing and it is hard to have a one-sided conversation. Maybe I am more aloof with him. I'm usually very funny, joke a lot and make all my friends laugh. But with him I feel less able to be that way (at least one-on-one). I guess I was kind of like him being really friendly to everyone but him.....although I did try to tease him about sitting in for my girlfriend while she sang in the dice game we were playing. He rolled a better hand than I did and took all the money. (It was mine until he rolled) He did not react to it. Like a brick wall although as I said earlier...not mean or unfriendly.

 

Don't know what these Dynamics mean.

[MeMyself&I]

If he didn't care he wouldn't have avoided you.

 

Yes his behavior is cold. It seems his is hurt and probably angry. And he appears to be the type to "stuff" emotions in the first place so of course you are seeing him withdraw and be "cold".

 

I know....I totally get this. And he does not handle stress well. I saw this first-hand when we had the bad week right before the breakup. Seems I could do nothing right and then in turn he felt he could do nothing right. We were feeding off each other's emotions.

 

Will he stay like this to you? I don't know. If he is playing the "blame game" which in his mind he thinks you went overboard by breaking it off and he is resentful and angry then he will continue to shove you aside.

All of those feeling come from being hurt. And you can't feel the hurt if you don't care.

 

I think he is blaming me which of course is applicable. He told me and his best friend told me.......which leads me to believe they both pondered this conclusion that I broke up with him..........so why am I upset. I guess as men they don't understand thinking with their emotions as well (I don't want to generalize here. I know some men can be emotional) My Ex told me when he makes a decision he takes all emotion out of it and it's black and white. This is the good things this is the bad things. He makes a decision and it is FINAL. This worries me because if he's made the decision not to go back.........Is there any hope of reconciliation??? This trait is awesome for some things. Like when he helped me decids to keep my house on the market or rent it but for decisions in a relationship it's a big brick wall that does not give.

 

Does knowing that fix anything? No.

He may be stubborn and stay rooted where he is.

 

Definitely he may. His close friends already said how stubborn he is.

 

What you need to do is go on with your life and make his lack of communication is HIS problem; not yours.

 

I understand. Makes sense but soooo hard to do. I see all our friends still having a close relationship to him and feel sooo rejected all over again. Last night my best friend the one dating his best friend danced a slow dance with him. I didn't mind this out of jealousy toward her...she loves her man. I minded it because I wanted it to be me and wish I could have that again with him.

 

Since you initiated the break up you have to get comfortable with your decision. I realize you regretted it almost immediately but where it is is where it is.

He knows you wanted to reconcile and he wasn't receptive to that. So you have to accept the situation at face value.

 

I do need to accept it and sometimes I'm really good and sometimes I'm soooo down. I really miss him.

[bubblegum]

NO, people, think about this. She dumped him. He was hurt. 5 days later she was full of sorrow and wanted to be back with him. He said I need time.

 

She's left him alone. He said happy birthday, she said thanks, actually my bday is monday, but I'm going out with friends tonight.

 

Thats it.

 

She hasn't contacted him again and let him know anything more of how she feels now. What does he have to go on? Why should he act anything other than cautiously around her?

 

Seriously?

[MeMyself&I]

BUBBLE GUM

 

NO, people, think about this. She dumped him. He was hurt. 5 days later she was full of sorrow and wanted to be back with him. He said I need time.

 

She's left him alone. He said happy birthday, she said thanks, actually my bday is monday, but I'm going out with friends tonight.

 

Thats it.

 

She hasn't contacted him again and let him know anything more of how she feels now. What does he have to go on? Why should he act anything other than cautiously around her?

 

Seriously?

 

I see your point bubble gum. I am just afraid that since the last time I tried to talk to him he got really withdrawn and said it was over he didn't want to try that if I try to talk to him again the same thing will happen.

 

How can I approach him and not feel like I'm pressuring him at the same time? I don't think he would be receptive to my having a one-on-one conversation with him right now. He told a friend a couple weeks ago he wasn't going to go out with them to the karaoke place we go to because he didn't want to deal with it--meaning me. This was after the time I asked to talk to him right after the break-up. He came out last night, I think, realizing I was not going to do this again to him and force a conversation.

