Why do people say "be yourself?"

[nana yaw II]

take person A, who is funny, talkative, lively and outgoing.

 

Now take person B, who is quiet, seldom talks, boring, and has a dull personality.

 

Person A would get further in life than person B, certainly, so why should person B be him or herself?

 

People kind of say it's sin to change oneself, but why? It's no different to anything else one can do to improve their life. Who would say improving one's life is bad?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Person A and Person B are suited for different types of careers, and would likely excel in each of them based on their personality types.

 

Let's say Person B tries to "improve on him/herself" and takes a job better suited for Person A. On the surface, Person B might do well for a while but it would be a constant struggle to maintain something that they inherently aren't suited for. Same for Person A.

 

Person B might do well in a quiet, work intensive IT job and be perfectly happy hermited away in a cubical or at a desk away form other people. Person A might do well at an open work environment for a busy graphic design firm.

 

Basically - don't see it as improving, see it as doing what you are best suited to do based on your abilities and personality type, instead of trying to change into someone that you inherently are not.

[nana yaw II]

Person A and Person B are suited for different types of careers, and would likely excel in each of them based on their personality types.

 

Let's say Person B tries to "improve on him/herself" and takes a job better suited for Person A. On the surface, Person B might do well for a while but it would be a constant struggle to maintain something that they inherently aren't suited for. Same for Person A.

 

Person B might do well in a quiet, work intensive IT job and be perfectly happy hermited away in a cubical or at a desk away form other people. Person A might do well at an open work environment for a busy graphic design firm.

 

Basically - don't see it as improving, see it as doing what you are best suited to do based on your abilities and personality type, instead of trying to change into someone that you inherently are not.

 

lol.. what?

 

Dull people never prosper. i bet person b would be a loner for the rest of his/her life.

[knaveman]

You should just go punch person B. Dull people deserve to be punched.

[D-Lish]

take person A, who is funny, talkative, lively and outgoing.

 

Now take person B, who is quiet, seldom talks, boring, and has a dull personality.

 

Person A would get further in life than person B, certainly, so why should person B be him or herself?

 

People kind of say it's sin to change oneself, but why? It's no different to anything else one can do to improve their life. Who would say improving one's life is bad?

 

Person "B" used to be cool- but some dude-box punched him in the face and he suffered a head injury rendering him dull and useless.

 

Who said it's sin to change yourself? Was that Dumble? Don't listen to him, he's drunk. Persuasive- but a drunk.

[nana yaw II]

no one deserves to be punched.

 

but dull people are hated, so why should anybody be dull?

[nana yaw II]

Person "B" used to be cool- but some dude-box punched him in the face and he suffered a head injury rendering him dull and useless.

 

Who said it's sin to change yourself?

 

society says so.

[Citizen Erased]

Because it is impossible to be something you're not for the rest of your life. And if you are lucky enough to find someone that will fall in love with the fake you, you will know they aren't in love with the real, 100% true blue little old you.

[chris250]

True freedom only comes when you can be yourself and accept yourself instead of trying to change to conform to the expectations of others.

 

There is nothing wrong with persons A or B. They just fit in with different situations. Neither one of them are doing anything illegal or unethical. They are not hurting other people.

 

You're never going to be happy if you feel you were put on this earth to fulfill other people's dreams. You'll be in bondage the rest of your life.

 

If you go the route of changing to please other people then you'll have to keep that up forever. Women especially can see right through it. If you build a relationship on a superficial foundation then you'll need that superficial foundation to keep that relationship.

[nana yaw II]

True freedom only comes when you can be yourself and accept yourself instead of trying to change to conform to the expectations of others.

 

There is nothing wrong with persons A or B. They just fit in with different situations. Neither one of them are doing anything illegal or unethical. They are not hurting other people.

 

You're never going to be happy if you feel you were put on this earth to fulfill other people's dreams. You'll be in bondage the rest of your life.

 

If you go the route of changing to please other people then you'll have to keep that up forever. Women especially can see right through it. If you build a relationship on a superficial foundation then you'll need that superficial foundation to keep that relationship.

 

it's not about hurting anybody else.

 

it's about how dull people suck, and are boring.

 

wouldn't it better if there were personality transplants? like if a person has a bad personality, their brain structure can be changed to make them more lively?

[Lovelybird]

It comes back with our HEART

 

If your heart is in right place, you have many interesting things (uplifting, inspiring, buildup, edifying...) in your heart first, then you are going to have conversations that interesting. But the point isn't about to please people, there are times one has to stand alone to guard his belief even that means others don't agree with him (courage).

 

So it is about if one's heart is alive or dead.

 

There shouldn't be dull people, everyone is made beautiful, if they find the beautiful source (God) who made them, and fully developed in HIM, then they are beautiful as the original intention meant them to be

[D-Lish]

society says so.

 

Society says it's a sin to change yourself?

I'm going to need a link reference- and wikipedia is not valid.

[monkey00]

I don't think it was ever written that you're not allowed to improve or grow as a person just because you're "being yourself". People change and grow throughout life. The whole "be yourself" thing shouldn't be taken too literal, it's all relative to who you were, who you are currently, and who you will become.

 

And of course the worst extent of this case are people who don't know who they are or belong in this world. They suffer from identity issues which in this respect is more difficult to grasp the concept of 'being yourself'.

 

It's all about confidence.