 

So what do I do? He doesn't check an e-mail regulary. He has a cell phone and texting. But texting is soooo limiting. Writing a letter seems weird to me in this day and age. I don't know what to say. I think he would respond better to my being a strong self-supporting person. Rather than coming across like I have to have him.

 

He HATES needy. He told me this when we talked about dating again. His ex was needy and he will run as fast as he can at the first sign of neediness. We agreed I would try to be less emotional and he agreed to try to be more emotional. But I guess we can only be who we are and do what we can do.

 

Please give me suggestions. I don't know if just ignoring it and moving on will make him come round and if not how should I contact him.

[MeMyself&I]

If he didn't care he wouldn't have avoided you.

 

Yes his behavior is cold. It seems his is hurt and probably angry. And he appears to be the type to "stuff" emotions in the first place so of course you are seeing him withdraw and be "cold".

 

I know....I totally get this. And he does not handle stress well. I saw this first-hand when we had the bad week right before the breakup. Seems I could do nothing right and then in turn he felt he could do nothing right. We were feeding off each other's emotions.

 

 

Will he stay like this to you? I don't know. If he is playing the "blame game" which in his mind he thinks you went overboard by breaking it off and he is resentful and angry then he will continue to shove you aside.

All of those feeling come from being hurt. And you can't feel the hurt if you don't care.

 

I think he is blaming me which of course is applicable. He told me and his best friend told me.......which leads me to believe they both pondered this conclusion that I broke up with him..........so why am I upset. I guess as men they don't understand thinking with their emotions as well (I don't want to generalize here. I know some men can be emotional) My Ex told me when he makes a decision he takes all emotion out of it and it's black and white. This is the good things this is the bad things. He makes a decision and it is FINAL. This worries me because if he's made the decision not to go back.........Is there any hope of reconciliation??? This trait is awesome for some things. Like when he helped me decids to keep my house on the market or rent it but for decisions in a relationship it's a big brick wall that does not give.

 

Does knowing that fix anything? No.

He may be stubborn and stay rooted where he is.

 

Definitely he may. His close friends already said how stubborn he is when I said he won't have anything to do with me.....they didn't seem surprised.

 

What you need to do is go on with your life and make his lack of communication is HIS problem; not yours.

 

I understand. Makes sense but soooo hard to do. I see all our friends still having a close relationship to him and feel sooo rejected all over again. Last night my best friend the one dating his best friend danced a slow dance with him. I didn't mind this out of jealousy toward her...she loves her man. I minded it because I wanted it to be me and wish I could have that again with him.

 

 

Since you initiated the break up you have to get comfortable with your decision. I realize you regretted it almost immediately but where it is is where it is.

He knows you wanted to reconcile and he wasn't receptive to that. So you have to accept the situation at face value.

 

I do need to accept it and sometimes I'm really good and sometimes I'm soooo down. I really miss him.

[MeMyself&I]

So I had a good night last night. Went out to the karaoke spot. I had tons of friends there and had fun.

 

My EX was not there and I can't say I wasn't disappointed although it made the night less stressful at the same time. So I don't think I should fool myself into believing he's not avoiding me. Before we started dating again he was usually there all the time.

 

I worry like most people on here if he seeing anyone else. He never seems to stay single very long and it's been a month since we broke up. I would like to think out friends would tell me but it seems uncomfortable when I ask them personal questions about him. I just wish they would realize although it will hurt I would rather know then imagine whether he is or is not.

 

I'm too nervous to call him. What if he ignores the call then what do I say? My friends all say to ingnore him, you can do better, he'll never be able to give you what you need......etc, etc. But even as I try to value their opinions I can't just turn off how I feel. I'm tempted to e-mail him but as I said earlier......I don't know how often he checks it. And then I would worry whether he had seen it. If he was ignoring my e-mail because he didn't get it or because he didn't want to talk to me.

 

I also don't know what to say. Should I say.

 

"C _ _ _ _, I felt I should reach out to you one more time since I was the one who initiated the break-up. I feel that the one earlier attempt I made may belittle the hurt I caused and be insufficient in showing you I'm sorry. If you have sincerely put our relationship behind you, I will understand and move on. But I hope if you tell me that you are okay with the break-up and it's not what you want that your decision is based on how you really feel and not because of stubborness or pride. It's hard having no kind of relationship with you and not being close to you. I hesitated in contacting you because I don't want to push you away further. I also know you voiced your feelings when we talked a few weeks ago and I respect them. But that was less than a week after we parted and emotions were raw. I took the chance in contacting you this time because I don't want you to feel my lack of communication with you reflected my lack of interest. I'm sure you don't want another round of well if you would have done this and I should have done that. I think we both realize that we both played a role in the break-up. I needed clarification of your feelings and to feel I was important. You needed me to not overanalyze and play it cool. I hope you feel like you can contact me either way in response to this message. If I don't hear from you I will know that I should continue to move on.

 

So I know it's really long but I feel it says how I feel. Now if I only knew what medium to use to get it to him. Please let me know what you think or what I should do.

[MeMyself&I]

So I sent him an e-mail. It's my last attempt. I felt as the dumper I should try at least one more time.

 

I just hope he gets the message. Texting would have been tooo long and I was not ready to call him.

 

This is what I wrote.

 

C____,

 

I felt I should reach out to you one more time since I was the one who initiated the break-up. I feel that the one earlier attempt I made may belittle the hurt I caused and be insufficient in showing you I'm sorry.

 

If you have sincerely put our relationship behind you, I understand and will continue to move on. I just wanted to make an attempt to talk to you before settling into another relationship and be plagued with regrets. I hope IF you tell me that you are okay with the break-up and a reconciliation is not what you want that your decision is based on how you really feel and not because of stubborness or pride. I know you hold your emotions close and protect yourself from being hurt since you have been in the past. It's hard having no kind of relationship with you and not being close to you. I hesitated in contacting you because I don't want to push you further away. I didn't/don't want you to feel i will corner you at the Saddle and upset you or make things uncomfortable with insisting on another talk (I won't do this. I hope you saw that on Friday). I don't want you to feel you can't go there because of me. I know you voiced your feelings when we talked a few weeks ago and I respect them. But that was less than a week after we parted and emotions were raw. I took the chance in contacting you this time because I don't want you to feel my lack of communication with you reflected my lack of interest or caring. I really struggled with whether to say these things or just leave it alone. I'm sure you don't want another round of you should have done this and I should have done that. I think we realize that we both played a role in the culmination of our break-up. I needed clarification of your feelings and to feel I was important. You needed me to not overanalyze and play it cool. I hope you feel like you can contact me either way in response to this message. If I don't hear from you I will know that I should continue to move on.

 

I was in a tough place emotionally at the time of our break up. I felt I had lost my identity and was kind of waffling along. I was no longer a student, didn't have a job, money was tight and we were having problems that last week. I was sooo emotionally overwhelmed. You say you have a hard time with stress. Well I don't always handle it well either. I am now really busy with work and Dylan has wrestling. I leave at 7am and some nights I'm not home until 8 pm or so. Loooong days!! I wouldn't have had time to miss you.

 

I know they say "time heals all wounds" I believe this is true. So if we decide to continue as we are, I am hopeful eventually we will talk and interact in a closer manner even if we aren't together. Who knows maybe by then both of will have truly moved on and it won't matter. (kind of a sad thought to think that our knowing each other may not matter when we've been as close as we've been) There are many things I still miss about our being together. But I also try not to fool myself into believing it was all roses and butterflies too. But no relationship is.

 

I just wanted to make sure I didn't have any regrets by not saying these things to you and know that I did all I could to make amends.

 

Hope to talk to you soon.

 

I hope people feel I wrote the right things. Now I get to wait and wonder if he gets my message.

 

Feel free to give me feedback. Thank you!