[Green]

I don't do the things I do because I think they are fun and exciting for other people but fun for me. And if something is fun for me and boring for everyone else I would still go ahead and do it. If your not true to yourself people will probably see through you and you'll lack genuine qualities and you'll know your fake. Changing yourself is fine if it means getting over a fear or doing something you always wanted to do... its just shady if you pretend you are some one your not

[anne1707]

no one deserves to be punched.

 

 

i still don't see why it's wrong to hit somebody though.

 

 

Showing as much sense and consistency as usual, I see.

[wuggle]

In your cases Nana I would recommend you DONT be yourself.

 

yeah I know "I dont understand"....

[Taramere]

it's about how dull people suck, and are boring.

 

So do something about it then. I agree that for someone like you, "be yourself" advice just isn't good enough. Anyone who doesn't even have enough originality and sparkle to troll a message board entertainingly has a bit of a slog ahead of them, but that's not to say it's impossible for you to become slightly less dull a person than you are at the moment.

 

Here's what I recommend. Go to this site and find out a bit more about what your basic temperament is. Personality, I think, is slightly different in that it also depends on your intelligence level, life experiences, the people you've spent most time around and the way you were parented as a child. Once you have a basic idea of who you are, you're better placed to find ways of coping with your weak areas and building on your strengths.

 

Nothing in your posts suggest high intelligence level, but I suppose there's the possibility that you're an idiot savant. It seems unlikely, because if you were you'd probably be too absorbed in your one area of talent/expertise to post on here - but who knows?

 

So if you don't have the intelligence to be interesting, then you have to boost yourself up in other areas to avoid being dull. For instance, you might have to spend a lot of time flattering other people and encouraging them to talk about themselves. Other people seldom get tired of that.

 

From your posts, your current idea of trying to avoid being a dullard involves making offensive comments about anyone who doesn't match up to popular social norms of who and what people should be. That works for some people, but not for you. For a start, you yourself probably don't match up to popular expectations of what a person should be. Also, you aren't funny, insightful or interesting enough, which is why people respond to your offensiveness as an irritant rather than as a source of entertainment.

 

For you, the the sucking your way up to success route is probably the most feasible option. Your current method makes you the human equivalent of a dull, thumping headache. Or a bluebottle buzzing the last few seconds of its life away on a windowsill. In any working environment, you're just going to get squashed like a bug for that - and rightly so.

 

Start sucking up, matey. This is a good place for you to practice.

[nana yaw II]

lol...

 

no one cares about intelligence. though i guess how one defines intelligence. intelligence in terms of academia, yes. intelligence in terms of common sense/wisdom, yes. intelligence in terms of general knowledge? who gives a damn? who really cares how deep the Mariana Trench is? Or where Margaret Thatcher was born? LOL!! Knowing these things have no relevance to daily living.

[nana yaw II]

In your cases Nana I would recommend you DONT be yourself.

 

yeah I know "I dont understand"....

 

myself?

 

in real life, i don't go out of my way to insult people, and i act on a strong ethic of reciprocity. human action is reciprocal, is it not?

[wuggle]

myself?

 

in real life, i don't go out of my way to insult people, and i act on a strong ethic of reciprocity. human action is reciprocal, is it not?

 

Please don't misunderstand me Nana, I did sincerley mean that to help you. From what I have read of your posts you are one of the most antagonistic, beligerant, agressive frustrating people on this site. When I said I recommend you DONT be yourself I meant it. From what I have read you are one of the rare occasions when I would not give the "be yourself" advice.

 

I really do think you need to change.

 

When I have completely given up on your threads I will simply ignore them, I post in a flippant way as I feel that might (but very unlikely) get through to you.

[nana yaw II]

I'm never aggressive.

[LucreziaBorgia]

lol.. what?

 

Dull people never prosper. i bet person b would be a loner for the rest of his/her life.

 

What if being a loner is part of his/her basic makeup as a person, and does not see it as something that needs to be improved upon, and prospers in the way that they deem to be prosperous?

 

Why do you feel a need to apply your template to others and judge them in the ways that you do?

 

Does it make you mad when people don't fit into the boxes you assign them? I don't expect you to make sense of that. You seem pretty rigid in your inability to see people and situations outside of the maps and rules that you apply to them.

 

I suspect that the idea of a dull loner making it in the world really upsets you. For every you, though - there are plenty of insanely prosperous Bill Gates types to prove you wrong.

[nana yaw II]

Society says it's a sin to change yourself?

I'm going to need a link reference- and wikipedia is not valid.

 

society says it's a sin since it says to be yourself.

[nana yaw II]

What if being a loner is part of his/her basic makeup as a person, and does not see it as something that needs to be improved upon, and prospers in the way that they deem to be prosperous?

 

Why do you feel a need to apply your template to others and judge them in the ways that you do?

 

Does it make you mad when people don't fit into the boxes you assign them? I don't expect you to make sense of that. You seem pretty rigid in your inability to see people and situations outside of the maps and rules that you apply to them.

 

I suspect that the idea of a dull loner making it in the world really upsets you. For every you, though - there are plenty of insanely prosperous Bill Gates types to prove you wrong.

 

people despise loners. this is just a fact.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I can assure you that society may say 'be yourself' out of one side of its mouth, but I assure you that it is saying anything but out of the other side. Why would there be so many 'self improvement' books/media? So many 'how to get a man/woman' books/media?

 

It is a matter of "be yourself, but change completely to get what you want".

 

Be yourself might be warm and fuzzy, but offering a chance to 'change' is what makes the money. You can bet on that.